Allie Jayne Reed, LMHC

Allie Jayne Reed, LMHC Allie Jayne Reed is a licensed therapist based in Washington.

She helps women who were raised by emotionally immature parents overcome anxiety & stop people pleasing in order to rediscover their Authentic Self using DBT-PE & spirituality.

One of the most painful beliefs many sensitive, high-functioning women carry is this: “Maybe I’m just too sensitive.”And...
02/28/2026

One of the most painful beliefs many sensitive, high-functioning women carry is this: “Maybe I’m just too sensitive.”

And it makes sense that you’d wonder that, especially if that's literally what you were told/ the messaging you received, or if your feelings were dismissed, minimized, or treated like a problem growing up. It would also make sense if your reactions to ab*$3 &/or invalidation were then invalidated too.

But sensitivity itself isn’t a problem. In the right environment, sensitivity develops to simply looks like empathy, intuition, emotional depth, and meaningful connection.

The real dilemma usually comes from the combination of a sensitive nervous system + an invalidating or traumatic environment. When emotional safety isn’t consistent, the nervous system adapts through hyper-vigilance, anxiety, shame, and self-doubt. Not because you’re weak, but because you had to survive without the support you needed. These are all reactions to the environment paired with your biological sensitivity.

This means your sensitivity isn’t why you feel stuck. Unhealed trauma is.

As trauma heals, many women discover that the very sensitivity that was once judged becomes one of their greatest strengths - something that allows for steadiness, boundaries, self-trust, and deeply connected relationships.

You were never too much. You deserved more support. 🤍

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & overcome anxiety, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
, DBT-PE, EMDR therapy, adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery, complex trauma, traumatic invalidation, DBT therapist

Healing from childhood trauma isn’t about coping harder or becoming more perfect. It’s about slowly learning to honor yo...
02/26/2026

Healing from childhood trauma isn’t about coping harder or becoming more perfect. It’s about slowly learning to honor your limits, feel your emotions safely, choose relationships that feel reciprocal, and stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace.

In my work as a trauma therapist, I support women who were raised by emotionally immature parents & now feel anxious, exhausted, or disconnected from their authentic selves. Together, we use trauma-focused therapies to help your nervous system heal, your boundaries feel clearer & embodied, and your life feel more like your own.

If this is the year you want real healing - not just better coping - I invite you to schedule a free intro call at the link in my bio. I’d be honored to support you. 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!

If you often feel responsible for other people’s emotions, stuck in guilt, pulled to rescue, or caught in cycles of blam...
02/24/2026

If you often feel responsible for other people’s emotions, stuck in guilt, pulled to rescue, or caught in cycles of blame & conflict - you may have learned relationship patterns shaped by something called the drama triangle.

In many dysfunctional families with emotionally immature families, children are unconsciously placed into roles like the rescuer, the blamed one, or the powerless one. This is the result of dysfunction in a family system where EIPs lack the capacity to self-reflect, have low empathy, and lack relationship repair skills.

The challenge is that those same patterns can follow you into adulthood, showing up as people-pleasing, over-functioning, feeling powerless, shutting down, chaotic relationships, or exhaustion from constantly managing everyone else’s feelings.

Healing isn’t about blaming the past. It’s about learning new relational patterns built on boundaries, regulation, mutuality, and repair. It's about learning how to step out of the roles & handle interpersonal dynamics effectively.

If you're ready to heal your wounds from & learn how to handle difficult dynamics without falling into old patterns, then tap the link in my bio & schedule an intro call with me!

Follow for more on healing & EIPs

For many women healing from childhood relational trauma, the deepest desire isn’t perfection - it’s reconnection.Reconne...
02/21/2026

For many women healing from childhood relational trauma, the deepest desire isn’t perfection - it’s reconnection.

Reconnection to rest, to truth, to values, boundaries.. to a self that was never fully allowed to exist.

A “Life Worth Living” isn’t built through pressure or performance. It comes after healing trauma. It’s built through small, steady choices & guided interventions that honor your body, your needs, and what genuinely matters to you.

It's sleeping enough, using your time for joy instead of recovery, letting others feel disappointed without abandoning yourself, choosing honesty in relationships, allowing peace instead of constant urgency.

These shifts often begin internally while targeting trauma in therapy, but they’re supported & strengthened through the work that's done once trauma is cleared. In DBT-PE, these are known as 'Stage 3' targets after 'Stage 2' (trauma treatment).

Over time, life stops feeling like something you survive & starts feeling like something you’re truly living. It's values consistent. It's wise minded. It's stable & centered yet flexible. It's a blend of emotion, reason, me, you, staying connected even in times of conflict or stress, and walking the middle path.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & realign with your Authentic Self, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
emdr therapist, cycle breakers, adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery

There’s a lot of misinformation out there & myths people hold about EMDR therapy, so let’s clear a few things up.EMDR is...
02/19/2026

There’s a lot of misinformation out there & myths people hold about EMDR therapy, so let’s clear a few things up.

