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Riva Jenkins

Create the change you desire in your life with Raising Alcheme through a unique blend of reiki, hypn

04/27/2023

I’ve been thinking a lot of about choices lately. Especially situations where I felt there was no choice, when really there is always a choice.

Someone recommended this book and I’ve been enjoying it at a slow pace, hopping from section to section. Gradually letting go of the idea that completion is the most important part.

“An Oracle does not give you instructions about what to do next, nor does it predict future events. An Oracle points your attention towards those hidden fears and motivations that will shape your future by their unfelt presence within each present moment. Once seen and recognized, these elements become absorbed into the realm of choice.

Oracles do not absolve you of the responsibility for selecting your future, but rather direct your attention towards inner choices that may be the most important elements in determining that future.”

03/06/2023

If I was underwhelmed at day 40 of this kriya, making it to day 90 was a complete 180. It snuck up on me and amplified this wave of inner change that still reverberates.

It seems so dramatic to say my whole understanding of reality disappeared underneath my feet, but it did. Then a few days later, it was as if it never happened, even though everything looked and felt different.

Healing came my way from all directions and in all sorts of ways. Sometimes I sought it out, other times it was thrust upon me like a blanket of compassion and understanding that I’ve never quite received before. There was a lot of feeling completely exposed, and even more “WTF is happening!?!”

I was apprehensive, that usually came first, followed by confusion, then usually landing on excitement. There were periods where I was ready to tap out, thinking this is just too much change…I didn’t.

When I asked if we were going to 120 days, I secretly wanted her to say we were stoping, even though it would feel so incomplete to stop at 90 days. So we’re going to 120. I’ve decided to wish big on the next 30 days, even though I know that often, what I wish for comes packaged a bit differently and forces me to leave, recognize, or change the status quo.

,

03/05/2023

I love stories, especially when told by strangers. Where one sentence can open this fleeting window of familiarity.

A few weeks ago, a question about a sandwich led to a run down of how to a condition I can’t remember the name of, started a journey of eliminating foods that create inflammation in the body. When he shared that his last colonoscopy showed great improvement, I too was caught up in the joy and triumph of this happy ending.

Yesterday, as I looked for somewhere to sit in a crowded coffee shop, I gave up and accepted that there wasn’t one,when the owner cleared off the back of counter, an area usually reserved for staff, for me to sit. A casual comment about how the energy of the place completely changed after all the people filtered out, led to story of how that shop came to be 6 years ago.

A plan to open a dispensary that got derailed, and the idea of opening a coffee shop in jest that quickly turned into a reality. A story of a $10,000 rental credit and faking it until you make it, of creating a space that seemed to be a pretty close reflection of himself.

I had expected my flat white to be mediocre since it was in a paper cup. It wasn’t, it was some of the best coffee I’ve had recently, and to hear that he is aiming for even more refinement for a coffee that was already pretty awesome was inspiring.

A story that was so easily told without ego that made me contemplate how can I do or create something that is a true reflection of who I am.

And I feel there is so much more to this story. His girlfriend or wife came in mid-conversation, they had such an easy intimacy with each other that I felt that I should look away and turn back to my book. It made me so curious to hear that story. The story of them meeting, of going through this experience together, of a shared life. I think that we often draw to us the thing that balances, reflects, or supports us. It made me curious to find out more.

But that’s the thing with these sorts of stories. You usually only hear a small snippet and are left to wonder about what came before or after.

02/25/2023

A night in reverse…….when a rotating fireplace entrance, reserve cocktails, and a beautiful egg white experience can’t come anywhere close to competing with a conversation full of shock, awe, delight, and the best familiar feeling.

And I must say, hearing myself refer to something as spirit forward as a way of communicating preferences made me feel just a little bit do***ey, or kind of a lot do***ey. Is this who I’m turning into? Yeah, I don’t think I want to do that again 😂

02/17/2023

Most mornings I will make myself a cup of coffee before I start work. Sometimes I look to find meaning in the way the milk pours into the coffee, but most mornings I just take a picture that I don’t really come back to.

I’m always looking for reasons or meaning from all sorts of things besides myself. And as cliche as it might sound, going inwards has allowed me to see the big blaring signs in front of me or the pieces that have finally started to reveal themselves from all the waves of healing, tirelessly pulling back layer, after layer, after layer, after layer.

They say the whole healing thing never really stops, but sometimes I get tired of all the change, and the adjusting, and the uncomfortable realizations…and the accountability that can be a real punch to the gut.

In part, the exhaustion comes from trying to get to an end goal that doesn’t really exist. I do my best to gently remind myself that it is okay to just be where I am right now, as I am…but my natural instinct is to judge myself for judging myself and circle back to the beginning again.

Sometimes I have my coffee and think, ohhhh…this might be my best yet, or that I really missed the mark with this one. Most often they are somewhere in between. A small thing my that brings a bit of comfort and happiness to help me override the little bit of dread I feel when I turn on my computer and get swept up in the list of things that never end. ✨☕️✨

01/20/2023

Expectations…sometimes I’m absolutely sure I can see everything I want coming towards me, and maybe if I squint real hard and believe it enough, it’ll show up.

