Capital Psychology

11/16/2025

True emotional repair means acknowledging how your behavior impacted your partner, validating their pain, and taking responsibility without defensiveness. It means saying, “I understand why you feel that way. I want to know more. I want to do better.”
When we can hold our partner’s feelings with empathy instead of shame, we create the emotional safety that allows trust to rebuild and connection to grow stronger.

11/14/2025

11/13/2025

Following today’s series on the five Protective Responses, I wanted to share an additional reflection — one that comes from over 30 years of working in schools and supporting children through dysregulation.

Sometimes, when a child’s flight response is activated and they’re prevented from escaping — being stopped, cornered, or told to stay put — the nervous system shifts into fight.
Not from aggression, but from fear.
When the way out is blocked, the body switches from “I need to get safe” to “I have to defend myself.”

Over the years, I’ve advised schools to create safe spaces to run to, rather than restraining or blocking a child in distress.
A pre-agreed, calm space — where adults know where the child is and can offer quiet supervision — allows the nervous system to regulate before re-engagement.

This can be supported through a simple social story (depending on age and understanding), helping the child know when, how, and where they can take space safely.
When safety is predictable, the need to fight often disappears.

You can also explore our Timeline of a Meltdown visual to understand how these protective responses unfold in real time — printer-friendly A4 portrait and landscape versions available via Linktree Shop in Bio ⬇️

11/13/2025

When a neurodivergent child reaches meltdown, it’s rarely “out of nowhere”.

There is always a build-up.

Understanding the timeline helps us respond with empathy, attunement and support — not punishment or shame.

11/07/2025

11/05/2025

November is Early Childhood Mental Health Awareness Month. The early years matter for feelings, focus, and connection. Many children will need support at some point, and families do better when simple, evidence informed tools are easy to find and use. Communities can start conversations, share resources, and help kids build skills that last.

11/03/2025

🙏🏻❤️

10/29/2025

🙏🏻❤️

Before a child can calm themselves, they first need to experience calm with someone.
Co-regulation is the bridge — it’s how children borrow our calm to find their own.

When adults stay steady through storms of big feelings, we’re not just managing behaviour — we’re wiring the brain for emotional safety and self-control.

Explore practical ways to support co-regulation and help children manage big feelings with our Managing Big Feelings Toolkit for Parents & Educators. Link in comments or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

10/22/2025

WHEN I COME OUT OF SCHOOL…

I’ve held it together all day — smiling when I didn’t feel OK, copying others so I could fit in, keeping my stims small and hidden.

So when I come out of school…
Please don’t ask me to talk straight away.
Please don’t tell me how good I was.
Please just let me rest, be quiet, and feel safe again.

Want to understand more about masking and neurodivergent wellbeing?

Explore the full Masking Toolkit by The Contented Child for visuals, guides, and practical tools that help uncover what’s behind the mask — and support children to feel safe being their true selves. Link in comments ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in our Bio.

NOTE
Some children do mask so competently that it can be hard to get a diagnosis - that is why I created Meet My Brain: Power & the Tricky Bits. Link in comments.