10/20/2025
💜 A Healing Goodbye 💜
When my thirteen-year-old dog, Zeus, passed away twelve days ago, I didn’t realize at first what I was truly losing—or rather, releasing.
Zeus wasn’t just my dog. He was my companion and protector during one of the darkest chapters of my life. I was in an abusive relationship when I adopted him at 18 weeks old and later he would come to stand between me or the boys and my Ex when his anger would filled the room. He watched over me and my boys when I couldn’t watch over them (when I worked) or myself.
After Zeus passed, my body broke down. I ended up in the hospital with a severe panic attack that caused my heart to release cardiac proteins, and that led to medical leave from my school bus driver job. (Its was almost like the universe knew it had to throw a wrench in the gears to make me slow down)
The stress triggered my autoimmune responses, and I couldn’t understand why I was physically falling apart alongside the grief.
But this morning, I woke up understanding.
My body was purging the last remnants of the person I was back when I first adopted Zeus—the coping mechanisms, the people pleasing, the fear that made me listen for clues as to the way my then boyfriend came home and decide who I needed to be to stay safe. (If you've been in this kind of abusive situation then YOU KNOW exactly what I'm talking about!)
Zeus was my last tether to that version of me.
And with his passing, I’m finally letting her go.
Ironically, I had just bought a big piece of property and a home where his hyperactive soul was able to run free! And he did for a little while!
And maybe he still does 🥹 —because we still catch glimpses of him out of the corner of our eyes, chasing squirrels and digging in the dirt. 🥰
It hasn’t escaped me that my mom passed in 2020, after telling me she was at peace knowing I was with Ron—a good, loyal man who would protect and care for us. And now, Zeus too has left, knowing the same. 🥹 He would never have left my side if he wasn't 100% sure I was safe! 💞 🐾
I woke up this morning with tears and gratitude—realizing how truly blessed I’ve been to have souls surrounding me who loved me so fiercely that they couldn’t leave until they knew I was safe, loved, and finally free! 🪽
My body is purging the pain of loss, yes—but also the weight of survival. 💪
Because healing isn’t always about the pieces we get back. 🧩
Sometimes it’s about saying thank you and goodbye to the ones that once kept us safe, but no longer serve who we’ve become. 🧡 🫂