I struggle with holding hope/allowing the possibility of something, and creating an absolute course of action, response or a physical tangible thing in my mind that needs to happen. I can convince myself that this makes a difference, this makes everything better. Even if it’s only for a little while.

I finished my 40 day commitment to doing the kriya for elevation. I was expecting some big shift or realization. The 40th day came and went and I kept waiting for this big thing that never showed up.

So I sat with it a bit…this is the first time in a long time that I’ve actually committed to something that I didn’t allow myself to be distracted, and that feels really good.

There is this part of me that is growing and growing and pointing me to the next step forward whenever I’m not sure. It also sometimes slaps me in the face to get me to course correct when I’ve willingly put my blinders on. Maybe showing up each morning helps with that.

I’ve kept going to see what 90 days feels like. This time around, maybe just letting myself receive whatever decides to show up, and not holding on to any expectations.

12/31/2022

The last day of May, I walked out of my front door to find this car directly in my path. The windows were down with no driver to be seen, and the sidewalks completely empty.

A car I had never seen in my neighborhood, that seemed so out of place, as if it was placed there just for me to come across. I think I was maybe running late for an appointment or had somewhere to be, and had forgotten something inside. When I came back out, the car was gone, and all that was left was this picture.

This morning while walking towards the edge of Balboa park, this car drove past me, or at least a car that looked just like this one. And it felt very special to somehow see this car on the eve of a new year.

Normally I would take this as some sort of sign or look for some deeper meaning, but maybe, sometimes, a beautiful, shiny, unexpected thing comes across my path just to be appreciated and enjoyed. And if I am ever lucky enough to catch it twice, it can simply be a sweet reminder of a surreal moment that I was gifted on the most ordinary of days.

12/28/2022

The greatest test of my newfound boundaries has definitely been dating apps. An absolute minefield to navigate using my best attempt at discernment with something that feels so not me. Shifting through profiles trying to gauge what is being presenting accurately.

Is this picture what they really look like? Am I being too critical? Why am I trying to talk myself into picking someone I’m not attracted to? How honest is this person being in their profile? How much will they bend the truth to get what they want?

Also, how accurate am I being? Is what I’m writing enough to give a snippet of who I truly am? What am I not saying? Am I saying too much? Did I just give someone a guide to manipulate me into believing we’re compatible?!

Most of the time, it kind of sucks. But there are those rare instances where someone does catch my interest by being something refreshingly unexpected amongst a sea of generic greetings.

And those are the times that s**t really goes down. They hold up a mirror to show me the things about myself that I don’t really think about, but are the reasons I caught their attention. Then it’s a process of sorting out if the baggage they come in with is compatible to the baggage I’m toting. Worse yet, they force me to confront all those parts that I thought were healed that are still a hot mess, or areas that I was completely blinded to that need addressing.

It can be emotionally exhausting, especially when I tend to get wrapped up in the newness of hearing the details of someone else’s life, or in seeing how someone’s brain processes things totally different than mine in some areas, and similarly in others. I get a glimpse into the most beautiful bits of someone that I probably never would have come across in person.

Then there’s the flip side of seeing red flags and gladly ignoring them because it feels so good to have a sense of connection, or trying to figure out what is the tipping point to just bring things to an end.

But I keep showing up because it kind of feels like the only game in town. And there a part of me that thinks I could miss out on something great if stay in my cozy little hermit hole.

12/23/2022

My holiday cocktail quest has been an exercise in tempering expectations. A winding road of highs and lows.

The biggest lessons have been:
1. Glassware matters. A beautiful weighty glass will almost always hold a thoughtfully crafted cocktail that does not disappoint.
2. Don’t put hot drinks in thin glasses, it’s dangerous, and cold drinks in mugs is just confusing.
3. Just because something is limited, doesn’t mean that I should choose it.
4. I still don’t like crowds and definitely won’t wait in line to be surrounded by one.

Tonight I end up coming across this Botanica Omakase and it was the most delightful surprise of the season because it was so unexpected. As someone who likes to leave things up to chance, this was perfect pairing and the perfect ending to my holiday search.

12/22/2022

On this Winter Solstice I pulled a card for guidance and was led to Saint Lucy, the patron saint of the blind. So appropriate for the clarity I have been seeking.

I was redirected from my desire to manifest the spark of abundant beginnings, to devotion. When I am not clear about where I am or where I’m going, my go-to is to focus all my energy on manifesting quick results, things that provide immediate relief, and are often short-lived.

So on this longest night, I chose devotion to be my path to honoring the spark waiting to ignite within me. Small acts of devotion to my body, to my spirit, to the life I want to create. I don’t know what that quite looks like, but I know each day my vision will get a little clearer.

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San Diego, CA

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Monday	6pm - 9pm
Tuesday	6pm - 9pm
Friday	6pm - 9pm
Saturday	9am - 2pm
Sunday	9am - 2pm

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+16195480181

Website

http://www.raisingalcheme.com/

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