01/14/2026
“Non-compliance is a kid indicating that they’re having difficulty meeting an expectation.”
- Dr. Ross Greene.
Non-compliance is GOOD because it can be incredibly informative! When we stop for a moment and get curious about why the child is frustrated, angry, or upset, then we open the doors for communication and real connection. Don’t assume you know what skills the child needs to meet your expectation.
Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model views challenging behavior as a sign of skills challenges and unmet expectations, not a motivation problem. Instead of rewards or consequences to manage behavior, adults collaborate proactively with kids to identify “unsolved problems” and the skills the child finds hard, like flexibility, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving.
So the next time a child is being “non-compliant”, ask “how can we solve this problem?” and listen. ☺️