Michael Halyard, Psychotherapist

11/04/2025

“Self-abandonment” refers to the pattern of neglecting your own needs, feelings, or values in order to please others, avoid conflict, or meet external expectations. It’s a psychological and emotional behavior that often develops over time—usually from early life experiences, trauma, or conditioning that taught a person their needs were less important.

Here’s a deeper look:

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💭 What Self-Abandonment Looks Like

You might be engaging in self-abandonment if you often:
• Say “yes” when you really mean “no.”
• Suppress emotions like anger, sadness, or fear to appear “okay.”
• Constantly seek validation or approval from others.
• Feel guilty for resting, setting boundaries, or prioritizing yourself.
• Ignore your physical, emotional, or spiritual needs.
• Criticize or shame yourself for not being “good enough.”

Over time, this can lead to burnout, resentment, anxiety, depression, or a feeling of disconnection from who you truly are.

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🧠 Why It Happens

Self-abandonment often has roots in:
• Childhood experiences — Growing up in environments where your feelings or needs were dismissed or punished.
• People-pleasing conditioning — Learning that love or safety depends on keeping others happy.
• Trauma or emotional neglect — Believing your needs are too much or unworthy of attention.
• Cultural or social expectations — Especially in societies that glorify self-sacrifice or productivity over well-being.

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💖 Healing from Self-Abandonment

Recovery involves learning to reestablish a relationship with yourself:
1. Self-awareness: Notice when you dismiss or invalidate your own emotions.
2. Inner validation: Remind yourself your feelings and needs are real and important.
3. Boundaries: Start setting small, healthy boundaries—even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
4. Self-care: Practice nurturing habits (rest, creativity, movement, solitude).
5. Inner child work: Reconnect with the parts of you that were hurt or silenced.
6. Therapy or support groups: A safe space helps break old patterns and build self-trust.

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11/03/2025

I don't believe I could ever hate anyone I've genuinely loved -family or friend. I could not attack anyone I've ever gone out of my way to protect.

No matter what factors and emotions are involved or if my ego gets bruised and my heart gets broken in the process. My love for them is still there underneath it all.

For me, it was never transactional; it was always unconditional.

Whether they realized and appreciated that fact or not.

It doesn't matter what they do or say, how much they hurt me, or if their actions show they don't see, value, or love me to the extent I do for them. I won't argue, prove myself, or get out of character. I'll just get out of the way. It's not that I don't find them worthy enough to fight for. It is because I accept the difference between fighting for the bonds and people you love,
as well as understanding and accepting when they are willingly fighting against you.

Even if they break me into pieces, I know it will hurt me more if I shatter them in any way because I don't want to hurt them.

So, I've learned to love people from a distance and speak life over them, even if I know that energy is not reciprocated towards me, or my separation is not understood.

Discernment taught me and continues to reveal that those hurting you are only hurt people within themselves.

When the time comes that they want to heal from within, I don't want any harsh or hurtful words I once spoke to lead them to think I won't be a safe space to help or support their healing.

From “The Freedom of Forward”

10/29/2025

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**Children of highly narcissistic parents who don’t become extra narcissists themselves, but instead grow into highly sensitive, honest, and intuitive adults, are some of the strongest people to walk this earth.**

Their strength is quiet but unshakable. It is forged in fire, in the relentless emotional storms of a childhood where love was conditional, validation was scarce, and empathy was a foreign concept. They learn early on that the world doesn’t always see them, that their feelings can be dismissed, and that their truth can be twisted by those who should have protected them. Yet instead of becoming bitter or manipulative, they often grow into individuals who feel deeply, speak honestly, and understand the unspoken currents of human behavior.

Their intuition is honed like a finely sharpened blade. Years of navigating the unpredictable moods and manipulations of a narcissistic parent teach them to read between the lines, to sense dishonesty, and to detect insincerity before it strikes. They become hyper-aware, not because they want to, but because survival demanded it. And through this hard-won awareness, they cultivate empathy for others, patience in chaos, and wisdom beyond their years.

The irony is that their life is often devoted to healing wounds they never asked for. They spend countless hours untangling the emotional damage left behind, not only to reclaim their own peace but also to prevent passing trauma onto the next generation. Healing becomes their mission, their silent rebellion against the neglect, manipulation, and abuse they endured.

Yet despite the burden they carry, they rarely let it define them. Their sensitivity becomes a superpower, their honesty a shield, and their intuition a compass. These children of narcissistic parents often move through the world with an inner strength that few can comprehend, quietly shaping lives, relationships, and even communities with a depth of understanding that comes from having survived what many could not.

In the end, their resilience is both a testament to the human spirit and a reminder that sometimes, the greatest strength emerges not from privilege or ease, but from surviving and rising above what should have broken them.

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