Gay Therapy Center

04/03/2026

The answer is through exploration of fantasy with your partner based on your own core erotic themes.

This is not easy for many people to do. Your partner has great power to hurt you. We risk being belittled for our fantasies, or having them ignored. That's why poor communication skills often lead to poor s*x.

If you and your partner are not good at supporting each other with your words and actions then it's difficult to imagine a productive conversation about something as vulnerable as s*x. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2013/01/gay-therapist-explains-what-keeps-s*x-exciting-in-gay-relationships https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2013/01/gay-therapist-explains-what-keeps-s*x-exciting-in-gay-relationships

04/03/2026

“I don’t want to be selfish.”

When I hear this statement in my psychotherapy practice, I get suspicious.

Often it is code for “I’m afraid of expressing my needs.”

Here’s the thing about our needs: it feels so good when they get validated by others. Maybe this blog post will inspire you to pay a little more attention to them.

https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2015/5/gay-therapist-stop-worrying-about-being-selfish

04/02/2026

There’s a big role for babies in our relationships with our partners and with ourselves. Tapping into your inner baby is a really useful tool in managing life’s challenges.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2014/02/gay-psychotherapy-in-defense-of-baby-talk

04/01/2026

M**h has long been associated with gay men. The lost inhibitions induced by the drug are in such contradiction to the lifetime of suppression that most gay men have to adopt, that the appeal is magnetic. Growing up in a largely homophobic society, we can’t help but develop with feelings of shame about who we are, and even internalized homophobia. So when something can come along and literally strip away those feelings of shame, sadness, not feeling good enough, repression, isolation, etc., it’s no wonder that it’s hard to stop it.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2017/16/gay-men-and-crystal-meth

04/01/2026

Join Gay Therapy Center Founder and Director Adam Blum for a conversation on gay men and their mothers. In this video, Adam is talking to Rick Miller, who is the founder and executive director of Gay Sons and Mothers. This organization does research on this important relationship. Rick is also a well-known psychotherapist in Boston and has written several books about gay men.

Adam and Rick discuss the themes that Rick has found in his research, how he came to be interested in this research, masculinity + femininity as a gay man, what makes a good mother, the romanticism of gay men and their mothers, the trauma of rejection, divas, beauty and aesthetics, and Rick’s nonprofit where he does his research.

Watch the video here:

For more tips about gay family relationships, visit our website: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/Join Gay Therapy Center Founder and Director Adam Blum ...

03/31/2026

Why do you always hear that it’s important to come out?

The reason is that it is very hard to love yourself fully when you hide. And it’s very hard to love others when you don’t love yourself. Therefore, the closet is lonely. No one loves you there.

Authenticity is the foundation of all closeness.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/4/why-coming-out-is-important-even-after-youve-come-out

03/31/2026

In other words, 93% of communication is through your facial expression and tone of voice.

All that is lost in a text or email. We only read the perceived slight and ignore the rest. With so little information, we fill in blanks and assume the worst. This is human nature. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2015/02/gay-therapist-gay-men-and-texting

03/30/2026

Do you find yourself repeating the pattern of dating guys who aren’t nice people? Why do you keep doing that?
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2014/12/gay-therapist-why-do-i-choose-mean-gay-guys

03/29/2026

"Ghosting is avoidance driven by a fear of confrontation. We may tell ourselves that it is nicer not to tell someone that we don’t have chemistry. In reality, being ghosted hurts a lot more than the truth.

Why do we hurt others? Because we have our own hurts that we want to avoid. When we are feeling good about ourselves we rarely intentionally hurt people. Our compassion and kindness flows from how we are feeling about ourselves"

Read more on why we ghost & how to deal with it, from GTC Founder Adam Blum, here:

LGBTQ people have learned to be experts in hiding. We had to hide to survive, and ghosting is hiding.

03/28/2026

Want to know more about our services? Read what over 500 people have said about our work here: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/testimonials/

03/27/2026

Communication works much better with structure. You take turns one person speaks from the "I" position and shares what he knows about his own feelings on a subject for a minute or two. The other person listens without speaking at all. Then the listener reflects back what he heard his partner say. This feedback gives the talker the opportunity to say, "Yes, you heard me" or, "You heard most of what I said but I think you may have missed this part."

Then you switch roles.

It may sound easy, but it takes practice. The listener will often find himself triggered by what the speaker is saying and then he'll stop listening. So it can take some time to learn to keep coming back to really hear your partner. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2012/06/gay-couples-counseling-how-to-talk-about-the-tough-subjects

03/27/2026

Dear Adam,

My boyfriend surfs the web while we watch TV together, never comes up with a plan for the weekend, and spends way too much time thinking about work. Otherwise he’s a good guy and I’m lucky to have him. But I’m afraid if I bring these issues up I’ll push him away or hurt him. How can I get him to pay me more attention?

Signed,
Annoyed in Akron https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2013/10/gay-psychologist-does-your-gay-boyfriend-ignore-you