Amanda Fry, Birth + Postpartum Doula

03/06/2023

“I Won’t Hold Your Baby

…unless you ask me to, in which case, I will snuggle and cuddle your baby as much as you want me to.

I never ask my clients if I can hold their baby. In fact, I rarely ever touch my client’s baby if I can help it. Sounds sort of like the opposite of what you might picture of a doula, right? We must all be birth crazy, baby obsessed women who just want to cover babies in kisses and love and get an emotional high from attending births?

Not this doula.

I LOVE attending births. Call me crazy, but getting those middle of the night calls is one of my favorite parts of this job. I get to listen to someone at their most vulnerable times - the excitement, the hesitation, the nervousness of the unknown. Being able to provide some comfort, reassurance and continuity of care to the people I work with is so important to me (and them!)

Rushing off in the night, quietly getting myself ready, getting in the car and heading off to their home or hospital makes me feel like I’m on a secret birth mission that nobody around me knows about. When I arrive I fall as seamlessly as I can into the rhythm of the birth and start supporting my clients in whatever way they need most.

When the baby arrives I step aside and leave room for the new parents to discover their baby. I try and grab some photos (I’m not a birth photographer though, so keep your expectations in check!) and then I only step in if my client needs me for some reason.

Why does that matter? Why won’t I ask to hold your baby? Simply because: they are yours, not mine. I want you to be able to hold your baby as close as you want, for as long as you want without anyone interrupting that time. There will be enough people coming along in the next few hours and weeks who need to take that baby out of your arms for whatever reason, and tons of friends and family who will offer help by “holding the baby”.

Instead, I want to hold you, whether that’s in my arms, in my heart or my thoughts. By supporting and “holding” you, I don’t need to hold your baby. But if you ask me to, I would LOVE to.”

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02/23/2023

A photo showing droplets of breast milk fending off armies of harmful bacteria in Petri dishes is going viral on Facebook.⁣
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The photo, posted by a biology student in England, features nine Petri dishes completely colonized with the bacteria M. Luteus, except in the center, where tiny puddles of breast milk have created what looks like “moats” of protection around themselves.⁣
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The student, Vicky Green, said she had similar results with Petri dishes full of e.Coli and the dreaded anti-biotic resistant “super bug” MRSA.⁣
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“The white spots in the middle are discs soaked in two samples of breastmilk,” Green wrote in the caption of her post. “See the clear bit around the discs ― that’s where the proteins in the milk have inhibited the bacteria!”⁣
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An article from YourPediatrician.com explains how this is possible:⁣
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“About 80 percent of the cells in breast milk are macrophages, cells that kill bacteria, fungi and viruses. Breast-fed babies are protected, in varying degrees, from a number of illnesses, including pneumonia, botulism, bronchitis, staphylococcal infections, influenza, ear infections, and German measles. Furthermore, mothers produce antibodies to whatever disease is present in their environment, making their milk custom-designed to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well.”⁣
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What’s even more impressive is that the samples of milk in the photos came from the mother of a 15-month-old and a 3-year-old, providing further evidence that breast milk continues to protect against illness long beyond infancy.

02/18/2023

02/11/2023

02/09/2023

‼️‼️

Anyone who has tried to submit a review of services, submit a consultation request, or access their contracts - you may have been running into technical difficulties.

I have NOT been able to receive any of these items in the last week or so and I receive no notification that you’re making an attempt to submit anything. I’m not sure why, and I’m working with the platform to get it figured out. In the meantime, if you’ve been trying to contact me or submit anything, please shoot me a text or message so we can get it figured out!

Thanks everyone ❤️❤️

02/06/2023

02/06/2023

Everyone always talks about boundaries postpartum, which is super important. But what about while you’re actually in labor?

How many moms can look back on their birth and wish their environment had been a bit different - because they didn’t set expectations?

I’m here to tell you that you are allowed to have the final say in how your labor and birth looks. Not just intervention wise, but environment and atmosphere.

Want your sister there? Yes! Don’t want your mother in-law? Great! Want your husband by your head only while pushing? Cool! Request no personal conversations during active labor? Perfect! Don’t want your phone blowing up with “are they here yet?” messages? I feel you!

Establish these boundaries early. Take some time during your 3rd trimester and write them down. Concisely and firmly. Send them to your family. Designate an “updates” person to avoid those annoying texts. If someone’s presence in your labor is bothering you, tell them to step out (or have someone else do it).

Your birth space is vital. Let’s create an atmosphere and environment conducive with peace and love - however that looks to *you*.

💛

01/24/2023

Imagine starting off your life floating in a tub of warm water, being cradled by your mother as she studies every beautiful detail of your face. Time stops for every person in the room as they marvel over your arrival - everyone has been patiently waiting for you and finally you are here. Still attached to your first home of the placenta, you explore the new boundaries around your body, now seemingly endless. You stretch out your legs and arms for the first time and fill up your fresh new lungs with air. You collect details of your new surroundings, your new life on earth. So far your perception of this world is warmth, still water, your mothers hands and arms, her voice saying “I love you,” dim lights and no sense of urgency. There is plenty of time to transition to this new life. There is love and safety here. You rest in the knowing that you are cared for and you are with your family. Your mother holds you close and gently sways you in the warm water you were born into & you relax deeply, your breathing calm and steady.

Now imagine a whole generation of babies born into this same energy of slowness, love, and safety. 🤍



Beautiful photo by Fill Your Cup Birth + Wellness

01/16/2023

Exactly two years ago today, I woke up at 12:30 am with a stomach ache.
I was 40 weeks + 5 days pregnant and thought there was no end in sight. I got up to use the bathroom, finally feeling better I cuddled up in bed next to my then 1 year old and tried going back to sleep.
Then the contractions started, and they were intense. I laid through two and couldn’t handle them.
I walked back to the bathroom and swayed a bit. I wasn’t quite sure if this was it as I had been experiencing prodromal labor for about a week at this point. I decided to take out my contraction timer & hop in the shower. I figured, if these aren’t real, the shower will soothe me enough to go back to bed.
Well, sure enough, it didn’t work. I got out of the shower and stared at my son thinking about how excited I was to bring him his little brother soon. I figured I had lots of time so I let him and Jesus sleep while I labored peacefully alone. It was at this point that I the contraction app warned me to head to the hospital. My contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting for 1 full minute. I decided to ignore it as it was only about an hour since they started.
2:30 am rolls around and I’ve been swaying to my music, doing the laundry, loading the dishwasher. The contractions start to intensify some more and I panic a bit because the weather is horrible. I had an hour drive to our hospital but I also didn’t want to labor there long, so I wasn’t sure when to leave. But I had only been in labor about 2 hours.
3:30 am rolls around and the switch flips. The contractions are INTENSE. I’m barely able to speak through them and I’m stuck backwards as I labor on the toilet alone. I decide to call the hospital to let them know I’m coming & call my mom to come over.
I’ll never forget going upstairs to wake up Jesus to tell him I’m in labor and his response was “how do you know”? 😂 (I’m sure he was tired of hearing me *think* I was in labor all week)
*continued in comments*