Dr. Ermshar & Associates, Specialized Psychological Services

12/10/2025

The holiday season is upon us which brings busier schedules, more traffic, holiday preparations, and subsequently, the need for more self-care habits. According to a recent poll by the American Psychiatric Association, almost 1 in 3 Americans expects to be more stressed this holiday season when compared to last year. In anticipation of another holiday season, increased -care and planning is important to ensure a smooth and joyous holiday season. The goal is to both enjoy the holidays while also maintaining good mental health with minimal stress.

From a practical standpoint, there are the typical tips such as planning ahead, organizing, creating and sticking to a budget, and allowing adequate time for completing all related tasks and responsibilities. Also, a change of scenery by going outdoors can help shift our mindset from feeling stuck or unmotivated indoors, to appreciating nature, sunshine, and fresh air. But you may be asking, “what else can I do?”. While budgeting, planning, and making to-do lists can be useful tools for getting through the holiday season, revisiting how to prioritize mental health is even more important.

From a mental health perspective, the holidays can represent a period of conflicting emotions, including feeling excited, nostalgic, and happy, while also feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and drained. While each individual has unique circumstances and experiences that contribute to their own holiday emotions, there are many common themes that contribute to our mental health. Specifically, some holiday stressors include finances, strained family relationships, travel, and expectations for hosting, gift-giving, and creating the “perfect” holiday ambiance or . Whatever your holiday stressors may be, here are some mental health tips to consider.

It is helpful to set intentions for how to spend the holiday season. For example, intentionally choosing to be present and engaged while with and will make the best of the quality time together. This means reducing distractions and limiting the multi-tasking in order to try to be more fully present in the moment. When we are too frenzied, we miss the moments of ‘joy’ in the season.

Set boundaries with people who do not align with your goal of a stress-free holiday. This means establishing personal rules for how to interact with the difficult people in your life by advocating for your well-being, and learning to say “no” or gracefully decline any excessive demands from them that may contribute to your stress. Setting is an act of self-love to protect you, help you stay true to your goals, and limit the unwarranted stress from people we may have conflict with.

For many people, the holidays are a reminder of loss, loneliness, and grieving. If this is true for you, take the time to reflect and process your feelings. This can lead to a refocus on what really matters in this moment, what is in your control, and what you are still grateful for.

Since there is often an underlying expectation to do things better, bigger, and grander than each prior holiday season, it is a good reminder to modulate expectations and revisit the intrinsically valuable aspects that make the holiday season special. Let’s shift to focusing on quality time with loved ones, being more thoughtful, engaging in more meaningful conversations, and finding shared interests with others.

Lastly, holiday stress can be curbed by engaging in full acceptance of who we are and who we are not, meaning trying not to be something or someone we are not. As human beings, we are perfectly imperfect. The best we can do is to accept all the things that make us who we are. By accepting all of our own strengths and our shortcomings, we do not need to chase after trying to be someone else, trying to fill the gaps in our lives with holiday things, or looking for ways to distract from who we truly are. If you tend to be more introverted, do not try to cram every holiday party into your schedule. If you are very regimented in your diet and exercise, do not feel pressured to eat and drink all that is offered at every event. Do not bend who you are in order to fit the season.

In the spirit of this holiday season, let’s stay focused on the positive qualities of this time of year, stay mindful of our own mental health needs, take time to think about and respect the mental health needs of others, and show kindness when it looks like someone else is struggling. From my home to yours, may we all experience the magic of the season. “Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.” – Dr. Seuss

12/03/2025

Women, Bias, and Double Standards

Women have endured obstacles that are unique to and inherent with being female. Over decades of social change, women have gained access to many rights, roles, and opportunities that traditionally used to be reserved for their male counterparts. For instance, women have been granted more equal opportunities as business owners, executives, mentors, coaches, and other leadership roles compared to historical standards from even fifty years prior. There is also significantly more presence of females in male-dominated industries and professions like sports, politics, science industries, and companies. Likewise, there have also been shifts in traditional roles typically expected to be fulfilled by females, such as men who are full-time parents, caregivers, and who maintain the household duties, while more women are now the primary income for their household. These monumental shifts in gender roles have shown notable progress from the former limited conceptualizations of female roles and capabilities. Nonetheless, research and social observations have found that biases and double standards continue to persist about women in several domains.

With regard to bias, this represents an opinion, feeling, or inclination that is typically a preconceived notion or unreasoned. A double standard is a set of principles or morals that is applied differently or more strictly to one specific group of people or circumstances. These factors may be unintentionally learned and applied to women, and yet they reinforce the between beliefs and perceptions of men versus women. Some everyday examples would be to reference your boss without gender to an unknown individual, and a majority of the public assumes your boss is male. Additionally, a young girl with strong opinions can be referred to as bossy, whereas a male with the same characteristic can be referred to as assertive. An adolescent female may be told by an adult that she will make a good mother someday, and in contrast, an adolescent male is more commonly associated with potentially being a successful businessman. These contrasts can continue through adulthood such as assuming that a woman’s primary life goal is to have children, and a man’s primary life goal is to make money and be a provider. In the social and occupational domains, a leader viewed as strong and proactive is commonly associated with male figures, whereas these same traits exhibited by a woman may be perceived as overly demanding or unruly. There are also numerous double standards commonly applied to women, such as being expected to be confident yet not arrogant, take pride in yourself yet stay humble, compliant yet not too passive, assertive yet not too bold, take care of others but do not let yourself go, prioritize oneself yet not too self-centered, strong but not too overpowering, physically attractive yet stay modest, exhibit s*x appeal yet not too revealing, and engage in self-care yet not too over indulgent. These conflicting standards make it difficult to navigate the socially acceptable norms compared to being true to oneself without shame, guilt, or disingenuous actions.

