Secure Connections Coaching For Couples

12/22/2025

What an honor to stand on the TEDx Hartford stage. I still can’t get over it.

Immense gratitude to my incredible coaches, the inspiring speakers I shared the stage with, and the organizers who poured so much care into this event.

Thank you to the audience in the room and everyone tuning in online. Your presence and energy made this moment possible.

This journey asked me to walk my own talk, especially when my survival brain wanted to perfect, perform, and prove. I’m so grateful for the lessons, the growth, and the community that made it all possible.

Because the message I shared is simple and urgent:

We don’t need more fighting about who’s wrong.

We need more connection: connection across difference, across stress, across fear.

If this resonates, I invite you to watch the full talk at the link in my bio.

Then, please share it with one friend who might need this reminder today. Let’s get the word out and build more connection, together. ❤️

12/19/2025

Today is my last day in the office before the holidays, and I'm sitting with something I need to share.

This week alone, I've received four different messages from clients (some from years ago, some recent!) expressing gratitude for the work we've done together. They're writing about reconnection, about feeling more alive in their relationships, about choosing differently.

I'm not sharing this to brag or promote. I'm sharing because I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

This year has been full: writing the book, preparing for the TEDx stage, creating courses and retreats, showing up for clients week after week. All of it in service of one thing: helping people reconnect to themselves and each other, feel healthier, align more powerfully with what actually matters.

And today, at the end of my work year, I'm deeply grateful for the honor of being a support to others in that journey.

So as you head into the holidays, my wish for you is this: Surround yourself with the people you love. Show up authentically. Let yourself be seen. And know that real connection with yourself, and with others is always possible.

Happy holidays. Rest well. You've earned it. 🔥

12/18/2025

"We're all doing it. Performing 'fine' even when we're not.

Even when we're tired. Even when we're hurt. Even when we're lonely in a room full of people we love.
I see it constantly in my work—couples sitting across from each other, both saying 'we're good,' both feeling completely disconnected. Friends texting 'all good here!' while silently struggling. Partners asking 'how was your day?' and getting 'fine' as an answer, when what they really want is to know what's actually happening inside.

Here's what I know: That performance? It costs us. It costs us real connection. It costs us being truly seen for who we actually are. And it costs the people we love the chance to show up for us, to support us, to know us.

We think we're protecting the relationship by keeping it light, by not burdening anyone with our truth. But what we're actually doing is building a wall. One 'I'm fine' at a time.

But what if this week you stopped?

What if instead of the automatic 'I'm fine,' you got honest? What if you let someone see the real you—the messy, uncertain, still-figuring-it-out version? The one who doesn't have all the answers. The one who's scared sometimes. The one who needs help.

That's where the magic happens. That's where real connection lives. Not in the performance. In the pause. In the honesty. In the choice to show up differently.

So I'm asking you: Where are you performing? With who? And what would it feel like to stop—just for one conversation this week?

Because your people don't need you to be fine. They need you to be real.

Link in bio for the full year-end challenge and the practices that actually create lasting connection. 🔥

12/17/2025

We know, the “save the date” carousel is a little extra….but honestly, if there was ever a time to make a big deal about listening, it’s now.

The world feels like it’s falling apart. Everyone’s talking, nobody’s really hearing each other, and genuine connection is harder to find than ever.

We’re Carolyn Sharp and Erin Snow, and we believe with everything we’ve got that actual, real listening (the kind most of us take for granted) is one of the things that can help bring us back together.

That’s why we created S**U: Learn Listening That Will Save Your Relationships. This isn’t just another workshop. It’s science, it’s practice, it’s laughter, and it’s honest conversations about how to really show up for the people you care about.

Whether you’re a teen tired of being misunderstood, a parent desperate to connect, a boss wishing your team would finally come together, or a friend exhausted by all the noise, you’re not alone. We’re here to help you build the skill that could change everything.

Come for the fun, stay for the real change.

Feb 8: General Session
Mar 8: Parents & Teens
Mar 22: Partners & Spouses
More dates for more groups coming!

📍Seacoast Listening Lounge, Hampton, NH.

$79/person or $139/pair for each workshop.
DM us for $20 off and first dibs. Only 20 spots!

Save the date. Save your relationships. 💌

12/17/2025

Can we talk about the toilet paper roll for a second?

Because it's never actually about the toilet paper roll.

It's about the 47 times you've asked, and they still don't get it. It's about feeling unseen. It's about wondering if they even care enough to listen. It's about the small resentment that builds when you don't say anything....because 'it's not worth the fight.'

But here's what I know: It IS worth the fight. Not because of the toilet paper. But because of what the toilet paper represents.

Every time we avoid a small truth (every 'it's fine, never mind,' every eye roll we swallow, every frustrated sigh we hide) we're building a wall between us and the person we love.

And then we wonder why we feel disconnected.

So here's my challenge for you: Stop avoiding the small stuff. That thing that annoys you? That pattern you've noticed? That way they said something that hurt? Say it. Gently. Honestly. With care.
Because real connection isn't built in the big moments. It's built in the small moments when you choose honesty over comfort, when you choose the relationship over being right.

What small truth have you been avoiding? And what would change if you said it this week?

Link in bio for the full year-end challenge and the practices that actually work. 🔥

12/16/2025

Real connection doesn't happen by accident. It happens when we pause, get honest, and practice showing up differently.

Here are 5 practices from the Fire It Up framework that actually create lasting change:
Safety & Emotional Honesty — Do you feel safe to be yourself? Where are you tiptoeing around truth?
Communication: Go Beyond Words — Most of what we say isn't words. It's tone, body language, energy. This week, slow down and actually listen.

Radical Honesty & Repair — Stop avoiding small truths. They build resentment. Share one difficult thing this week. Ask them to just listen.

