Lainie Davidson, LCSW

05/09/2025

Be kind...Always...

09/06/2023

If these reasons aren’t enough and you can’t think of any reason to live, call 988 (Su***de and crisis lifeline) where counselors will listen until you don’t feel so overwhelmed…

05/10/2023

Something we need to hear every day…

02/11/2023

06/05/2022

Empathy…Compassion…Listening…Caring…Concern…Understanding…

Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being's suffering. Not a career. Not wealth. Not intelligence. Certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we're going to survive with dignity.

- Audrey Hepburn

06/03/2022

Truth…

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one, you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & John Kessler
Artwork by Toshiyuki Enoki

02/11/2022

How to protect your relationship during conflict…

Have you ever reflected on an argument you had with your partner and just thought, “We do not get each other”? Or maybe you find yourself wondering, “Why does this matter so much to them? Why can’t they see it from my perspective?” Or even, “Why does this matter so much to me?”

The latest release from the Gottman Relationship Coach, Dealing with Conflict, is here to help you uncover the answers to those questions and more.

Every individual is unique, which means every relationship is an equally singular combination of dreams, opinions, viewpoints, and proclivities. Dive deep into the inner world of your relationship and gain an understanding of each other to ease communication and conflict—only on our new Gottman Connect platform.

Purchase the Gottman Relationship Coach: Dealing with Conflict today and work toward “getting” each other, even in conflict: http://bit.ly/3iaoR1K

Please note: This post is not intended to address situations of abuse.

01/10/2022

A Teaching Moment…

TFW you see your kid hit her little sister out of nowhere. It's like in a movie when time slows down and the character yells NO-OO-OO-OO 😲Then snaps back into place, and you're standing there thinking, "WTF! Is my kid a psychopath? Is she not even caring that she just hurt someone?! She needs to learn to care. We need to make this right."🚨

Then the words pop right out: "YOU NEED TO GO SAY SORRY FOR HITTING HER."

We’re not big on forced apologies, which usually looks like this: Her head is downcast, you’re standing over her, and she mutters, “Sorry.” Forced apologies can leave them feeling ashamed, like they were a "bad boy or girl" — feelings that totally inhibit any real learning + growing from happening👎

What’s our goal in this moment? We want to teach our kid not to hit✔️teach her to FEEL sorry✔️and teach her to FEEL remorseful✔️What we want to do is built internal motivation for saying she’s sorry🧠⁠

When you force your kid to say sorry, the muttered apology is EXTERNAL MOTIVATION, to make you happy, bc you said so. They’re going to spit it out, move on & run away. No lessons learned, no long term growth 👋

So, if your goal is to help your kid build empathy after they've hit, nix the whole "forced apology" thing + try this:

✨”LET'S SEE HOW WE CAN HELP HER FEEL BETTER."✨

Why is this different than forcing an apology?

✨You're guiding their attention to the fact that the other kid HAS FEELINGS TOO✨

✨You're showing them that feelings can change - and when you or someone doesn't feel so good, you can make it feel better with care + love✨

✨⁠Kids LOVE being involved, not orders being barked at them. The best way to teach, is to involve them✨

✨By leading the interaction now, you're teaching them how to have empathy all on their own soon✨

These steps build INTERNAL motivation, and someday, soon, out of the blue, you’ll hear your kid at the playground say “Sorry, are you okay?” And you’ll actually swell with pride and maybe pass out and die on the spot (speaking from experience) 💀😭🙌💯

✨Struggling with discipline, power struggles & skill building? Our course is here to help. For parents of kids ages 1-6. Link in bio!✨

01/08/2022

How to be a comfort to a grieving person…

This is a difficult, but important truth to accept when trying to support a grieving person:

There is nothing you can do to take away their pain.

Getting your person to “cheer up” is not a realistic goal and trying to make it so can cause a lot of problems:

1. Your grieving person may feel like they need to put on a happy or brave face for you.
2. Your grieving person may receive your attempts to “fix things” as judgement that they aren’t grieving “correctly” in your eyes.
3. Your grieving person may find your attempts to “cheer them up” hurtful because (even though you may not realize it) your words and/or gestures of “comfort” come across as dismissive.

The result of these scenarios is:

1. They feel stress (on top of their grief).
2. They feel shame (on top of their grief).
3. They feel anger (on top of their grief).
They do not feel better. They feel worse.

No matter how good your intentions are and how much you try, if you approach grief support with the goal of cheering your person up, you are setting yourself up for failure.

So, let’s redirect that care and energy towards a different goal:

Assure your grieving person they are not alone.

Be there for them. Be there with them. It may not seem like much, but it’s the most important thing you can do.

For more, visit: https://speakinggrief.org/get-better-at-grief/supporting-grief/be-authentic

11/25/2021

For those of you who are missing someone at your Thanksgiving table…I truly understand and I am so sorry…

“Be grateful for everything you still have.”

“At least you still have other, living children.”

“Look how much you’ve grown from this experience.”

Grieving people are often pressured to “look on the bright side” and “focus on what they still have.”

This well-intentioned advice can invalidate the pain that someone is carrying.

You can be grateful for what you have and still grieve what you have lost.

Grieving people: it’s OK to not feel thankful.

Grief supporters: it’s OK for your grieving person to not feel thankful.

Grief is hard. Let’s hold space for the hard.

09/10/2021

To build trust in your relationships…Be brave. Be honest. Be humble. Be kind.