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01/15/2026

January 15

Promise One
"We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves." BRB p. 591

Real identity? The idea that we aren't "real" can be very confusing at first. The concept is difficult, even maddening. As we go to meetings, we may begin to hear about a critical inner parent, an inner loving parent, and the hidden Inner Child. It seems complicated.

Somewhere in the first few months of attending meetings, it clicks. Slowly we learn, understand, and apply the information we have been gathering, and one day the realization of our dilemma becomes clear. The picture finally comes into view. Without knowing it, we have been perpetrating a fraud: impersonating our True Self with our false self.

As we dive into Step work, we begin to reparent ourselves. In the same instant, we become accepting of ourselves. No longer untethered and wandering aimlessly, our course is made clear with each day of practicing this simple, Higher Power-given program.

A miracle occurs as a result of the work we do in ACA: we unshackle our True Self from our false self, embrace our hidden Inner Child with the caring arms of our inner loving parent, and are carried to higher and higher levels of freedom.

On this day I will listen, learn, and apply the concepts and principles of ACA recovery. They are the means of discovering my real identity, allowing me to love and accept myself.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/14/2026

January 14

Unvoiced Pain
"In acting out, I was screaming when I could not voice my pain." BRB p. 503

Many of us spent years drinking to numb our pain, eating for comfort, using drugs for escape, using s*x while hoping for love, or whatever worked for us. While some of us found other Twelve Step programs that helped us with our self-harming, addictive behaviors, others of us may have lived life rotating from one behavior to another. We felt we needed something to help us separate ourselves from the pain, so we "acted out" as a way to avoid "feeling in."

As children, we went through so many tough experiences alone. We couldn't tell anyone what was happening or how we felt. We couldn't even admit that the craziness we observed was really occurring. No one would listen, or if they did, they would smooth it over with excuses or tell us there was something wrong with us for even saying it out loud. As a result, these thoughts or words festered inside.

We now are able to put a voice to our pain that can be heard by others in ACA. No one judges us for feeling the way that we do. Our True Self is able to shine through without turning to our former addictions, our silent partners. We are freeing ourselves from the guilt, shame and loneliness of our past.

On this day, if I feel the pull to act out, I will stay in the moment and try to find out what is triggering my reaction. I will use whatever ACA tools I need to in order to help myself.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/13/2026

January 13
The need for approval.
Raising self-esteem.

Although drinking behavior may have been defiant and antisocial, most of us wanted others to think well of us. If we are not watchful, this need for approval can tyrannize us in sobriety.

A fierce need for approval can drives us to do more than our share of talking at discussion meetings. On the other hand, the fear of disapproval may cause us to “pass” when we really do have something to say. Outside of the fellowship, a strong desire for others’ approval can make us anxious and unsure of ourselves. In the same way, a strong fear of being rejected or criticized can make us afraid to act.

In sobriety, we can free ourselves from an unreasonable desire for approval. When we learn to like ourselves more, we do not need constant reassurance and applause from others. We may also discover that we have been doing certain things against our will simply because we wanted somebody’s approval. This is our fault, not theirs, and we can get such practices out of our lives when we no longer need them.

I will accept myself as I am today. I will give others the approval that I desire for myself. I will not try to win approval by being a people-pleaser.

01/12/2026

January 12
IF IT FEELS GOOD. . .
Facing Other Excesses

In the drinking life, one of the flippant sayings we heard was, “If it feels good, do it!” We hear that often in sobriety, although it sometimes appears on a bumper sticker or as casual comment. And if we’ve learned anything in sobriety, we know that this remark is really a permit for disaster. We drank to feel good, but we often ended up feeling terrible.

Yet the same slogan, properly understood, can be useful for the recovering alcoholic. We all want to feel good. But a drink means temporary pleasure followed by pain, guilt, remorse, and ruin. This is not really feeling good. It is a nightmare of the worst feeling we can imagine.

Happy sobriety does feel good, even though it may include short-term discomfort or temporary boredom. The long-run tendency of sobriety is toward having peace of mind, feeling good about ourselves, and using our talents and opportunities wisely. This is the mature way to feel good, but we achieve it only by thinking and acting in the right ways. Perhaps our slogan could be, “If it will make you feel good now and in the future, do it!”

Today I will pass up anything that seems pleasurable in the short run but will make me guilty and unhappy later on.

01/11/2026

January 11

“If there is a harder way of doing something, someone will find it.”
—Ralph E. Ross

When we used alcohol or other drugs, we did most things the hard way. We could turn a simple task into a day-long project. We could turn a simple problem into an argument. We were creative giants in doing things the hard way! we need to change this. We deserve easier lives. It’s okay to take the smooth road .

In our program ,We have slogans for this: Keep It Simple, Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. These slogans remind us that it’s okay to live with as little trouble as possible.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, show me how to live a simple life. I don’t have to do everything the hard way if I listen better to You.

Action for the Day: I’ll list three or four things I do that makes my life harder than it needs to be. I’ll share them with a friend.

01/10/2026

January 10

Recovery Language
"We may be speaking program lingo, but we are not talking about what truly bothers us." BRB p. 432

In the beginning, many of us found great comfort in the new language of recovery. It shielded us against the old way of thinking. But some of us found that "talking the talk" without "walking the walk" did not change our actual behavior. We damaged ourselves and those around us by treading lightly. As we learned when we were children, we did not make waves, and the consequences still hurt us deeply. What we needed to see was that we were in a fight for our very lives.

