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Sober Life, Santa Rosa Beach, FL (2025)

12/02/2025

December 2

Projects to Completion.
Fortitude

Starting projects without completing them can be part of our alcoholic nature. It’s related to immaturity and a tendency to become bored and discouraged quickly.

The 12 Step program can help us overcome this problem. First, we realize and admit to such tendencies, fearlessly facing what has really been a very bad habit. Then we become honest about our motives. We realize that we didn’t actually have the abiding interest that would have helped us complete some projects. In such cases, the projects never should have been started… and in the future we’ll take are not to embark on similar projects.

When something does need to be completed, the program will help us stay with it until it’s done. We will always find that the satisfaction of completing a necessary project will be part of sober living. We’ll also know that we’re growing in the program.

I’ll take the necessary steps today to move any project toward completion. This will also help with future projects.

12/01/2025

December 01

Perfectionism
"In other homes, the children are like objects of perfection to be displayed alongside dinners centered on tables with fine fixtures, perfect posture, and orderly spoons and forks. Holidays and celebrations bring guests who compliment the parents for sparkling floors and perfect children." BRB p. 37

A more subtle and powerful undercurrent in our alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional families was everpresent control, although the type of control may not have always seemed clear. Whether our houses resembled museums or they were well-cluttered, expressions of love may have been flowery and superficial and had strings attached. The essence of these dysfunctional expressions was not authentic, and we knew it.

The actual object of all the cleanliness or sloppiness, the pseudo expression of love, was inauthentic. Deep inside, our True Self saw that the real motive was the suppression of the possibility of admitting that things were out of control.

So we bought in and "acted out" this subconscious conflict to both avoid being ostracized and to keep our own feelings of being out of control from surfacing.

Gradually, when the sense of chaos crept into our consciousness as adults, and we hit an emotional, spiritual and physical bottom, we found ACA. In this humbled state, we are given the gift of recovery as we recollect the memories of our upbringing, admit our terror and grieve our losses.

On this day I will examine the control in my family and the effect it's had in my adult life. I will practice the ACA program to help process the unexpressed traumatic fear and buried memories so that I may be free of control.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

11/30/2025

November 30

Spiritual pride
Seeking humility

Those of us who have found a Higher Power in our lives can feel truly blessed. We know we’re on the right path by witnessing the wonderful changes that continue to come into our lives.

One pitfall in this, however, is the risk of becoming “spiritually proud.” We sometimes feel that our beliefs are so superior that others should accept them as well. We even become critical of the beliefs of others.

If this happens, we actually will be severing our own conscious contact with our higher power. False pride is a new form will be back in charge. Others will sense this too, and may withdraw from us.

Our best safeguard against this trap of spiritual pride is a reminder that we don’t have all the answers. We can share our understanding with others, but we should never imply that we know what’s best for them. Spiritual growth should being humility, not more of the pride that was destroying us.

I can leave all outcomes in God’s hands today, knowing that everything is being controlled in a spiritual way.

11/29/2025

November 29

Gratitude
Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward. In other
words, if you carry the message to still others, you will be
making the best possible repayment for the help given to you.
- As Bill Sees It, (Gratitude Should Go Forward) No. 29

Thought to Ponder . . .
Grateful is a feeling. Gratitude is an action.

AA-related 'Alconym'
H U G S = Hope, Unity, Gratitude, Serenity.

AA ‘Big Book’ – Quote

All these and many others , have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence. – Pg. ### – 4th. Edition – The Doctor’s Opinion

11/28/2025

November 28

Spaces in Togetherness
Friendship
One of the beautiful aspects of AA is the bonding that develops among members. We truly do achieve a closeness with some people that is unlike anything we ever had before.
The danger in such friendships is that we may become too close in some ways. Without realizing it, we may be making too many demands on others’ time. This can become suffocating to them and eventually detrimental to the friendship.
In such situations, we need to remember the words of Kahlil Gibran; “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” However, close we feel to others, we must allow them their space.
We should also remember to respect others’ privacy as well as their anonymity. AA should give us close friendships, but not to the point of suffocation.
I’ll remember today not to overstep my boundaries in any friendship. There must be spaces in our togetherness.

11/27/2025

Happy Thanksgiving❣️

Seeking God’s Help

“At times during our recovery, the decision to ask for God’s help is our greatest source of strength and courage.”
Basic Text pg. 26

When we take the Third Step, we decide to allow a loving Higher Power to guide us and care for us in our daily lives. We make the decision to allow this guidance and care into our lives. Some of us believe that, once we’ve made the Third Step decision, God leads us; from that point on, it’s just a matter of paying attention to where we are led.

The Third Step decision is an act of faith, and asking for God’s help is a way of renewing that act of faith. Putting faith to work in our daily lives gives us all the courage and strength we need, because we know we have the help of a loving Higher Power. We trust that our needs will be met. We can tap into that faith and trust just by asking.

Just for today: I will remind myself that I’m not alone by asking my Higher Power for help each step of the way.

