Neil D Brown

12/10/2025

The journey from childhood to adulthood isn’t a single leap - it unfolds in three distinct stages, and understanding them can transform how we parent and support our kids. In this podcast episode, Neil clearly maps out the path:

• Early adolescence (roughly middle school years): Identity forms through peers, impulses are strong, and connection with parents remains essential.
• Late adolescence (high school): Competence grows, future planning begins, and teens need both encouragement and realistic guidance.
• Young adulthood (post-high school/college): The focus shifts to genuine independence - launching into work, relationships, and self-directed life.

As Neil says, “Problems are a given. The difference is made by how proactively and skillfully we respond to them.”

These years bring challenges for every family, but they’re also rich with opportunity for growth - for both teens and parents.If you’re raising teens or young adults, this episode offers a compassionate, practical framework that can bring more clarity and less conflict.

Listen here or read the transcript: https://neildbrown.com/podcast/the-3-stage-journey-from-childhood-to-adulthood/

12/05/2025

Parenting a teen can feel like a never-ending tug-of-war. The arguments, the defiance, the worry — it’s exhausting. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Neil D. Brown, LCSW, author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle, shares proven strategies to transform your relationship with your teen.

Sign up for the Healthy Family Connections newsletter and get free, actionable tips to:
- Stop power struggles
- Build trust and independence
- Bring peace back to your home

Sign up at https://neildbrown.com/newsletter-signup today.

11/26/2025

I want to wish you a most Happy Thanksgiving. This is a time to give thanks, be grateful, and share time and a special meal with friends and family.

Unfortunately, illness and loss don’t take breaks for holidays so we need to make space for those within our close circle and outside of our circle who are managing challenging situations and feelings.

But on this special day please take the time and set the ground rules for activities and significant limits on devices. Kids and teens will appreciate the day best when they make a contribution to it. Have them help prepare some of the dishes, serve guests, or help the host. Engaging younger children can be an important way for kids and teens to meaningfully participate. And while they may put up a stink and groan initially, they’ll feel good about themselves afterwards.

And as important as setting things up for success with the kids, set yourself up for success as well. If there’s a choice for doing more or less, choose with respect for your personal needs. Sure, make that dish you know your mother in law loves, but make time and priority for your physical and mental health. You need it, you deserve it, you’re worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Neil

11/21/2025

How to Turn Thanksgiving Overwhelm Into Family Teamwork: A Guide for Parents of Teens | neildbrown.com/podcast/im-depressed-thinking-about-thanksgiving

Keeping teenagers engaged during the holidays can be a challenge, and the holiday cook can feel taken for granted. Read Neil's solution for a mom who feels that she works hard making a Thanksgiving dinner and a nice day for everyone without appreciation or fun.

11/20/2025

Struggling with your teen? You're not alone. Parenting teenagers doesn’t have to be a constant battle. With the right tools, you can navigate this challenging period with confidence, clarity, and purpose. Guide your youth on a healthy path forward and enjoy your family again. Link in comments 👇

11/12/2025

How is a parent to know when the power struggle they’re having with their teen is normal, and when it’s truly become a serious problem?

How do you tell the difference between a normal parent-teen power struggle and one that has crossed the line to become a destructive Parent-Teen Control Battle?

Read the article for answers to these family relationship challenges.

How is a parent to know when the power struggle they’re having with their teen is normal, and when it’s truly become a serious problem?How do you tell the difference between a normal parent-teen power struggle and one that has crossed the line to become a destructive Parent-Teen Control Battle?

11/12/2025

Hi, I’m Neil D. Brown, LCSW — family therapist, author, and creator of the Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle book and course.

For over 35 years, I’ve worked with:
• Parents of teens
• Schools and student support teams
• Mental and behavioral health providers

When relationships break down, conflict escalates, and trust erodes — families, schools, and clinicians need more than strategies. They need a framework for restoring connection, influence, and emotional safety.

This is the work I do. Learn more link below and in bio 👇

11/03/2025

Communication and teamwork between parents is incredibly important. Do you feel as though you and your spouse communicate effectively and provide each other with the support the other needs?

In this podcast, I answer a question from a father who is struggling in his relationship with his children. He wonders if it's the result of different expectations set by his wife and by him.

I discuss:

→ The control battle that occurs when each parent has different expectations
→ How parents assign negative narratives to their spouse and how to fix them
→ Steps to take to create change in the home..and more!

Struggling with control battles, burnout, and disconnected family time? Learn to drop negative narratives, synthesize ideas with your spouse, and plan fun dad-kid outings for stronger bonds and less whining.

11/01/2025

Struggling with those heated 'control battles' at home? Don't let negative narratives about your spouse drain your connection -switch to SYNTHESIZE mode instead! In this eye-opening podcast, Neil shares game-changing tips: Ditch the blame game, charge up your partner's 'emotional battery' with empathy & appreciation, and team up on fun family plans that actually stick (hello, less kid resistance!). Link in comments 👇

Key gem: Empathy with a life partner is an amazing thing. When we have appreciation for who our partner is and caring for how they feel, it feeds them just like charging up their battery. Ready to talk it out and build stronger bonds? Tune in now!

10/29/2025

Testimonial from a parent who just completed the Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle course: "One of my favorite parts of the course was when Neil gave clear examples of the types of things to say and do. Then he told the types of things not say and to not do. Both are invaluable as a model for communication. I really needed to hear the exact words and to hear his tone of voice."

Ready to transform your relationship with your teen? See links in comments 👇

10/28/2025

What do you do when you are exhausted from trying to stay on top of managing your ADHD 12 year old daughter, and getting cooperation from your 16 year old very independent son?

Bonnie of Maplewood, NJ wrote:

Dear Neil,

I know that control battles are a problem, but how do I get out of one when my kids are constantly breaking the rules? My daughter 12 has ADHD and would rather be on her phone than doing homework, practicing piano, cleaning her room or any other responsibility. She knows she has to have certain things done before she can have her phone, but then it’s up to me to make sure she’s done everything. She’ll say she’s done her responsibilities and wants her phone and then it’s up to me to go over the list and argue with her about the details of her undone responsibilities.

The situation with my son is similar. He’s 16 and wants to be independent which is fine. But if he wants to be independent, does that mean he has no responsibilities in the home? I swear, if he ever washed a dish or cleaned up after himself without being hounded, I’d faint.

They’re both basically good kids but why is everything on me to keep them in line?

To make matters worse, their Dad has them most weekends and says he has no problem with them. The truth is he doesn’t make them do anything. They eat take-out whenever the kids want. He works a lot and is always on his computer, so the kids are free to be on their devices.

Should I just quit being so demanding? I feel like I’m losing the battle and that I’m the odd one out in the family.

Sincerely, Bonnie

👇 See link in comments for Neil's response to Bonnie and the full transcript and podcast link...

10/27/2025

An Honest Look at the Cause & Effect of Parental Burnout - Is parental burnout a real thing, or is it just a way of saying parenting is a hard job? To answer that question let’s start with the subject of burnout in general — and yes, it is quite real.

Parental burnout is real: Explore causes like no downtime, special needs, and control battles, plus effects on mental health and parenting. Includes a case study and prevention tips.