As we recognize our complacence, we begin to free ourselves. We embrace our choices as adults with a firm backbone. We grow up. We do for ourselves what no one else can do: we rescue ourselves. We do this by surrendering our controlling grip and letting other people into our lives who can help us - a sponsor, a fellow traveler, a therapist - whomever we need.

We are not looking for perfection, but progress. We put aside our doubts and walk into the light of a new truth. It may feel painful to be honest and try something new, but not as painful as staying where we are.

On this day I will take action to get a sponsor if I don't already have one. I will commit to working the Steps and not just sound like I know what I'm talking about when I really don't.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/09/2026

January 9
Responsibility for Ourselves

We have been doing the wrong things for the right reasons.
–Codependent No More

Caretaking: the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves. When we instinctively feel responsible for the feelings, thoughts, choices, problems, comfort, and destiny of others, we are caretakers. We may believe, at an unconscious level, that others are responsible for our happiness, just as we’re responsible for theirs.

It’s a worthy goal to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person. But caretaking is neglecting us to the point of feeling victimized. Caretaking involves caring for others in ways that hamper them in learning to take responsibility for themselves.

Caretaking doesn’t work. It hurts other people; it hurts us. People get angry. They feel hurt, used, and victimized. So do we.

The kindest and most generous behavior we can choose is taking responsibility for ourselves – for what we think, feel, want, and need. The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves.

Today, I will pay attention to my actual responsibilities to myself. I will let others do the same. If I am in doubt about what my actual responsibilities are, I will take an inventory.

01/08/2026

January 8

When people make changes in their lives in a certain area, they may start by changing the way they talk bout that subject, how they act about it, their attitude toward it, or an underlying decision concerning it.
–Jean Illsley Clarke

Acting “as if” is powerful. It leads the way to a changed attitude, a changed woman. If we are self-conscious in crowds and fearful about meeting new people and yet act poised and extend our hands in friendship, we’ll not only behave in a new way, but feel good about it, too. Each act we take in this way brings us closer to the woman we are behaving like. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Realizing that through our own actions we are becoming the kind of women we admire gives us the strength, in fact, encourages the excitement in us that’s needed to keep changing. Making positive changes in our lives is the stuff that comprises self-esteem. Each gain makes the next one easier to attempt.

I will accept an opportunity today to act “as if” I can handle a situation I used to run from.

01/06/2026

January 06

Abusive Relationships
"We stay in abusive relationships because they resemble how we were raised." BRB p. 197

We're going along and things seem to be working smoothly, and suddenly, "Bam!" The rug gets pulled out. We feel betrayed by the ones who supposedly love us the most. And we feel stupid for trusting again that things will be better.

This can describe what happened in our childhood and also what happens in our adult relationships. We can experience abuse as an adult, whether it's with our family of origin or another relationship.

We may get knocked down emotionally or physically, but with the help of the program, we can now learn to separate ourselves from the abuser. We are not trapped like we were as children.

In ACA, we learn to trust and to feel at a level we never experienced before. We have choices - to continue to hope the others will change as we continue to be abused, or remove ourselves and find a safe haven. There are many levels of safe haven, from a shelter to simply being in a meeting with our ACA friends. They are available if we are ready to stand free.

On this day I will choose the best path for my emotional health. I prepare myself to make life-changing decisions to remove myself from my abusive relationships.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/05/2026

January 05

Acting Purposefully
"We have seen adult children use the principles of the Twelve Steps to handle family illness, despair, and death with amazing serenity and faith." BRB p. 291

The beauty of the Steps is that they guide us in our recovery from having grown up in a dysfunctional home, providing us with a healthy spiritual base from which to live our lives. When we remain engaged with our recovery by attending meetings regularly and reaching out to other adult children, we maintain a level of spiritual fitness that will assist us in coping with the inevitable challenges we will face.

With strengthened spirits, we live from a solid foundation that will not collapse, even during times of crisis. Situations and events will come at us unexpectedly, and we will be presented with difficulties and painful circumstances - this is certain. Rather than reacting unconsciously and repeating unhealthy behavior patterns, we act purposefully while maintaining our peace. The Steps are the tools that help us navigate the uncharted territory that is our life. By continuing to apply what we have learned on a regular basis, we can face the trials of life with grace.

On this day I will apply the universal wisdom contained within the Twelve Steps to whatever problem I am facing.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

01/04/2026

January 4

He who is swift to believe is swift to forget.
—Abraham Joshua Herschel

Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers. We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people’s ideas may not fit us. The program doesn’t tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it. When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a Higher Power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know You, and help me know the truth.

Action for the Day: Today I’ll think about my First Step. Do I truly believe I’m powerless over my disease?

01/03/2026

January 03

Step One
"We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable." BRB p. 118

Of course we are powerless. Haven't we been powerless most of our lives?

In ACA we learn to think of this word in a new light. When we hang around meetings long enough to listen, we find that our very power comes from surrender. The First Step tells us that we had actually been giving away our power at the exact time we sought to keep it. As we learn to healthfully surrender by walking away and letting go, we begin experiencing a new freedom.

We stop trying to fix others so that we can feel more comfortable, and in the process teach them how to take care of us. We take care of ourselves and allow others to fall down and not get up if that is what they must do. We walk away from the emotional car crashes that have caused us to feel like victims most of our lives. We realize we never really had the power to change anyone, especially those we grew up with.

As we make healthier choices, we start to see results in our lives. It is no longer the right thing to complain when we can just simply step away from the dialog. Because we now value our serenity, we release the idea that it is our job to change the world around us.

On this day I see wonderful things happening in my life as I loosen my grip…and let go.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

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Santa Rosa Beach, FL
32459

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Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
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Friday 9am - 5pm

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