11/26/2025

November 26

We can Trust Ourselves

For many of us, the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it’s whether we can trust our own judgment again.
“The last mistake I made almost cost me my sanity,” said one recovering woman who married a s*x addict. “I can’t afford to make another mistake like that.”
Many of us have trusted people, who went on to deceive, abuse, manipulate, or otherwise exploit us because we trusted them. We may have found these people charming, kind, and decent. There may have been a small voice that said, “No – something’s wrong.” Or we may have been comfortable with trusting that person and shocked when we found our instincts were wrong.
The issue may then reverberate through our life for years. Our trust in others may have been shaken, but our trust in ourselves may have been shattered worse.
How could something feel so right, flow so well, and be such a total mistake? We may wonder. How can I ever trust my selection process again, when it showed itself to be so faulty?
We may never have the answers. I believe I needed to make certain “mistakes” to learn critical lessons I’m not certain I would have otherwise learned. We cannot let our past interfere with our ability to trust ourselves. We cannot afford to function with fear.
If we are always making the wrong decision in business or in love, we may need to learn why we insist on defeating ourselves.
But most of us do improve. We learn. We grow from our mistakes. Slowly, in increments, our relationships improve. Our business choices improve. Our decisions about how to handle situations with friends or children improve. We benefit from our mistakes. We benefit from our past. And if we have made mistakes, we needed to make them in order to learn along the way.
Today, I will let go of my fears about trusting myself because I have made mistakes in the past. I understand that these fears only serve to impair my judgment today. I will give my past, even my mistakes, validity by accepting and being grateful for it all. I will strive to see what I’ve gained from my mistakes. I will try to look at all my good decisions too. I will keep a watchful eye for improvement, for overall progress, in my life.

Today I choose to stay in the reality of my life and feel all there is to feel. I am willing to feel the pain so that I can feel the joy.
–Ruth Fishel

11/25/2025

November 25
Awareness

When we first become aware of a problem, a situation, or a feeling, we may react with anxiety or fear. There is no need to fear awareness. No need.

Awareness is the first step toward positive change and growth. It’s the first step toward solving the problem, or getting the need met, the first step toward the future. It’s how we focus on the next lesson.

Awareness is how life, the Universe, and our Higher Power get our attention and prepare us for change. The process of becoming changed begins with awareness. Awareness, acceptance, and change – that’s the cycle. We can accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because that’s how we’re moved to a better place. We can accept the temporary discomfort because we can trust God, and ourselves.

Today, I will be grateful for any awareness I encounter. I will display gratitude, peace, and dignity when life gets my attention. I will remember that it’s okay to accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because I can trust that it’s my Higher Power moving me forward.

11/24/2025

November 24
Are there better paths to sobriety?
Self-honesty

Now that alcoholism recovery has been well established, alternatives to the AA program are being developed. These are designed to appeal to those who either will not or cannot accept AA.

Nobody in AA should feel threatened by these new programs. We should, in fact, be delighted if ways are found to reach those whom we are unable to help. The need is so great that we should welcome anything that helps alcoholics.

The only real test for any program is that it works. More important, it must work for us. No program is useful to us if we cannot apply it in our own lives.

If we have found sobriety in AA, we have no need to look further. If AA was able to help us in our hour of desperate need, it can help us as the days unfold into the future.

I’ll be thankful today for the sobriety AA has given me. I’ll also remember that my need for help in maintaining sobriety will never end.

11/23/2025

November 23

Self-Sabotage
"By keeping the focus on ourselves, we will find freedom from our critical self as well as our addictive and destructive behaviors." BRB p. 304

Many of us learned to victimize ourselves with self-destructive behaviors. We were taught to devalue ourselves early on, and had to join in our own victimization as a way to survive.

Unfortunately, the survival mechanisms we learned in order to cope hurt us just as deeply now as they did in the past, maybe even more so. Why? Because as adults we feel we should be able to change things at will. But without the necessary skills and insight, this is almost impossible.

In ACA we learn that no matter when or how our destructive behaviors and thoughts started, we are capable of experiencing new ways of being. But we don't do it alone. We invite our Higher Power and other ACAs to join us on our healing journey. When we have enough faith in ourselves to move in this direction, we become ready to release our self-destructive behavior.

As part of this process, we begin to grieve and heal the losses we've experienced, both because of our own actions and the actions of those who raised us. We learn to give ourselves unconditional love and draw upon the energy of other ACAs and our Higher Power. We embrace this positive support system that can get us through our darkest days.

On this day I will release any negative energy so that I am able to make the changes I want and deserve in my life.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

11/22/2025

November 22
The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance

Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work.

We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances.

If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we’re beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we’ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we’ve been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance.

When all else fails, go back to the basics.

Gratitude and acceptance work.

Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances.

11/21/2025

November 21

Continuous effort–not strength or intelligence–is the key to unlocking our potential.
–Liane Cordes

Perseverance may well be our greatest asset. As we forge ahead on a project, it loses its power over us. Our confidence and abilities grow in concert with our progress on the project, preparing us to tackle the next one too.

We have something special, uniquely our own to offer in this life. And we also have the potential to offer it successfully. However, we don’t always realize our potential. Many of us stifled our development with fears of failure, low self-worth, assumed inadequacies. The past need plague us no longer.

Help is readily available for us to discover our capacities for success. Abilities stand ready to be tapped, goals and projects await our recognition. Any commitment we make to a task that draws our interest will be reinforced by God’s commitment to our efforts. We have a partner. Our efforts are always doubled when we make them–truly make them.

I will not back away from a project today. I will persevere and find completion. I’ll feel completed.

Sober Life

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