Mutuality & Reciprocity — Put down the mental scoreboard. Do something kind today with no strings attached.

Conflict: Growth, Not Winning — Disagreements aren't battles. They're opportunities to know each other better and strengthen your bond.

This year-end moment is your invitation: Stop performing. Start practicing.

Which one are you going to start with? Save this, share it, and let's build real connection together.
Link in bio for the full challenge. 🔥

12/15/2025

The world wants us to look like we have it all together. But the real work, the actual fuel for happiness, comes from pausing, getting honest, and choosing to show up differently.

This year-end moment? It's the perfect time to ask yourself: Am I performing 'fine'—or am I actually showing up?

Because here's what I know after 30 years: The relationships that thrive aren't the ones that look perfect on Instagram. They're the ones where people get real, admit the mess, and choose connection over performance.

Your people need the real you. Not the polished version. Not the one who has it all figured out.

So this week, I'm challenging you to something radical: Stop tiptoeing around honesty. Start showing up fully.

What's one small truth you've been avoiding? What would change if you said it out loud?
Link in bio for the full year-end challenge. 🔥

12/12/2025

I shared some thoughts about connection, survival, and why we fight so hard over our differences.

The core insight? Connection isn’t a luxury—it’s survival.

Disagreements are real and painful, but even when we strongly disagree, we still need each other. Leaning into challenges, staying curious, letting go of control, and choosing connection over being right are what help us thrive together. The moments that push us the most often teach us the most about resilience, empathy, and shared humanity.

Right now, more than ever, we’re being reminded: we need each other—especially the people who see things differently. Choosing connection isn’t naive—it’s survival.

12/11/2025

Back last summer, one of my TEDx coaches asked me: 'What's your hope for this talk? Are you trying to sell books? Gain clients? Get recognition?'

I laughed and said, 'Actually, my hope is much more grandiose. I want to change the world. I want people to be kinder and more curious.'

He was reading my draft at the time and saw the inclusion of the now infamous toilet paper. And he was genuinely concerned. 'If Harvard sees this,' he said, 'they won't want to engage with the toilet paper woman. They’ll hire the serious psychologist over the toilet paper lady!'

And you know what? He wasn't necessarily wrong about Harvard….

But here's what I knew: the toilet paper isn't silly. It's real. It's the place where so many of us actually live: in those small, mundane, everyday moments where we can't figure out how to relate across difference. It's not abstract: It's your kitchen, your dinner table, your family group chat.

So I kept it.

And the outcome? People are messaging me saying they needed to hear this. Not because I'm polished or Ivy League-approved. But because I showed up in my unorthodox, a little kooky, deeply committed to the idea that connection is always possible way.

Here's what I know for sure: I don't need Harvard to change the world (Sorry Harvard!).

I just hope for one person to get curious about how they could grow through their relationships. I hope for one conversation where someone chooses connection over being right. I hope for one moment where someone remembers that even across profound difference, we still need each other.

If I help one person see that, I have succeeded. Because that is the rock in the pond that ripples out.
And if my organic, sometimes messy, always authentic way of teaching reaches the people who need to hear it most? That's not a failure. That's exactly the point.

The world doesn't need more polished. It needs more real.🤍

"After all, it was never really about the toilet paper. It is about whether we will keep choosing each other.”

12/10/2025

Still processing my TEDxHartford experience….3 days ago, I stood on the TEDxHartford stage and delivered a 13-minute talk about connection, survival, and why we fight so hard over our differences.

The core message? Connection is not a luxury. It is survival.

And the messages I've gotten since then keep saying the same thing: 'I needed to hear that right now.'

Here's what strikes me: We all know the divisions are real. They're painful. They're fundamental. We disagree on things that matter deeply.

And we're exhausted from fighting.

Not because the disagreements aren't real. But because we've forgotten that even when we disagree in profound ways, we still need each other. We still have to find a way to live together, work together, build communities together.

Disconnection feels safer when we're scared. But it's not. It's the opposite of survival.

What if the answer isn't pretending our differences don't exist? What if it's learning to stay curious, compassionate, and connected even in the middle of them?

That's what I learned in the six-month process of creating this talk. Not from the 13 minutes on stage, but from leaning toward the challenge instead of away from it. From letting go of control. From choosing connection over being right.

The greatest teacher is always the challenge.

And right now, we're all being challenged to remember: we need each other. Even—especially—the people who see things differently.

That's not naive. That's survival.

12/09/2025

36 hours ago, I stood on the TEDxHartford stage.

13 minutes, 34 seconds.

One message: Connection is not a luxury. It is survival.

But here's what I didn't expect: the process of creating the talk taught me more than the talk itself.

Because when we lean toward the challenge instead of away from it—when we stop fighting for control and start working within the discomfort—we don't just solve problems.

We become someone new.

Whether it's a partner who won't listen, a colleague who gives tough feedback, or a process that asks you to let go of control...

The challenge is always the teacher.

In my latest blog post, I share what happened when I stopped resisting the TED process and started leaning in, and what it taught me about connection, growth, and the choice we all face every single day.
What challenge are you fighting right now?

And what would happen if you leaned toward it instead of away?

40 hours ago, I stood on the TEDxHartford stage and delivered a 13-minute, 34-second talk about connection, survival, and why we fight so hard over toilet paper.The core message? Connection is not a luxury. It is survival.And our brains, wired for survival, often work against us, turning minor disag...

12/08/2025

Out of the office today, still recovering from the amazing experience this weekend!

My heart is full and I’m so grateful for everyone who made the event such a big success. It was fun, inspiring, and honestly a little overwhelming in the best way possible.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more updates, more stories, and more creativity.

For now, just taking a little breather and enjoying this happy, successful moment.