Compassionate Heart Couples Counseling. With Julie Kyker, MFT

05/19/2020

Often in therapy, I'll invite a client to tune in to their body sensations/their feelings/their emotions...and they won't want to. "Why would I want to feel sad?"

I know the freedom that comes with feeling all the feels. I hadn't ever envisioned the freedom that Michael describes in this video, and I love it.

He is saying that if everyone fully felt their emotions, we would all feel our connections and the consequences of our actions on ourselves and on others. As a result we would no longer need laws to control behavior because we would be immediately connected to the consequences. Now that's a freedom (and peacefulness) I would love.

In a conversation filmed in Spain, Michael Brown shares with us how feeling is the next step in the evolution of human consciousness. To be joyous doesn't me...

04/20/2020

Hi all...

I'm working on an online offering and doing some research and need some help.

If you or anyone you know is engaged, in your first 2 - 5 years of marriage, or recently moved in together I would love it if you would take this brief survey (or share with someone you know who fits the criteria).

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GV2NJ2L

Thank you in advance!!

Take this survey powered by surveymonkey.com. Create your own surveys for free.

04/19/2020

I know we all have opinions about how our leaders should be handling our collective response to the current pandemic (and how individuals should respond).

Unfortunately, many/most people are reacting vs responding. To understand how automatic human bias' work is the beginning of your own ability to look within and become more aware of your own reactions/responses.

I can accept my own shortfalls a lot easier when I understand that it is a very "human" condition. The more aware I am of the human condition, the more aware I can become of my own unique reactions, and then think more critically about my response to the situation.

This article really helps understand humans better, building in a bit more compassion for others (those that are behaving in less than ideal ways) as well as compassion for myself.

The current pandemic has affected some countries more than others, partly because they have been slow to react to the crisis. That, it turns out, is a very human response.

04/09/2020

"In general, resilient people have intensely negative reactions to trauma. They experience despair and stress, and acknowledge the horror of what’s happening. But even in the darkest of places, they see glimmers of light, and this ultimately sustains them.

But even more than helping them cope, adopting the spirit of tragic optimism enables people to actually grow through adversity."

I'm witnessing this in action through my work with clients right now. And, also, observing my own emotions and reactions.

If you need support in coping or growing and transforming through this challenge, please reach out to a therapist. This is an incredible opportunity for transformational growth right now.

Why cultivating “tragic optimism” will help us weather this crisis — and even grow from it.

04/01/2020

Please join Lisa Graff-Marsh and me as we offer this gift to you. We want to help you balance your emotions while feeling more connected to an important person in your life. We want to connect with you!

We will offer a description of the tool and then demonstrate how it works.

03/28/2020

As I've been working with my clients over the last couple weeks, I've been supporting them in naming all their feelings. This is helpful and calming. Humanity is grieving deeply right now. And it's okay AND important to allow yourself to grieve. XO

Psychologists say that what a lot of us are feeling these days is, in fact, a form of grief. Here's how to honor that feeling and regain equilibrium as we face an unknown future.

03/23/2020

Helpful hints for self isolation!

Chris provides four useful steps to productive self-isolation

01/17/2020

Always working with me to feel my emotions... and supporting my clients to feel, name and share their emotions as well.

I know I feel more solidly myself as I do. And so do my clients.

Here's what to do about it

05/12/2019

Sending love to ALL self-identified women today. And everyone that has a mom.

Sending love:

To those of you in celebratory mood, and also those of you in pain today b/c the day reminds you of loss.

To those of you who are non-mothers and wish you were. To those of you non-mothers who "mother" in other ways.

To all of you who are happy to celebrate your mom(s). And to those of you who are reminded that you had a difficult mom and are sad about that.

To all of you who are missing your mom and sad she is not present with you.

To all the step-moms who mother but aren't the "real" mom.

I celebrate and honor your mom energy...that nurturing, loving, warm hug, unconditional love, wanting the best for for your loved ones energy. That energy that we all long for at some level. The never ending nurturing bountiful love like mother earth offers us.

And I honor and appreciate all of you who offer your mom energy in your very human, often falling short but trying really hard kind of way.

Thank you for being the very mom that you are right now.

04/12/2019

This is a beautiful song with movement. I see resilience in my office every day, between with couples and also the resilience that humans have to survive some really tough experiences...and yet keep on living and loving their best way possible.

Directors- Chloe Smith and Leah Song Cinematographer/Editor- Alex Allaux Movement Director- Justin Conte Dancers- Amy Secada, Quentin Robinson (IAMSpecialFX)...

02/14/2019

It is the eve of Valentines Day... one of my favorite days of the year because it is a day to celebrate love. And I love love! I love love in ALL its forms, and I celebrate love every day.

Valentines Day can create stress, sadness, aloneness, joy, surprise... so many things. I encourage couples to celebrate their love over the weekend when there is more space and time for it!

Single folks... celebrate the love of your friends, family, whoever you want to.

When people call me for help in their relationships, they often tell me they want to "communicate better" and/or "rebuild trust" in their relationship.

While I help couples communicate better (and not by teaching communication skills... there is a better way). The process we go through helps rebuild trust as well. I love this 20 minute talk from Brene Brown about trust. You'll hear about how trust is built through the "little things", not the grand gestures of Valentines Day blow out romance.

While I'm single, I find it's important to have trust building rituals with my friends and family too. I'm practicing reaching out more to those that are going through rough patches, especially grief and loss. I want them to know I'm thinking about them and make myself available to listen.

Do you have any little connection/trust building rituals that you do with a loved one? Please share here, I'd love to hear about it!

https://brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/