Leilani Jefferies, LCSW

11/20/2025

Dearest November,

A time for turning in and slowing down. The harvest is complete, the frenetic energy of summer a mere sun-dappled memory.

Trick or treaters came and went, along with the winds signaling the change of the season. The wheel is turning, away from the light for now as the days become dramatically shorter.

These days, I am more tired. I want to turn in earlier and stay warm under the blankets into the morning. I crave the mystical taste of dreams.

I look at my life right now and it is so very full. In the heart of raising kids, in the core of my career. For now, there is always too much. Too much to do. Too much to attend to. Too much mess, too many calls to return, too many tasks to complete. I am often overwhelmed. If I stopped sleeping, I still wouldn’t have the time to get through the to-do list. And…here come the holidays!

I want to remember now in November that my life won’t always be this full. And when passes, I will most likely feel bereft.
In the absence of long bright days, I also find myself face to face with darkness much more. Confronted with loss, aware of mortality. The reality that we lose all that we have in this life, eventually. I don’t want to turn away from this. I want this knowing to live at the center of my life.

I remember when I have had health scares, or the terrifying moment when I lost sight of my 5 year old son in the Chicago airport. Those moments we’ve all had, when everything gets stripped down to reveal that which is most essential.

Fleeting moments we have with our loved ones that we are hypnotized into thinking last forever.

The health of our bodies that will someday, sooner than we believe, fail us.

This is when I fall to my knees in gratitude. This is when I want to remember that, as Rumi said, “There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

Out of gratitude for all of you, I want to offer this Non Sleep Deep Rest meditation, also known as yoga nidra. This is a special recording, as it contains within it a gratitude practice, and is backed by bilateral nature sounds.

I invite you to claim some quiet time, plug in your headphones, find a space where you won’t be interrupted, and tune in at https://on.soundcloud.com/7sB02tB8WF1bovAk35.

And as always, if you love this practice and want to explore working with me more in this way, find me at https://www.leilanijefferies.com/rest-coaching.html.

Bowing in gratitude.
Leilani

09/14/2025

08/16/2025

I want to talk about what’s going on in DC this week.

I just recently recovered from a bad bout with Covid, my first ever time getting the little bu**er. Bone deep exhaustion hit me like a truck, and I had no choice but to rest. Deeply.

I cut my engagement with the outside world way down. Did all my rest practices because it was a complete necessity to do so. I turned on the binaural beats and spoke gently with my body. I practiced treating my body like a temple. Stayed present with my breathing. For many days, I centered the practice of deeply nurturing myself.

Towards the end of my Covid journey, when I was almost back to normal but still slowed way down with all of these beautiful rest practices, I turned on my car radio and heard this story on NPR.
https://www.npr.org/2025/08/14/nx-s1-5502247/trump-purge-homeless-washington.

For anyone that isn’t following, Trump has sent in the National Guard to clear homeless encampments in our nation’s capital.

Normally, when I hear a story like this—

Wait. Let me pause and unpack those words first. A story like this is not normal. The reality is that I, like many of us, have become numb to stories like this, due to the way I consume media in my day to day life, and due to Trump’s incessant and indifferent use of cruelty in his dealings with marginalized people and populations.

Okay, now I will continue. These days, whe n I hear stories like these, I feel sad, angry, and helpless for a few moments, and then I quickly turn my attention elsewhere to escape the discomfort. This day however, in this slowed-down and deeply nurtured state when I heard this story on the radio, I noticed a difference in my ability to actually digest and sit with what is happening.

David Beatty, a 65 year old man currently experiencing homelessness in this DC encampment, really struck me with these words.

“The idea that we’re poor makes them uncomfortable. They don’t want to be reminded that poor people exist.”

I invite you to sit with that statement for a moment. Really sit with it.

When I sit with these words, and when I really look at how we are treating homelessness in this culture, I am amazed. Deeply.

Now I invite you to take a deep breath, drop into your body, and read Trump’s statement on this event, a statement made from his gold-plated Oval Office.

“We’re going to be removing homeless encampments from all over our parks, our beautiful, beautiful parks, which a lot of people can’t walk on, they’re very dirty. There are many places they can go, we’re going to help them as much as you can help. But they’re not going to be allowed to turn our capital into a wasteland.”

We’re going to help them as much as you can help. They won’t be allowed to turn our capital into a wasteland. Very dirty.

When reporters asked David Beatty where he would be sleeping that night, he replied, “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Inhale, exhale. Let it land. Let yourself assimilate this.

The radio jumped immediately to the next story, normalizing the cruelty. I turned it off, as I recognized the need for a moment of silence to assimilate what is happening. I wish the radio stations would recognize this as well.

The National fu***ng Guard is called in to clear homeless people from our capital, spending who knows how much of our tax dollars. Terrorizing poor people. So that Trump can look like a Strong Man. A Bearer of Order.

Homelessness is a crime against humanity, yet they want to jail them for being poor.

