03/18/2026
Understanding grief isn't one-size-fits-all has been transformative in the field of bereavement support. Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin's research on grieving styles - intuitive (emotion-focused), instrumental (thinking/doing-focused), and blended (combination of both) - helps to validate the different ways people process loss.
When someone's natural grieving style is met with social pressure to grieve differently, they may experience dissonant grief, creating an additional layer of complexity during an already difficult time. By recognizing and accepting these different grieving styles, we can create space for more authentic grieving experiences.
Someone who processes loss through activities and problem-solving is just as valid as someone who needs to express their emotions openly. As we build a more grief-literate society, we empower people to honor their natural grieving style without judgment. When we stop expecting everyone to grieve the same way, we reduce the risk of dissonant grief and support healthier bereavement journeys for all.
