Fiachra Figs O'Sullivan Couples Counseling

04/03/2023

11/15/2020

One bit of advice that has emerged from the last 50 years of the personal development movement is to ask for our needs to be met.

As a therapist, this drives me crazy.

Of course, it’s not the asking that’s bad. It’s the how of it that mucks it all up. Because in the very moment you’re inspired to ask another to adjust their way of being in the world, you are probably behaving in a threatened/threatening way that is not easy to hear or empathize with. You are more likely to make things worse.

How do you communicate a desire for change?

Start by sharing your experience.

Continue reading here: https://media.empathi.com/stop-asking-for-your-needs/

11/13/2020

We have spent the last 6 years doing the bifurcated sleep thing. Basically having two separate sleep periods per night. It really worked for us... until it stopped working for us.

It was awesome while our first sleep, we would all go to bed together as a family around 8pm, felt more like a long and nourishing nap. Then Teale and I would get up around 10pm, clean the kitchen, fold laundry, have a chat, watch a show, and often wrestle. Teale is a great wrestler. She is relentless and always wins. Then around midnight, we would go back to bed and sleep till 7am.

But over time our first sleep started to feel more like our deepest sleep. I was staying asleep longer and feeling more and more groggy getting up at 11pm. Then staying up till 2 in the morning.

So, as is true in life in so many ways, it was working until it wasn’t working.

Oh well.

So we are 3 days into switching it up. We now still all go to bed together as a family around 8pm. Teale and I sleep through the night. Yes, a bit of restlessness around midnight. But then we have been getting up together at 5:30am and working on creative projects together.

We are about to relaunch our podcast. It is so great to have an alert and uninterrupted hour or so in the morning to collaborate before the kids get up.
So I think this early rising thing is a winner...until maybe this too will cease to work. Then we will have to change it up again.

04/27/2020

Your relationship is a major source of comfort right now. Right?

Is love sometimes a mess? ... Does a bear skip in the woods?

04/10/2020

Proven and Effective Help for Anyone Who Gives a Sh*t About Their Relationship!

02/18/2020

Do you ever get your feelings hurt and then frantically try to blame someone or something for your pain? It’d be a miracle if you didn’t … because WE ALL DO IT!

11/16/2019

My latest podcast interview. Check it out. I really like this one.

‎Show Too Tired to be Crazy, Ep Are You Emotionally Unavailable? W/ Empathy Therapist Figs - Nov 14, 2019