Boys' Institute for Growth

Boys' Institute for Growth Enhancing relationships between boys and their families, peers, and their communities. BIG is a place where boys and parents come to learn and grow.

It is for boys with common, everyday struggles like fitting in, dealing with peer pressure, or coping with divorce, as well as for those boys with more significant difficulties like ADHD, depression, anxiety, social isolation, and acting out in destructive ways. For pre-teen and teen boys, BIG offers a chance to learn about “being male” and its wide-ranging meaning to cope with and express feelings, to make and keep good friends, and to relate more effectively with parents and siblings. Another part of BIG’s philosophy is to help boys understand, develop, and nurture their relationships with both girls and boys. For parents, BIG provides the opportunity to learn about how boys tend to operate without pigeonholing them into traditional gender stereotypes. Parents also learn about how the larger culture influences boys and their concepts of masculinity, and what they can do to help their sons think deeply about what it means to be a man in the 21st Century. They also come to get support from other parents who may be in similar spots: wanting to be closer to their sons, feeling confused about how to effectively parent their boys, or maybe just feeling alone in their everyday struggles as busy caregivers. BIG helps parents feel less isolated and more connected to others who know about the ups and downs of parenting boys.

Hello, 4S Ranch! It was great to get another BIG Talk for Boys in before the Thanksgiving holiday. Speaking of that, I f...
11/26/2025

Hello, 4S Ranch! It was great to get another BIG Talk for Boys in before the Thanksgiving holiday.

Speaking of that, I feel so grateful for these opportunities to teach FACTS to these boys and to be able to partner with their parents and trusted adults.

As you can tell by the first pic, the boys were feeling the need to seek help from a higher power before we got started, but they settled in and, by the end (see second pic), were feeling good!

As always, good job by you, boys!!!

P**n isn’t s*x education. It’s often unrealistic, aggressive, and disconnected from real-life intimacy, which includes c...
11/25/2025

P**n isn’t s*x education. It’s often unrealistic, aggressive, and disconnected from real-life intimacy, which includes consent, communication, respect, and…LOVE!.

Many boys are first exposed to p**n before they’ve had a single trusted conversation about s*x or relationships. And without context, it becomes their “curriculum.”

Parents, this is your cue.

Talk early. Talk often. Be real.

Your honesty can outmatch the internet.

Today is Men’s Health Day, but real men’s health begins long before adulthood.It begins with early conversations about p...
11/19/2025

Today is Men’s Health Day, but real men’s health begins long before adulthood.

It begins with early conversations about puberty, emotional literacy, and respectful relationships.

When we teach boys that strength encompasses vulnerability, that hygiene and exercise are forms of self-care, and that giving and getting consent is all about respect, we lay the foundation for lifelong well-being.

Boys are 3x more likely to be diagnosed with conduct disorders than depression, not because they don’t feel, but because...
11/14/2025

Boys are 3x more likely to be diagnosed with conduct disorders than depression, not because they don’t feel, but because they often express emotions differently.

✅ Notice

Look beyond the surface.

• Anger might be (and is often) sadness in disguise.
• Silence might signal stress.
• Acting out might mean he’s feeling overwhelmed.

Emotional distress in boys doesn’t always have a “typical” look.

✅ Name

Help boys understand and label emotions.

• Give language to feelings beyond “mad” or “fine.”
• Normalize routine emotional check-ins.
• And when he’s able to express what he feels, talk about his sadness, shame, anxiety, or anger as normal, healthy, and hard experiences to tolerate and manage…not to avoid. 

✅ Nurture

Provide safe spaces for expression.

• Model vulnerability and emotional honesty, especially if you’re a dad and or male trusted adult.
• Encourage healthy outlets: movement, music, drawing, journaling.
• Listen without fixing; sometimes presence is enough.

