03/11/2026
– Why “just enough” is so hard to maintain
– Stop the chronic undereating
– Story time
There was a time when I hated being early.
If I arrived somewhere ahead of schedule and had to wait around, I felt an odd mix of anxiety and embarrassment, like I was doing something wrong just by being there too soon.
I didn’t have language for it back then, but being early made me feel exposed and uncomfortable.
So I did what made sense at the time: I tried to arrive exactly on time.
The result? I was habitually late.
Somehow, it was easier for me to tolerate the mild shame of lateness than the nervous discomfort of being early.
Lateness became my workaround.
Not ideal, but predictable.
Eventually, the problems with chronic tardiness became hard to ignore.
I genuinely wanted to be on time.
And that meant facing the thing I’d been avoiding all along.
I had to get comfortable with being early.
Now let’s talk about eating.
Imagine someone with a strong fear of “eating too much.” The worry that they’ve eaten more than they should, or the shame that comes with even mild fullness, creates a powerful drive to eat only the right amount.
Just enough.
And here’s the parallel.
Just as it’s nearly impossible to arrive exactly on time to everything, it’s nearly impossible to always eat the exact right amount for your body, day after day.
So what happens?
In the effort to avoid fullness, discomfort, or self-criticism, the person consistently undershoots. What looks like “careful eating” from the outside often turns into chronic undereating.
Over time, that pattern can start to feel normal, or even virtuous. Undereating becomes a badge of discipline, an identity, or a quirky “this is just how I am” story. Much like chronic lateness can get framed as a personality trait rather than a strategy for avoiding discomfort.
In both cases, there’s usually something quieter happening underneath.
A part of you is working very hard to avoid difficult feelings.
And because being perfectly on time, or eating the perfect amount, is so hard to sustain, you end up with a self-created problem that keeps repeating itself.
The way out isn’t precision.
It’s flexibility.
Just as learning to be on time required me to tolerate being early, learning to nourish your body often requires tolerating a little more fullness than feels comfortable at first.
Not because fullness is the goal, but because avoiding it at all costs subtly creates a different kind of suffering.
Sometimes real change comes not from doing things exactly right, but from allowing a bit more room than we think we’re allowed.
And learning that we can handle the feelings we’ve been running from all along.
