The New Happy

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03/16/2026

Have you ever had a small setback or stressor ruin your day? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent study, researchers found that the longer that you ‘hold on’ to the negative experience of the stressor in your mind, the more likely it is that you are going to have a day where you feel more unhappiness and stress.

The solution is paradoxical: you need to let yourself feel any emotions that were caused by the stressor. Try to label your emotions (irritation, frustration, disbelief, etc.) Acknowledge the red of it all, refraining from beating yourself up for whatever happened — experiencing small stressors is just an inevitable reality of being a human.

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02/27/2026

We are not meant to go through this life alone. Nothing makes that clearer than seeing what happens when we share our joy and our sorrow.

What joy have you felt recently, and have you shared it with someone?
What pain have you felt recently, and have you shared it with someone?

If the answer is no, reach out to someone and let them in: everything is better when it is shared.

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02/25/2026

There are no overnight transformations.

Here’s what change really looks like: having flashes of insight, forgetting what you just learned, struggling to practice, being tested in challenging circumstances, feeling like you’re taking a massive step back, and wondering if you’re going in the right direction.

You might beat yourself up for this, believing that there is something wrong with you and the way you’re approaching your goals. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you—this is just exactly change works. Keep going ❤️

02/23/2026

It’s not because you’re lazy. �It’s not because you’re flawed. �It’s not because you’re unable to do it.

You’re procrastinating because the task you’re trying to do is bringing up uncomfortable emotions that you really, really want to avoid.

Research on procrastination has found that there are usually three causes, often interrelated:
* You are afraid of failing at the task.
* The task is unappealing.
* The task is overwhelming.

These are all incredibly uncomfortable emotions! Fear, unpleasantness, and uncertainty are all experiences we would prefer to avoid.

This task has become associated with these emotions, leading you to want to run away from it, as far as you can in the opposite direction —where there are hopefully some better feelings waiting for you.

Unfortunately, as every procrastinator knows, the farther you run from the task, the more those uncomfortable emotions tend to grow... and grow... and grow... until a simple task can feel downright impossible.

Instead, you have to practice facing the emotions surrounding the task. More in today's newsletter: https://www.thenewhappy.com/blog/what-to-do-procrastinating

02/22/2026

Our society defines a ‘good’ relationship as the relationship that lasts the longest, even if both parties are unhappy and unfulfilled in it. With a bit of distance from our conditioning, we can see that this is both illogical and harmful. First of all, there’s no law that says a ‘good’ relationship has to last forever. Second, how can anything be good when it’s creating pain for everyone involved?

A good relationship is, at its core, something that helps those involved to grow, find joy, and become better people. Sometimes, these relationships last for a long time. Sometimes, these relationships are briefer. Either way, they can be good ones.

02/18/2026

Experiencing or witnessing suffering has the ability to change us in one of two ways. It can make us more compassionate, more accepting, and more courageous versions of ourselves.

Or it can do the opposite, turning us into cynical, hardened, apathetic versions of ourselves.

You must fight this urge and instead, hold onto your humanity, for that is what is most needed in the world right now.

02/17/2026

You might be feeling down because things aren’t going the way you want to. You might be looking back on changes that you made “too late” and beating yourself up for it. You might be wondering why it feels so hard to change, even when you know you need to.

Here’s the truth: change is hard, it takes time, and it requires courage.

It’s hard to accept that something isn’t working-especially when it’s something that you really, really wanted to work.

It takes time to come to terms with the difference between your hoped-for outcome and reality. Often, the only way to do this is to go through the experience again and again, until you finally truly see: no, this is not working or you.

And once you have realized that you need to make a change, it requires courage to actually do it and patience to actually see the impact in your life.

Be gentle with yourself as you transform.

02/12/2026

No one owns the world: there’s no one person who will save us, or make it all better, or fix our problems.

We share the world: that means we also share the responsibility of making it better.

It’s on us. To come together and, every day, nudge the world in a better direction. To create a world of hope, compassion, and acceptance. And there’s so many ways to do that.

We can show up for each other when we’re struggling.
We can reach out and lift other people up.
We can speak up.
We can hold those in power accountable.
We can fight for progress.
We can refuse to accept the status quo.
We can make brave and hopeful choices.
We can cultivate love in our hearts, and share it with those who we meet every day.
We can make decisions with positive ripple effects.
We can give more than we take.
We can seek out beauty and love and joy, to remind us what we’re preserving.

02/04/2026

t some point this week, you’re going to have an emotional reaction to an event in your life. That’s okay. That’s what humans do: we feel things.

But what humans can also do, though, is learn about how to respond to these feelings in a wiser, more compassionate way, one that both helps us and helps others to experience more happiness.

It’s a simple two-step process: 1) Honor and accept your reaction; and 2) Look at your reaction from other perspectives. For more, download our free New Happy stress guide, with 60 science backed strategies to help you feel better now: thenewhappy.com/stress-guide

02/02/2026

“I’m too old.”
“I can’t try that now.”
“I missed my chance.”

Stop telling yourself these stories. It’s not too late for you. At any moment, you can make a new choice—a choice that has the power to change everything. And it starts by saying to yourself:

“I’m ready to do this.”
“I can try it and see what happens.”
“This moment is my chance.”

01/29/2026

Everyone feels discouraged sometimes.

But that feeling of discouragement is not a sign that you should give up—it’s a sign that you should ask for support from someone who believes in you!

You need someone to remind you of who you really are. Of your unique strengths and of your talents. Of your hopes and passions. Of the reason that you started pursuing this goal in the first place.

Don’t give up—ask for support instead.

01/28/2026

There’s a sequence you’ve seen play out millions of times in your own life: An event or thought occurs → An emotion results.

For example:
Your friends leave you out → you feel rejected.
You lose your job → you feel afraid.
You are criticized → you feel shame.
You witness devastating world events → you feel helpless.

When we witness someone else who is suffering, we make one mistake again and again. We judge that arrow: why an event led to an emotion. Here’s what that sounds like:
“I wouldn’t react like that.”
“Why hasn’t she gotten over that yet?”
“She should just be grateful things aren’t worse.”
“This shouldn’t make you so upset.”
“You don’t have anything to be depressed or anxious about.”
“Compared to other people, your pain is not a big deal. Snap out of it.”

Judgment will never help alleviate pain; only empathy and compassion can do that. To tap into these qualities, we need to focus on the emotion that the other person is feeling.

Because the truth is that, while our experiences vary so greatly, our emotions are strikingly similar to one another. Pain is pain is pain; jealousy is jealousy is jealousy; anger is anger is anger. Believe it or not, your worst enemy has felt the grief you’re feeling now. Your horrible boss has been consumed with anxiety, too. We can bond over our shared experience of the emotion without ever judging why they feel this way or don’t feel that way.

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