Laura M. Taylor, MFT Counseling

01/04/2026

12/30/2025

Connection shouldn’t be something a child has to earn.
It’s how they learn to feel safe, regulate, and grow.
When we lead with warmth and presence—even during tricky behaviours—we’re guiding them from the inside out. 💛
Find more tools in Guidance from The Therapist Parent or visit www.thetherapistparent.com

12/30/2025

I've just reached 500 followers! Thank you for continuing support. I could never have made it without each one of you. 🙏🤗🎉❤️

12/30/2025

Stop Chasing the Avoidant Partner

THE WORDS THAT STOP THE CHASE
(Inner Vulnerable Child / Inner Parent Edition) 💔

When someone pulls away, your inner vulnerable child panics.
She wants closeness.
Reassurance.
Proof you still matter.

But she is not the one who should speak.
Your inner parent listens to her—
and your regulated adult speaks outward.

Stop chasing.
Stop explaining.
Stop begging.

That only abandons her further.

Here’s what it looks like when the inner parent stays present:

1. WHEN THEY GO QUIET

Inner vulnerable child feels: “I’ve been left. I did something wrong.”

Inner parent says inwardly:
"I see how scared you are. I’m here. You’re not alone.”

Regulated adult says outwardly:
"I can see you need space. I’m here when you’re ready.”

Then you give space—not as punishment,
but because you’re staying with *her*.

2. WHEN THEY SHUT DOWN

Inner vulnerable child feels: “If I don’t push, I’ll lose them.”

Inner parent responds:
"You don’t have to earn closeness. I won’t force you to perform for love.”

Regulated adult says:
"I know feelings can be hard. No pressure. If you want to talk, I’m here.”

Then you stop pressing.

You choose self-respect over pursuit.

3. WHEN THEY DISAPPEAR

Inner vulnerable child feels: “Please don’t leave me.”

Inner parent anchors:
"I won’t chase someone who can’t meet us. I will protect you.”

Regulated adult says:
"I notice distance. If something’s wrong, I’m open to hearing it. I’m not going to chase clarity.”

Then you turn back toward your own life.

Your body.
Your support.
Your truth.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART

Giving space is not abandoning them.

It’s refusing to abandon yourself.

And clarity matters:

Although it can feel similar, an avoidant nervous system is not the same as neglect or abuse.

Please understand attachment does not require tolerating harm.

It's important to assess the difference.

Your inner vulnerable child needs you not to wait.

She needs you to stay with her.

—Vulnerable Living 🦋

12/18/2025

Unabandon yourself...https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSTxy4DEdp5/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

12/12/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRhVuQrCJwg/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

12/10/2025

Denmark is moving away from the “cry it out” sleep training method, largely due to pressure from over 700 psychologists who signed an open letter citing harm to infant emotional development, leading the Danish board to reconsider its guidance, emphasizing responsive care and secure attachment as healthier alternatives.

Studies find consistently ignoring a crying baby can negatively impact their brain development, increase stress hormones like cortisol and can even affect their future emotional health.

Babies communicate their needs by crying, and ignoring these cries can lead to prolonged periods of stress, causing a rise in cortisol levels. Elevated cortisol levels can negatively impact brain development, brain structure and a baby’s ability to regulate stress even later in life.

Consistent responsiveness to a baby’s cries helps them develop a sense of security and trust in their caregivers. This can lead to a more secure attachment, which is crucial for emotional well-being, healthy social relationships and brain development.

Babies are not trying to manipulate their parents when they cry, they are communicating their needs and attempting to establish a connection. Responding to these cries is critical for building a strong bond and promoting healthy development.

12/08/2025

💔

Many men don’t escape their pain. They pass it on — unless they do the work to break the cycle.

I’ve sat across from hundreds of men who don’t see how their pain is shaping their relationships. They see themselves as good men, but they don’t realize how their unchecked wounds and defensiveness impact the people they love.

They get frustrated. They shut down. They lose their temper and blame their partner for “never letting things go.” They minimize. They deflect. They withdraw. But underneath all of it? There’s a boy.

A boy who wasn’t seen, wasn’t heard, wasn’t allowed to be soft.

A boy who learned that vulnerability was a liability, so he buried it under anger, withdrawal, or control.

A boy who swore he’d never be like his parent, but still finds himself sounding just like them.

Right now, that boy is in the driver’s seat.

That’s why your partner feels dismissed. That’s why your kids avoid you when you’re in a mood. That’s why you keep promising to do better — but don’t.

You think you’re protecting yourself. But what you’re really doing is wounding everyone around you. And if you don’t deal with what’s inside you, they’re the ones who will pay the price.

That wounded boy doesn’t have to be in charge anymore. The real you — the grounded, loving, relational man — is waiting to take the wheel. Are you ready to put him back in charge?

You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to start showing up differently.

The people you love need you now.

12/08/2025

A new study published in Pediatrics reports that children who have smartphones by age 12 face increased risks of depression, obesity, and poor sleep.

Researchers found that the earlier a child receives a smartphone, the higher the risk becomes—rising by roughly 10% for each year earlier, starting as young as age 4.

The study looked at data from over 10,500 participants between ages 9 and 16. Compared to kids without phones, 12-year-old smartphone owners showed a 1.3× higher risk of depression, a 1.4× higher risk of obesity, and a 1.6× higher chance of inadequate sleep.

Even children who first received a phone at 13—after not having one the previous year—still demonstrated worse mental health and sleep outcomes. While the research shows correlation rather than proven causation, experts say the results align with long-standing concerns about early exposure to smartphones.

Researchers advise parents to have intentional conversations with their children—and ideally with pediatricians as well—before deciding on a first phone.

They also stress the importance of setting firm limits and healthy guidelines to support a child’s overall well-being.

12/03/2025

New research using MRI scans shows that one common habit in your baby’s first year can shrink the part of the brain responsible for emotional safety. This area is crucial for trust, attachment, and emotional regulation.

Shockingly, 94% of parents do this habit daily, believing it is helping their child. While screens, sleep training, or formula often get blamed, this hidden behavior quietly affects the brain’s development in ways that may last a lifetime.

The habit involves frequent emotional withdrawal, ignoring a baby’s cries, or failing to respond consistently to distress. Babies rely on caregivers to feel safe. When the brain learns that emotional signals are not met with support, it adapts by reducing growth in the emotional safety circuits.

Experts emphasize that responsive parenting, comforting, acknowledging, and gently interacting with your baby, promotes optimal brain development and long-term emotional health. Even small moments of connection, like holding, talking, or soothing your baby, strengthen these neural pathways.

Understanding this hidden risk allows parents to adjust daily routines and foster a secure, emotionally healthy start for their child.

12/03/2025

Be firm and kind while consistently enforcing rules and boundaries when they are young. If you wait to enforce boundaries and rules when they are preteens, or teens, this process will be much more challenging!

12/02/2025

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