12/04/2025
One of the most common questions therapists ask on our Q&A calls is:
“What am I tracking? Their system, mine, or both?"
It’s a question almost all of us have quietly wrestled with (or still are), especially when they’re working with clients who move into collapse, panic, or shame.
Sometimes you feel sensations rise in your own body: tightness in the chest, heaviness in the stomach, pressure behind the eyes. And you’re not sure:
“Is this me? Or am I feeling them?"
And in those moments, it’s easy to lose your anchor. It’s easy to lose Self-energy. It’s easy to slip into managing, fixing, or withdrawing.
So how do we stay present when we feel our client's overwhelm in our own bodies?
It's not incompetence. It's “not being skilled enough.”
This is what happens when our own protectors come online in response to what’s happening in the room.
IFS gives us a way to understand this AND a way through.
When you can tell the difference between *your* parts and *your client’s* parts…
When you learn to track your nervous system with the same compassion and clarity you offer them…
When you can notice activation and gently step back into Self…
The whole session shifts.
You stop absorbing their overwhelm and start witnessing it.
You stop blending with their protector and start speaking directly to it.
You stop losing yourself and start leading from a grounded, regulated place.
This is why therapists feel so burned out. Not because they’re doing too much, but because their internal system is working overtime without support.
IFS gives you a map. It helps you stay oriented. It helps you recognize, “Oh, this is a part of me. And I can be with it.”
If you’re wanting to feel clearer in sessions, less overwhelmed by your clients’ systems, and more confident tracking what’s happening moment-to-moment, I’m teaching a webinar where we’ll go deep into this.
A space to learn the skills that help you stay resourced, and help your clients transform.
I’d love for you to join us. Check the details in the comments.
