Secure Connections Coaching For Couples

Secure Connections Coaching For Couples I am Carolyn Sharp and I help busy, disconnected go from blah to bliss! Message me to learn more!

I describe myself as the Roy Kent of couples work because of my humor, directness and passion for what I do. Carolyn Sharp has over 25 years experience building healthy passionate relationships. She developed Secure Connections Coaching from her training and work with Stan Tatkin, founder of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). This approach views a couple’s dynamic through the lens of neurobiology, attachment theory, and arousal regulation to support couples in developing healthy and secure relationships. Based on Stan’s seminal work, Wired For Love, the coaching and retreats provide incredible opportunities for committed couples at all stages to create or deepen a successful foundation for a secure relationship. Through shared learning, facilitated exercises and private time together in the beautiful settings, couples will gain insight into one another and their patterns of interaction, and learn how to interpret and respond to one another in ways that lead deeper connection and intimacy.

One year ago today, Fire It Up entered the world.And honestly? The awards are gorgeous. The 5-star reviews feel amazing....
01/07/2026

One year ago today, Fire It Up entered the world.

And honestly? The awards are gorgeous. The 5-star reviews feel amazing. Seeing it on library shelves across the country... yeah, that's pretty cool.

But here's what really gets me: the emails. The messages. The people telling me they're thinking differently about their choices now. That they're finally having the conversations they've been avoiding. That they're choosing connection over being right. That they're actually seeing their partner, like really seeing them, maybe for the first time in years.

That's the fire.

One reader told me the book helped her understand why she keeps repeating the same argument with her husband. Another said it gave her permission to ask for what she actually needs (imagine that). Someone else shared that they finally understand their nervous system and their partner's in a way that changes literally everything.

This is what I dreamed about when I was writing this. Not bestseller lists. But real people, in real relationships, making real choices about connection. Doing the work. Getting curious. Choosing themselves and their people.

To everyone who's read Fire It Up, who's done the work, who's sent me a message about your journey... thank you. You're not just changing your own relationships. You're changing your families. Your communities. The world needs more secure, connected people. Period.

Here's to year two. Let's keep lighting fires.

With deep gratitude,
Carolyn

P.S. If you've been thinking about grabbing it, now's the time. Your relationship is worth it. Link in bio.

Ever catch yourself saying “I’m fine,” when you’re actually running on empty?Or assuming your partner, friend, or cowork...
01/03/2026

Ever catch yourself saying “I’m fine,” when you’re actually running on empty?

Or assuming your partner, friend, or coworker is “all good” because they look put together, when inside, they might be struggling too?

I’ve been there:
* Smiling on Zoom while feeling disconnected,
* Arguing over dishes when what we really needed was a hug,
* Missing a chance to check in with a friend because “they seem okay.”

This year, I’m challenging all of us:

Are we letting appearances and assumptions keep us at arm’s length?

Or are we brave enough to look past the surface, to ask the real questions, and to show up honestly even when it’s messy?

What might change if you paused before judging, or reached out instead of retreating?

Would your relationships shift? Would you feel more seen…or help someone else feel less alone?

If you’re ready to challenge the status quo and fuel real connection in 2026, I wrote this for you.

Tap to read the full post stories, prompts, and a challenge to help you show up for yourself and others, for real.

12/31/2025

This was a year of firsts and dream scenarios. From publishing my book to speaking at the New York Times, leading a retreat at Kripalu and getting to be on the TEDx stage, it was a year I am so deeply grateful for.

I got to share what I know, what I’m passionate about, and what I believe with my whole heart: relationships can transform lives, and a kinder, better world is built one intentional connection at a time.

I feel so much gratitude for the opportunities to speak, teach, write, lead retreats, and keep learning in public, all while being coached, supported, and surrounded by people who helped me rise to the moment.

I’m grateful to every person who read and reviewed Fire It Up and for the honor of the awards and recognition along the way.

I’m grateful for the colleagues and community who’ve supported the growth of my practice in Massachusetts and New York.

And I’m grateful, always, for my therapy and coaching clients who do the brave work of repair, truth-telling, and transformation.

If you’ve read this far, you’re likely someone who cares about healthy relationships too. Thank you for being here.

My take-home message as we head into 2026: don’t take any relationship for granted. Connect with intention. Choose curiosity, compassion, and connection again and again and again. ❤️

In 2026 I’ll be on social media less, but offering as much.

Join me at Kripalu or in Italy, come to a workshop or curated experience, or sign up for my newsletter where I’ll be sending my writing and all the ways to join me in person or online.

