Jennifer Steinbachs, ND

02/14/2026

Heresy #6: Functional Medicine Is Pharma in Yoga Pants

You swapped out prescriptions for protocols, but you're still outsourcing authority to a bottle.

Functional medicine sells control under the guise of root cause. It's the same dependency loop, just with prettier branding.

If your healing plan still needs a shopping cart, it's not root cause.

02/10/2026

Heresy file #5: Healing has become the new identity hustle. Somewhere along the way, the wellness world replaced corporate grind with healing grind—and called it freedom.

Biohacking your way into burnout. Micromanaging symptoms like a spreadsheet. Treating your nervous system like a quarterly OKR.

You're not broken. You're just tired of performing wellness.

02/04/2026

You're not taking magnesium, you're taking safety.

Most supplement protocols are just placebos dressed in lab coats. Not because they don't do anything, but because they're taken without foundational context—serving as a control mechanism or coping ritual.

Supplements without safety are just expensive rituals.

01/29/2026

Heresy file 4

You're not taking magnesium, you're taking safety.

Most supplement protocols are just placebos dressed in lab coats. Not because they don't do anything, but because they're taken without foundational context—serving as a control mechanism or coping ritual.

Supplements without safety are just expensive rituals.

01/25/2026

Heresy #3: Symptom Eradication Is Just Suppression

Modern medicine worships symptom removal. Functional medicine worships upstream data. Both are still chasing eradication instead of interpretation.

A symptom is not the enemy. It's the body's chosen language. Eradicate it, and you silence signal.

If you silence the signal, don't be surprised when the body starts screaming.

01/21/2026

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01/17/2026

Heresy #2: The Body Is Electrical First, Chemical Second

Mainstream physiology still teaches that the body is a biochemical soup: cells doing chemistry, with electricity riding shotgun. Cute theory, but wrong order.

The body is not a bag of reactions. It's a bioelectric pattern that uses chemistry as a local assistant.

So when we throw supplements at the body without addressing charge, rhythm, and signal clarity… we're rearranging deck chairs on a deionized Titanic.