Sitting in my car, assimilating this story, I remembered this quote by one of my favorite long-time teachers, Thich That Hanh.

"Do not avoid contact with suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of suffering in the life of the world. Find ways to be with those who are suffering by all means, including personal contact and visits, images, sounds. By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world."

I am so uncomfortable with all of this. However, in this rested state, I don’t flee the discomfort. I feel the sorrow. I feel that familiar mixture of anger and helplessness that makes me want to crawl out of my skin whenever I face this reality. Our country is in so much trouble. Our world is in so much trouble.

I invite you to sit with me in this mess. Sit with it all. Wait for the next step to become clear. Don’t react. Respond Skillfully.

Many people see the act of rest as escape. I’m not resting to escape.

I’m resting to get intimately connected with my self, to tap into my inner knowing.

I’m resting to dream, to imagine the way forward from here, a way through this mess we’re in as a country. I’m resting to get more present with myself and with the world around me.

I’m resting to wake up.

Join me here. https://www.leilanijefferies.com/rest-coaching.html

08/09/2025

Let July be July
Let August be August.
And let yourself
just be
even in the uncertainty.
You don’t have to fix everything.
You don’t have to
solve everything.
And you can still
find peace
and grow
in the wild
of changing things.
– Morgan Harper Nichols.

08/09/2025

Let July be July.
Let August be August.
And let yourself
just be
even in
the uncertainty.
You don’t have to fix
everything.
You don’t have solve
everything.
And you can still
find peace
and grow
in the wild
of changing things.

--Morgan Harper Nichols

01/30/2025

Beautiful owl medicine after a long walk on the beach 💜

01/20/2025

“We often fear that the revolution needed is too big for what we can give. Too much change is required inside, outside, and we are too small. But all that is required is that you step into the truth of your life, and speak it, write it, paint it, dance it. That you shine your light on your truth for the world to see. And as hundreds and thousands and millions do this, each sparking the courage of yet more, suddenly we have a world alight with truth.”
Lucy Pearce, Burning Woman

01/16/2025

And this, too...

Ram Dass first went to India in 1967. He was still Dr. Richard Alpert, a prominent Harvard psychologist and psychedelic pioneer with Dr. Timothy Leary. He co...

02/06/2024

Hey everyone! I’m starting an accountability group for a month long Digital Detox, using this book by Catherine Price. We start this Friday 2/9/24. If you also feel the need to change the dynamic in your relationship to your digital devices, and would like to be a part of this journey, fill out the interest form linked in bio, and I will add you to the WhatsApp group. No fee, just willingness to commit to the process. I know that there are many of us feeling the deep need to do this work!

01/27/2024

Since the first iPhone was released in 2007, I have become increasingly addicted to this mini rectangular computer that sits in the palm of my hand. I use it for communication, navigation, research, music and reading. I use it to scroll through endless advertisements, political rants, mindless chatter, in order to find the treasure of occasional posts from friends broadcasting their present day lives. I use it to plan events, to find events, for inspiration and instructions for creative projects. I use it to capture and store memories, for meal planning, and tracking exercise. I use it for note taking, scheduling, entertainment, shopping and advertising. I use it for distraction; I turn to it when I’m upset or angry to mute my emotions. And most of all, I use it to curtail boredom.

I know there is more than I listed here, because I find myself reaching for my phone every few minutes of most days. Over the years, I have tried to create boundaries, to put the phone away for hours or even days at a time. Then, I’ll need it for one of the very real utilities I listed above. And when I pick it up to do the thing I need to do, I see notifications, am instantly sidetracked, and forget to complete the task for which I originally picked it up.

Simultaneous to this screen addiction is a marked decrease in creativity. I am so grateful to this technology for the worlds of possibility that it opens. But the more I overuse it, the more I feel that my own vision narrows. I want to look at the wide open view of the horizon more, and I want to live my life with more purpose and less interruptions.

This is why I am choosing to change my relationship with my phone. If you’re still reading this, maybe you find yourself struggling with your smartphone habits as well. And maybe you feel the desire to live a less plugged in lifestyle. Accountability is a hugely powerful tool. Maybe you would like to join me in a month long journey of reclaiming our autonomy from our digital devices?

I’m looking for a small group of people who are seriously committed to walk this path with me. No cost--except your vow to stick with this for the duration of the month. I’m going to be working with a well laid out plan from the book “How To Break Up with Your Phone,” by Katherine Price. In the second half of this book, there are day by day assignments. You can buy the book (which I recommend), or you can simply follow the book’s directions, which I will screenshot and post daily. We can share our experience on the way, inspire one another, and hold one another accountable.

I am coming to deeply understand that my time here is limited. My attention is an incredibly valuable commodity, and I want to intentionally choose where to focus it, rather than unintentionally giving it away for other people’s profits. Will you join me?

If you are interested, please fill out this https://forms.gle/rHH2KXeVUMwfGyX3A, and tell my why you want to do this. Life is short. Let’s make it matter.