Wishing you love, health, peace and meaningful connections in 2026.

-Carolyn.

#2025

The secret to a happy holiday? Honestly, it’s not what the ads would have your focus on... When I think about my favorit...
12/24/2025

The secret to a happy holiday? Honestly, it’s not what the ads would have your focus on...

When I think about my favorite holidays growing up, it’s never the stuff I remember most. It’s the people. The laughter. The weird family traditions. The late-night talks or just being together, even if things weren’t perfect. Even the grief reminds me of the people that matter most.

As 2025 wraps up, I keep coming back to this : our relationships, the connections we have, that’s what makes our holidays and our day to day lives real, special, important.

Sometimes it’s easy and light, sometimes it’s challenging as hell, but either way, there’s always something to learn or some way we grow. The support, the learning, the grief, the adventures, even the arguments…they all count.

So, if you’re feeling the holiday chaos or wishing things were different, just try to notice what you’ve gained, what you’ve learned, and the ways you’ve shown up for each other. That’s always the real gift.

Sending you love, peace, silliness and a little extra grace this holiday season.

Carolyn

Ps: sometime I’ll tell you about those onesies and facemasks….

We think we’re fighting about the topic.Toilet paper. Dishes. Politics. Tone.But so often, it’s not about the thing.It’s...
12/23/2025

We think we’re fighting about the topic.

Toilet paper. Dishes. Politics. Tone.

But so often, it’s not about the thing.
It’s about survival brain taking the wheel, treating emotional threat like physical threat, and turning the person in front of us into the enemy.

If you’ve felt that in your body, you’re not broken.

You’re human.

And we can choose differently.

Watch the full TEDx talk at the link in my bio, and send it to a friend. Let’s spread connection, not more “who’s wrong” energy.

12/22/2025

What an honor to stand on the TEDx Hartford stage. I still can’t get over it.

Immense gratitude to my incredible coaches, the inspiring speakers I shared the stage with, and the organizers who poured so much care into this event.

Thank you to the audience in the room and everyone tuning in online. Your presence and energy made this moment possible.

This journey asked me to walk my own talk, especially when my survival brain wanted to perfect, perform, and prove. I’m so grateful for the lessons, the growth, and the community that made it all possible.

Because the message I shared is simple and urgent:

We don’t need more fighting about who’s wrong.

We need more connection: connection across difference, across stress, across fear.

If this resonates, I invite you to watch the full talk at the link in my bio.

Then, please share it with one friend who might need this reminder today. Let’s get the word out and build more connection, together. ❤️

Today is my last day in the office before the holidays, and I'm sitting with something I need to share.This week alone, ...
12/19/2025

Today is my last day in the office before the holidays, and I'm sitting with something I need to share.

This week alone, I've received four different messages from clients (some from years ago, some recent!) expressing gratitude for the work we've done together. They're writing about reconnection, about feeling more alive in their relationships, about choosing differently.

I'm not sharing this to brag or promote. I'm sharing because I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

This year has been full: writing the book, preparing for the TEDx stage, creating courses and retreats, showing up for clients week after week. All of it in service of one thing: helping people reconnect to themselves and each other, feel healthier, align more powerfully with what actually matters.

And today, at the end of my work year, I'm deeply grateful for the honor of being a support to others in that journey.

So as you head into the holidays, my wish for you is this: Surround yourself with the people you love. Show up authentically. Let yourself be seen. And know that real connection with yourself, and with others is always possible.

Happy holidays. Rest well. You've earned it. 🔥

12/18/2025

"We're all doing it. Performing 'fine' even when we're not.

Even when we're tired. Even when we're hurt. Even when we're lonely in a room full of people we love.
I see it constantly in my work—couples sitting across from each other, both saying 'we're good,' both feeling completely disconnected. Friends texting 'all good here!' while silently struggling. Partners asking 'how was your day?' and getting 'fine' as an answer, when what they really want is to know what's actually happening inside.

Here's what I know: That performance? It costs us. It costs us real connection. It costs us being truly seen for who we actually are. And it costs the people we love the chance to show up for us, to support us, to know us.

We think we're protecting the relationship by keeping it light, by not burdening anyone with our truth. But what we're actually doing is building a wall. One 'I'm fine' at a time.

But what if this week you stopped?

What if instead of the automatic 'I'm fine,' you got honest? What if you let someone see the real you—the messy, uncertain, still-figuring-it-out version? The one who doesn't have all the answers. The one who's scared sometimes. The one who needs help.