From a research perspective, there are inherent biases against women with regard to leadership roles and executive work positions. For instance, a study wrote a fictitious biography about a CEO and the related success of the company. For the sake of the study, the bio had no mention of a name or gender, and participants were asked whether they thought the CEO was male or female. A total of 96% of participants assumed the CEO was male. Next, the two identical bios were assigned as either male or female, given to two new groups of participants, and they were asked to rate the CEO according to several leadership qualities. The female CEO bio was rated higher on both “agentic” and “communal” qualities, suggesting that people perceive that a female must have overcome more barriers to become CEO’s, and thus are more competent leaders than their male peers. In sum, in spite of the bias that women are not assumed to be in managerial or executive work roles, those who are may be perceived as very capable with strong leadership qualities.

These themes in note the importance of continuing to evolve the preconceived notions about women’s expectations, roles, and capabilities. In the workplace, women may be met with some resistance or discomfort regarding others’ biased perceptions based on gender roles. Women have overcome odds for decades with increasing social support, and awareness of the ongoing biases can help to break down barriers of the outdated standards instilled upon females across all aspects of life.
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12/02/2025

✨ Celebrate Generosity This Giving Tuesday ✨

Today is more than a day on the calendar - it’s a global celebration of kindness, compassion, and community. Giving Tuesday invites each of us to pause and ask: How can I make the world a little brighter today?
Generosity isn’t measured only in dollars. It’s reflected in the way we show up for one another -through the causes we support, the connections we nurture, and the small everyday actions that say “you matter.”

💙 If you’re able, consider giving to a charity or nonprofit that aligns with your values. Every contribution, big or small, fuels important work and strengthens the communities we care about.

💙 And if giving financially isn’t possible, generosity can still shine through.
Take a moment today to offer a little extra warmth to the people who serve and support you -your barista, delivery driver, teachers, healthcare workers, administrative staff, local volunteers, or anyone who makes your day run a bit smoother. A sincere thank you, a kind conversation, or a thoughtful gesture goes further than we often realize.
Giving Tuesday reminds us that kindness is contagious and that we all have something meaningful to give.

Let’s celebrate generosity in all its forms today.
Together, we can make a difference - one small act at a time!

11/29/2025

What would it look like is we all spent all our energy on facilitating peace and kindness and support of others rather than anger, resentment, jealousy, or mean-spiritedness. Maybe December can be a month of peace in all things within us. ♥️

11/21/2025

In our current society, we are exposed to so many forms of external, environmental stimuli in our world. There are constant sources of stimuli from our devices, , advertising, modes of transportation, and entertainment, all of which are part of our daily lives that we have likely become accustomed to. Among all the ways that our senses can be activated, the average human being is presented with bright lights, loud noises, digital screens, background mechanical and/or city sounds, quick flashing videos, and a variety of different smells every day. Although we are faced with various types of stimuli, this does not assume that we can manage all the sensory regularly.
Biologically speaking, our five senses are designed to receive various sensory inputs as information about our environment. We then utilize that information to understand, interpret and respond to our environment accordingly. From an evolutionary standpoint, our senses were developed to assist with tactics in the event that danger was present. For instance, a person with intact senses living in the wild could hear an animal approaching, could smell a fire burning, or could see a flood coming. The senses also serve not only to survive but also to thrive, such as developing the most effective and efficient skills for daily living. In our modern day living, the capacity of our senses has been tested with features like virtual reality, advertising, using visual and olfactory cues to disguise objects as other things, and several other ways to trick the mind. In other words, most of the average sensory input we experience today is not for the sake of survival, and thus represents a potential distraction to overcome in our daily lives.
Our current culture would likely agree with the statement, at least from a physiological perspective, “If it doesn’t move or make noise, I’m not interested”. Our bodies have learned to expect and seek out much sensory input, and this is evident with cell phone and social media use when individuals constantly return to looking at their phones for an influx of , a short-lived feeling of pleasure. We are willing to play fast-moving digital games, scroll through social media posts, and watch endless short video clips because we get a brief sense of pleasure in the reward center of the brain. The caveat to this pattern is that we constantly need more in order to achieve that feeling, equivalent to an addict chasing a high that they will never actually achieve and fulfill. Ultimately, the bombardment of stimuli without breaks or relief can have negative impacts on our health and well-being.
Sensory overload means the brain cannot organize, analyze, or process all the senses being experienced, and it can occur to anyone regardless of background or conditions. There are varying degrees of overstimulation depending on the individual. So what does overstimulation look like? An individual can experience discomfort, difficulty focusing, surges of irritability or anger, restlessness to sensory input, feeling overly excited or hyperactive, stress or anxiety about the environment, and/or wanting to cover one’s ears or eyes. A sense of overstimulation can also cause emotional impacts such as anxiety or emotionally shutting down, and this can manifest into feeling bored without being essentially overstimulated, or having increased difficulty finding pleasure in quiet, simple things. In some cases, an increased risk of behavioral addictions can arise because the individual seeks out the same level of “excitement” that was accomplished by being constantly overstimulated. Chronic overstimulation can also cause negative cognitive effects including fatigue, difficulty focusing/concentrating, and distractibility.
Given that it is impossible to distance from all sensory input, we would instead benefit from acknowledging the signs and symptoms when we may be overstimulated with sensory overload. In those instances, sensory rest, or breaks from things that activate our senses, is warranted. This can include closing your eyes for a few minutes during the day, intentionally taking breaks from electronics and screen time, and having quiet moments to reset and recharge. Other ways to help reset your sensory experience are to sit in a sauna or pool, utilize deprivation tanks (aka float therapy), use a swing or hammock, as well as mindfulness/meditation. In our busy and highly stimulating daily lives, it is helpful to be aware of how and when our senses become overstimulating.
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11/14/2025