EMDR is one of the most researched trauma treatments in the world & is widely recommended for PTSD & trauma or stress related symptoms.

EMDR isn’t hypnosis, mind control, or something that forces you to relive every painful detail. It’s a deeply researched, evidence-based trauma treatment that helps the brain & nervous system process experiences that feel stuck in the present.

This approach can be especially powerful for women carrying childhood relational trauma, emotional neglect, abuse, chronic anxiety, or shame, particularly when insight-based therapy alone hasn’t created the relief they hoped for.

In my private practice, I specialize in trauma therapy for anxious, high-functioning women who were raised by emotionally immature parents. Together, we use approaches like EMDR or DBT-PE to help the nervous system heal, memories feel less overwhelming, and your authentic self flourish without fear.

EMDR may be especially helpful if you:
- feel easily triggered & emotionally flooded
- carry shame & painful memories from childhood
- understand your past but still feel stuck

If you’re curious whether this kind of work could support you, you’re invited to schedule a **free intro call** at the link in my bio. I’d be honored to connect. 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!

If you feel like a different version of yourself depending on who you’re around, you’re not broken & you’re definitely n...
02/17/2026

If you feel like a different version of yourself depending on who you’re around, you’re not broken & you’re definitely not alone.

Many women raised by emotionally immature parents in dysfunctional systems learned early that authenticity wasn’t always safe. Feelings could be dismissed or punished. Needs could be ignored or judged. Individuality could be threatening to the family system or their very survival. So the nervous system adapts in the only way it can in a dysfunctional system: by complying & falling into classic roles that preserve connection & reduce conflict.

Peacemaker. Achiever. Caretaker. Invisible one. Problem child/ truth teller. Normal survival strategies, but not your full identity.

Over time, this adaptation can look like anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, numbness, or a sense of not knowing who you truly are underneath everything you do for others.

But disconnection from your Authentic Self isn’t permanent. What was shaped in early relationships can be healed in safe, attuned ones.

As trauma work unfolds, many women begin to feel something unfamiliar but deeply right: clarity in their needs, steadiness in their voice, honesty in their relationships, and a growing sense of *coming home to themselves.*

Your real self was never gone. She was waiting for safety to learn how to be.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & rediscover your Authentic Self, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery

Many intelligent, self-aware women use AI to understand their emotions, make sense of childhood experiences, or find lan...
02/14/2026

Many intelligent, self-aware women use AI to understand their emotions, make sense of childhood experiences, or find language for what they’ve been carrying. Sometimes it seems like AI has replaced TikTok, another common resource women I work with have used to find support & insight for their experiences & mental health.

Truthfully, there’s nothing wrong with that. Insight & reflection can be meaningful first steps.

But trauma isn’t only stored in thoughts. It lives in the nervous system, in emotional memory, and in the body’s learned sense of danger. Which is why understanding your past or experiences doesn’t always stop the anxiety, triggers, or exhaustion in the present. Insight alone doesn’t work, and it can’t interrupt patterns deep within you that are maintaining PTSD.

AI can offer education, perspective, and helpful words. What it can’t offer is attuned human presence, nervous system co-regulation, or deliver evidence-based trauma interventions inside a safe therapeutic relationship - the places where deeper healing tends to happen.

I’m not knocking AI - I’m saying it can’t replace trauma therapy & at the same time can be useful for other solutions.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know *why* I feel this way… but I still feel stuck,” you’re not broken. Your system may simply need support that goes beyond insight & AI generated prompts or practices. & that kind of healing is possible.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & overcome anxiety, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
, DBT-PE, EMDR therapy, adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery

EMDR is one of the most researched & effective treatments for trauma, and for many women with childhood relational wound...
02/12/2026

EMDR is one of the most researched & effective treatments for trauma, and for many women with childhood relational wounds, it can be a turning point in healing.

Rather than only talking through the past, EMDR helps the brain & nervous system reprocess painful experiences so they no longer feel immediate, overwhelming, or defining. Memories begin to feel distant instead of activating. Anxiety softens. Shame loosens. The body learns that the danger is over.

This approach is especially supportive for women who feel emotionally flooded, triggered by memories, or stuck in patterns that insight alone hasn’t shifted.

At the same time, good trauma therapy is always about the *right fit*. Some people need stabilization, treatment for other mental health diagnoses, and more intensive treatment before EMDR would be recommended. If you're unsure, always consult with a professional!

You deserve healing that is both gentle & evidence-based. Real change is possible.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & overcome anxiety, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery

You were never meant to survive your life by coping harder.Many women with relational trauma believe their anxiety gets ...
02/10/2026

You were never meant to survive your life by coping harder.

Many women with relational trauma believe their anxiety gets worse when they set boundaries, say no, or otherwise disappoint others, so they conclude the solution is to keep pleasing others & just manage the exhaustion & stress that follows more effectively.

But anxiety often isn’t created by having needs of your own. It’s created by the *absence* of them.