That's where the magic happens. That's where real connection lives. Not in the performance. In the pause. In the honesty. In the choice to show up differently.

So I'm asking you: Where are you performing? With who? And what would it feel like to stop—just for one conversation this week?

Because your people don't need you to be fine. They need you to be real.

Link in bio for the full year-end challenge and the practices that actually create lasting connection. 🔥

We know, the “save the date” carousel is a little extra….but honestly, if there was ever a time to make a big deal about...
12/17/2025

We know, the “save the date” carousel is a little extra….but honestly, if there was ever a time to make a big deal about listening, it’s now.

The world feels like it’s falling apart. Everyone’s talking, nobody’s really hearing each other, and genuine connection is harder to find than ever.

We’re Carolyn Sharp and Erin Snow, and we believe with everything we’ve got that actual, real listening (the kind most of us take for granted) is one of the things that can help bring us back together.

That’s why we created S**U: Learn Listening That Will Save Your Relationships. This isn’t just another workshop. It’s science, it’s practice, it’s laughter, and it’s honest conversations about how to really show up for the people you care about.

Whether you’re a teen tired of being misunderstood, a parent desperate to connect, a boss wishing your team would finally come together, or a friend exhausted by all the noise, you’re not alone. We’re here to help you build the skill that could change everything.

Come for the fun, stay for the real change.

Feb 8: General Session
Mar 8: Parents & Teens
Mar 22: Partners & Spouses
More dates for more groups coming!

📍Seacoast Listening Lounge, Hampton, NH.

$79/person or $139/pair for each workshop.
DM us for $20 off and first dibs. Only 20 spots!

Save the date. Save your relationships. 💌

12/17/2025

Can we talk about the toilet paper roll for a second?

Because it's never actually about the toilet paper roll.

It's about the 47 times you've asked, and they still don't get it. It's about feeling unseen. It's about wondering if they even care enough to listen. It's about the small resentment that builds when you don't say anything....because 'it's not worth the fight.'

But here's what I know: It IS worth the fight. Not because of the toilet paper. But because of what the toilet paper represents.

Every time we avoid a small truth (every 'it's fine, never mind,' every eye roll we swallow, every frustrated sigh we hide) we're building a wall between us and the person we love.

And then we wonder why we feel disconnected.

So here's my challenge for you: Stop avoiding the small stuff. That thing that annoys you? That pattern you've noticed? That way they said something that hurt? Say it. Gently. Honestly. With care.
Because real connection isn't built in the big moments. It's built in the small moments when you choose honesty over comfort, when you choose the relationship over being right.

What small truth have you been avoiding? And what would change if you said it this week?

Link in bio for the full year-end challenge and the practices that actually work. 🔥

Real connection doesn't happen by accident. It happens when we pause, get honest, and practice showing up differently.He...
12/16/2025

Real connection doesn't happen by accident. It happens when we pause, get honest, and practice showing up differently.

Here are 5 practices from the Fire It Up framework that actually create lasting change:
Safety & Emotional Honesty — Do you feel safe to be yourself? Where are you tiptoeing around truth?
Communication: Go Beyond Words — Most of what we say isn't words. It's tone, body language, energy. This week, slow down and actually listen.

Radical Honesty & Repair — Stop avoiding small truths. They build resentment. Share one difficult thing this week. Ask them to just listen.

Mutuality & Reciprocity — Put down the mental scoreboard. Do something kind today with no strings attached.

Conflict: Growth, Not Winning — Disagreements aren't battles. They're opportunities to know each other better and strengthen your bond.

This year-end moment is your invitation: Stop performing. Start practicing.

Which one are you going to start with? Save this, share it, and let's build real connection together.
Link in bio for the full challenge. 🔥

The world wants us to look like we have it all together. But the real work, the actual fuel for happiness, comes from pa...
12/15/2025

The world wants us to look like we have it all together. But the real work, the actual fuel for happiness, comes from pausing, getting honest, and choosing to show up differently.

This year-end moment? It's the perfect time to ask yourself: Am I performing 'fine'—or am I actually showing up?

Because here's what I know after 30 years: The relationships that thrive aren't the ones that look perfect on Instagram. They're the ones where people get real, admit the mess, and choose connection over performance.

Your people need the real you. Not the polished version. Not the one who has it all figured out.

So this week, I'm challenging you to something radical: Stop tiptoeing around honesty. Start showing up fully.

What's one small truth you've been avoiding? What would change if you said it out loud?
Link in bio for the full year-end challenge. 🔥

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Seattle, WA
98107

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