Pursuit of Recovery

02/03/2026

Thank you as always for Reading🤓

Understanding Passive-Aggressive Behavior & how to stop absorbing what was never said… The Confusion No One Talks About Passive-aggressive behavior often doesn’t look like anger. It looks like: S arcasm. Silence. “Jokes.” Missed follow-through . It leaves people

02/02/2026

📝 Mom’s Monday Notes
On 1/10/2002 my Mother wrote:

“Our thoughts play a great role in the level of peace in our lives.”

In recovery, we learn pretty quickly that our thoughts are not neutral.
They either steady us or stir us up.

A single thought can whisper, “You’re not doing enough,”
or it can remind us, “You’re doing the best you can today.”

Peace doesn’t come from controlling everything around us—
it comes from learning to pause, notice, and gently challenge the thoughts running the show inside us.

When we’re early in recovery, our minds often replay fear, shame, and old survival stories.
Those thoughts once protected us… but they don’t have to lead us anymore.

Recovery invites us to ask:
• Is this thought true?
• Is it helpful?
• Is it kind?

Because the thoughts we rehearse become the tone of our days,
and the tone of our days becomes the direction of our healing.

Today, if peace feels distant, start small.
You don’t have to fix your whole life—
just tend to one thought and choose one that brings you closer to grace than to fear.

Mom was right.
Peace begins on the inside.
And in recovery, that’s where the real work—and the real freedom—lives.

01/27/2026

If we only try to change behavior, we’re treating the symptom, not the source.
Lasting change happens when we go deeper —
when we become aware of what we’re thinking,
what we’re saying to ourselves,
and what beliefs are driving our reactions.

Change the thought.
The behavior will follow.

01/26/2026

Mom’s Monday 📝Notes

On Feb 5 2002 my mother wrote:

“Tact is the intelligence of the heart.”

In recovery, tact isn’t about being polite or filtered for the sake of approval.
It’s about emotional sobriety—knowing when to speak, when to pause, and when silence is the most loving response.

Early recovery often comes with raw honesty. We finally find our voice after years of numbing or people-pleasing. And that voice matters. But recovery teaches us that truth without compassion can still wound, just as silence without courage can still harm.

Tact is the heart saying:
• “Is this true?”
• “Is this loving?”
• “Is this mine to say—and is now the right time?”

When we practice tact, we are no longer reacting from fear, resentment, or old survival patterns. We respond from self-respect and respect for others. That’s growth. That’s healing.

In family recovery, tact helps us set boundaries without cruelty.
In personal recovery, tact helps us speak to ourselves with grace instead of shame.
In spiritual recovery, tact reminds us that love does not shout—it invites.

Tact is not weakness.
It is wisdom with a heartbeat.
It is the quiet evidence that the heart is learning to lead again.

01/22/2026

Thank you for reading!

💌An Invitation💌

🌻Growth is not rushed.
❤️‍🩹Healing is not forced.
🫶🏻Maturity is not shaming.

It is learned — slowly, safely, and together.

If you’re ready to stop trying to run on unsteady legs…
If you’re ready to build a foundation that lasts…
If you’re ready to grow up gently and intentionally…

The Adult Highchair may be for you.

More details will be coming soon.

Until then, know this:
You are not behind.
You are becoming.

Art work by: Stephanie Peters

01/21/2026

Well worth the read!

Quitting smoking improves mood, reduces anxiety and depression, and boosts overall mental health, especially for those with co-occurring conditions.

01/21/2026

Relationships….

As children we relied on our survival traits to protect us from harm. Gradually, they grew stronger and more ingrained as we encountered greater levels of family dysfunction and the resulting fear. We carried our traits into adulthood. Initially, we were unaware of their effects, but our relationships suffered.

Through ACA, we realize our survival traits no longer serve us. When we consider emotional intimacy, we may feel scared and at risk for hurt. However, if we risk sharing ourselves with another, we become capable of having a true relationship.

Trusting another person with our most vulnerable selves is a new and maybe scary practice. We can let the other person earn our trust gradually as the relationship develops. We can ask for what we need rather than manipulate to get what we want. We can identify and share our feelings without shutting down or ruminating endlessly. We no longer need to keep our True Selves locked inside. When we risk honesty and openness with another, we discover a world of new possibilities, including love.

On this day I have the courage to break old patterns that keep me from deeper connections with the people in my life.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/19/2026

01/19/2026

Mom’s Monday 📝 Notes – Recovery Reflection

On 3/19/2002 my mother wrote:

“Healing begins with realizing that our hearts are bored, discontent, anxious, empty, or restless.”

In recovery, this realization is often the first honest turning point.

Addiction, codependency, people-pleasing, and control don’t usually begin because we’re reckless—they begin because something inside us feels unsettled. Restless. Empty. Longing for relief. We reach outward to quiet an inner ache we don’t yet have words for.

Healing doesn’t start when life becomes perfect.
It starts when we stop numbing, fixing, performing, or running—and name what’s actually happening in our hearts.

That boredom may be grief we haven’t processed.
That anxiety may be fear we’ve carried too long.
That emptiness may be a disconnection from self, from God, from truth.
That restlessness may be our soul asking for alignment instead of escape.

Recovery invites us to stay present with these feelings rather than outrun them. To listen instead of anesthetize. To trust that awareness is not weakness—it’s wisdom.

When we can gently say, “Something in me is unsettled, and I’m willing to look,” healing begins to unfold—not all at once, but honestly, courageously, and with grace.

01/16/2026

January 16
Prayer

As a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one’s character. A change in character, or a change in soul, is a real change.
–Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount

Erica Jong has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Praying and meditating are ways we take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciplines suggested by the Eleventh Step of Twelve Step recovery programs: Al Anon, CoDa, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and others.

Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion. Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit our life, our growth, and us. Praying is how we connect with God. We don’t pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source.

We’re learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs. We’re learning to change our behaviors. But we’re also learning to take care of our spirit, our soul, because that is where all true change begins.

Each time we talk to God, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our Higher Power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best.

-Language of Letting Go💕💕

01/12/2026

Mom’s Monday 📝Notes
“Conflict as a Classroom”

On March 8 2002 my mother wrote:

“The challenge to conflict or criticism is not learning how to avoid it, but how to deal with it.”

In recovery, we quickly learn that conflict doesn’t go away just because we stop drinking, using, or controlling. Life still happens. People still disappoint us. We still get misunderstood, triggered, corrected, and confronted — sometimes lovingly, sometimes not.

The work of recovery is not building a life where nothing ever upsets us.
The work is learning how to stay emotionally sober when it does.

Conflict becomes a classroom in recovery.

It shows us:
• Where we are still reactive instead of responsive
• Where fear is still driving our behavior
• Where we are still trying to control outcomes instead of trusting the process

When criticism comes, the old patterns want to defend, deflect, blame, shut down, or lash out. Recovery teaches us a new pause:
• Is there truth here I can receive?
• Is there a boundary I need to hold?
• Is this mine to carry, or someone else’s to own?

Instead of asking, “How do I make this stop?”
Recovery asks, “Who am I becoming while I walk through this?”

Because peace isn’t the absence of conflict —
peace is the presence of groundness inside it.

When we learn how to deal with conflict with honesty, humility, boundaries, and self-respect, we stop being run by it. We stop outsourcing our serenity to other people’s behavior.

And that is real freedom.♥️♥️♥️