If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, you may have learned that safety depended on staying agreeable, self-sufficient, and low-maintenance. So when you begin to take up space, your body reacts with fear, even when nothing dangerous is actually happening.

That fear isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong. It’s evidence of an old survival pattern being activated. & survival patterns can heal.

As trauma work unfolds, not pleasing others & prioritizing your own needs stops feeling like loss & starts feeling like clarity. Relationships become more reciprocal. Rest feels allowed. Your body no longer has to live in constant overdrive.

You don’t need to cope better. You deserve to feel safer being fully yourself.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & realign with your Authentic Self, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery, boundaries

Imagine your mom guilt tripping, looking to you to soothe her, and feeling compassion for her while also holding boundar...
02/07/2026

Imagine your mom guilt tripping, looking to you to soothe her, and feeling compassion for her while also holding boundaries. You don't over-function to try to make her feel better, while still remaining compassionate in your delivery & communications.

Imagine your dad responding with explanations of why he does what he does or says what he says when you ask him if he could stop, and still feeling empathy for him & his explanations.

Imagine holding frustration, with sadness, with love, with care all at once; keeping your side of the street clean & allowing others to experience their emotions as they will without abandoning yourself, over-functioning, or giving in to what they're wanting from you that's not aligned with what you're wanting, needing, or able to give.

Not allowing yourself to be shaped by their reactions, but also not being unkind.

A lot of women who were raised by EIPs struggle to navigate this middle path, because it wasn't taught to them. EIPs live in a distorted reality, think in extremes, and tend to blame their emotions on others. In their world, their emotional needs come first. This is emotional immaturity.

So their daughters tend to teeter between extremes of compassion & empathy without limits or attention to their personal feelings or needs, OR becoming angry, judgmental, & highly rejecting of their EIPs, because it's too hard to find compassion at this point.

If this sounds like you, this is normal. There's nothing wrong. Healing trauma actually enables your nervous system to build capacity to be able to hold opposing truths at once - like compassion & accountability, empathy & boundaries, acceptance & asking for change.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!

trauma therapy, adult children of alcoholics, adult children of narcissists, intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma recovery

Growing up with emotionally immature parents often means dysfunction wasn’t labeled as dysfunction, it was just how thin...
02/03/2026

Growing up with emotionally immature parents often means dysfunction wasn’t labeled as dysfunction, it was just how things were. So as an adult, you may not feel traumatized… you may just feel confused, anxious, or constantly questioning yourself.

If these patterns were normal in your house growing up, you may believe 'this is what relationships look like'.

So later in life, you may tolerate dysfunctional patterns in relationships that are similar to what was normalized in your upbringing.

This isn't because you're broken, but because it's what you learned & what you adapted to.

Becoming aware of what was normalized is often the first step in healing relational trauma. You don't have to label your parents as 'bad' or judge them to acknowledge that there was dysfunction & the dynamics weren't effective.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & overcome anxiety, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
emotional neglect, people pleasers, high functioning anxiety, emotional dysregulation, attachment healing, childhood trauma healing, emdr therapy, dbt-pe, adult children of emotionally immature parents

DBT-PE was specifically built to treat complex trauma & PTSD co-occurring with other mental health disorders.Many women ...
02/02/2026

DBT-PE was specifically built to treat complex trauma & PTSD co-occurring with other mental health disorders.

Many women come to me after trying other trauma therapies saying that they never got to the actual targeted trauma interventions because the therapist told them they 'weren't ready', 'too anxious', needed to have nearly all their other problems squared away... even though the client was technically ready & stabilized for trauma interventions.

The truth is that therapist avoidance is one of the biggest barriers to trauma interventions being delivered.

What's unique about therapy grounded in DBT-PE is that it was built to treat complex mental health disorders, specifically for individuals with complex trauma, self-injurious & self-destructive behavior. DBT-PE trains clinicians to not only prepare clients for trauma treatment, but also not delay delivering the treatment if the client meets DBT-PE's readiness criteria.

DBT-PE is safe. Clients who participated in DBT-PE were actually less likely to act on destructive behavior urges. Not only that, DBT-PE is proven ~70% effective for treating PTSD.

Additionally, DBT-PE therapists typically meet weekly in a DBT consult team, to ensure their effectiveness in delivering the treatment.

If you feel like you're in trauma therapy & it's not quite going anywhere & you're ready to take action & participate in a safe, effective trauma therapy built to treat complex mental health diagnoses, you might want to consider working with a therapist trained in DBT-PE.

If you’re ready to heal your childhood wounds from emotionally immature parents & overcome anxiety, tap the link in my bio to schedule an intro call with me 🤍

Follow for more on healing from EIPs!
adult children of emotionally immature parents, trauma healing, trauma therapy, people pleasing, intergenerational trauma, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism, inner-child healing, childhood trauma recovery

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Seattle, WA

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Monday 11am - 6pm
Tuesday 11am - 6pm
Wednesday 11am - 6pm
Thursday 11am - 6pm

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+12064854332

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