01/08/2026
***FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE***
Seattle, WA — An unprecedented number of requests to work with Dr. Jolene Simpson has led FAST to launch feasibility planning for a strategic cloning initiative.
The proposal aims to preserve stellar, evidence-driven services while increasing access to the most-requested evaluator on our team.
- Ethics review: Pending, tabbed, highlighted, and sitting in a serious-looking 3-ring binder
- Scientists in white lab coats: Standing at the ready
For now, we remain profoundly grateful for the one and only Dr. Simpson, who continues to prove that true excellence is, regrettably, irreplaceable.