Two more BIG Talks for Boys this past weekend, both in Carlsbad...beautiful settings, with eager-to-learn boys and their...
11/12/2025

Two more BIG Talks for Boys this past weekend, both in Carlsbad...beautiful settings, with eager-to-learn boys and their wonderful trusted adults. 

As you can see, we had a dog who seemed very ready to learn, lots of pink crocks (boys can wear whatever color they choose!), and several questions about butt hair and di*********es (if you don't know, then feel free to look it up!). Never a dull moment with these families! Oh, and Mr. Di*******ry, this song is for you. 

As always, great job by you, boys and trusted adults!

Puberty doesn’t follow a set schedule.Some boys start as early as 9, while others begin much later. Growth spurts tend t...
11/11/2025

Puberty doesn’t follow a set schedule.

Some boys start as early as 9, while others begin much later. Growth spurts tend to peak around ages 13–14, but emotional development continues well into young adulthood.

And that’s all normal.

Let’s stop treating puberty like a single moment and start viewing it as a long, involved process.

✅ Normalize and support early or late bloomers

✅ Support boys through every stage

✅ Focus on personal growth, not comparisons

💬 Every boy is on his own timeline, and puberty isn’t a race. Help him embrace the journey. Be in his corner.

Movember reminds us to take men’s physical, emotional, and social health seriously.But that conversation doesn’t start i...
11/11/2025

Movember reminds us to take men’s physical, emotional, and social health seriously.

But that conversation doesn’t start in adulthood; it begins in childhood and early adolescence.

✅ Teaching boys to care for their growing and changing bodies

✅ Showing them how to notice changes

✅ Talking honestly about feelings and how to best express and manage them

These early talks can help prevent serious issues later on in the teen and young adult years.

You don’t need special training to start this.

You just need to be the trusted adult who shows up and says: “Let’s talk.”

Grow awareness, not just mustaches.

Another BIG Talk for Boys this past weekend...this time in Point Loma. Yes, we bravely battled through the daylight savi...
11/06/2025

Another BIG Talk for Boys this past weekend...this time in Point Loma. Yes, we bravely battled through the daylight savings/time change fatigue and made it out in one piece! 

As usual, the boys were engaged and inquisitive. I'm always honored to help educate the boys and facilitate ongoing conversations between them and their parents and trusted adults. Good job by you, boys!

Wow indeed!! Camp Hope California gives a HUGE shoutout to Tommy, a 6th-grader at Del Mar Heights School, who nominated ...
11/03/2025

Wow indeed!! Camp Hope California gives a HUGE shoutout to Tommy, a 6th-grader at Del Mar Heights School, who nominated CHC to be the focus of his school’s official fall fundraising campaign. And we just received word that Tommy’s efforts were successful, and CHC is going to be at the center of the fall campaign. We can’t be more proud, grateful, and excited by this news. Tommy will get to announce this to the school over the PA system next week and will have donation jars in classrooms throughout the school. His efforts are inspiring and have energized CHC as we enter our fall/early winter fundraising campaign. Keep an eye out for more info on how to donate to CHC as the weeks pass, since your donations are what helps keep Camp Hope California open and available for grieving families. Our recently-completed October camp is a testament to this (stay tuned for lots of posts and info on how our October camp went). And, of course, way to go, Tommy!!!!!!!!!

This Halloween, let’s talk about what’s really haunting.Not ghosts.But the silence that surrounds boys growing up.Boys a...
10/31/2025

This Halloween, let’s talk about what’s really haunting.
Not ghosts.

But the silence that surrounds boys growing up.

Boys are often expected to “man up” before they even understand what it means to be a man.

They’re facing body changes, social pressure, emotional turmoil, and doing it alone.

→ No trusted adult to explain what’s happening.
→ No safe space to ask questions.
→ Only TikTok, Reddit, or a quiet shame to guide them.

That’s the real horror.

This season, be the adult who says something.

Who normalizes real conversation.

Who gives boys the truth before the world gives them confusion.

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San Diego, CA
92130

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