This was Abby’s canine professor. Lessons she learned that are still prominent in our household today.

11/01/2025

The Skelton crew.

10/21/2025

We are happy to announce that Maris Tyler has joined the team at Dr. Ermshar & Associates.

Maris Tyler is currently a doctoral student at California School of Professional Psychology. She is working on her PsyD, and is interested in working with individuals of cultural backgrounds and experiences. Maris is working at a community mental health where she gives individual and couples therapy, and has presented community-focused programs at nearby elementary schools. Her interest focuses on offspring of parents with severe mental health disorders as well as LGBTQIA+ populations. She has graduated from UCLA with a Bachelor in English and is working to complete a doctorate in clinical psychology. Outside of academics, Maris enjoys nature-centered activities, such as hiking, biking, and roller skating.

10/09/2025

The Psychology of Prosocial Behavior: Why We Help Others and How It Benefits Us

Prosocial behavior refers to voluntary actions intended to benefit others without expecting personal gain or reward. The psychology of prosocial behavior is an intriguing field that examines why individuals in helpful and altruistic actions toward others and the benefits they gain from such behavior.

One of the primary explanations for prosocial behavior is rooted in evolutionary theory. According to this perspective, individuals are biologically inclined to help others, especially those with whom they share genetic ties or reciprocal relationships. This behavior promotes the survival of their genes and enhances the chances of their genes being passed on to future generations. Engaging in prosocial behavior can build a positive reputation and enhance social bonds. People tend to reciprocate acts of , and being known as a helpful person can lead to more opportunities for cooperation and social support in the future.

Societal norms and expectations also influence prosocial behavior. People are often conditioned to believe that helping others is morally right and socially desirable. A violation of these norms might result in feelings of guilt or social disapproval, reinforcing prosocial behavior. The social exchange theory suggests that people engage in prosocial behavior when the benefits of helping outweigh the potential costs. In other words, individuals are more likely to help others if they believe that the benefits they receive (such as gratitude, reputation, and sense of ) will be greater than any potential drawbacks or sacrifices.

Empathy also plays a crucial role in prosocial behavior. When individuals can understand and share the feelings of others, they are more likely to be motivated to help alleviate their distress or improve their well-being. Altruism is a form of prosocial behavior where individuals help others without any expectation of rewards or benefits.

One of the benefits of prosocial behavior is increased well-being. The process of engaging in prosocial behavior is associated with greater life satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of purpose, and helping others can elevate one's mood and reduce stress and anxiety. Prosocial individuals also often enjoy more fulfilling and meaningful . They tend to attract supportive and empathetic friends, leading to a strong support system during challenging times. Additionally, helping others and making a positive impact can boost one's self-esteem and self-worth, leading to greater self-confidence and self-respect. Prosocial behavior can also foster a sense of community and cooperation. When individuals help each other, it creates a more harmonious and supportive social environment. Finally, research suggests that engaging in prosocial behavior is linked to better mental and physical health outcomes. It can reduce the risk of depression, improve cardiovascular health, and even extend one's lifespan.

In conclusion, behavior is a complex phenomenon influenced by evolutionary, psychological, and social factors. By helping others, it can benefit society as a whole and also contribute to an individual's overall well-being and fulfillment.

https://www.drannetteermshar.com/the-psychology-of-prosocial-behavior-why-we-help-others-and-how-it-benefits-us/

09/24/2025

09/19/2025

Dogs at any age are our greatest companions.
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a dog licking your face” - Ben Williams

09/09/2025

Unexpected outcomes are not failures. Set backs or detours can still end in success, happiness, and satisfaction. Don’t get discouraged. You got this.