The Terminal Hippie

03/30/2026

We have a plan. Well, i’m taking the risky approach while they all want me to go on hospice but it’s not my time.

03/30/2026

I know what people are trying to do by motivating me with Bible verses and they do help but I wish people understood it goes so much deeper than that. I am AFRAID to leave my kids. How exactly do you shake that? Of course I don’t want to die while I’m raising them, if I didn’t have them I would be pretty at ease about going but I DO have kids to raise and be there for. How can I ever be okay leaving them?

03/30/2026

Apparently everyone is waiting on everyone and nothing is being done. I don't appreciate any of this run around. Doesn’t look good on the pain part or getting down to Radiation. They’re now saying that the big humor in my brain cannot be treated safely by neurosurgery and cannot be treated by Radiation due to its size and I just got the hope squashed that was holding me together.

03/30/2026

I’m glad my oncologist still wants to fight this, and my wonderful radiation oncologist! There’s a long way to go, and I’m not sure what the answers are, but I’m willing to do anything.

03/29/2026

What if I fail at staying alive?

03/29/2026

Still in the hospital, soaking in bad news, but glad to get the pain pump! They have no plan on radiation or treatment right now, which makes me nervous
: pump may not go in tomorrow

03/26/2026

Back in the hospital. This time for uncontrollable pain. When I went in to see my doctor, he said he didn’t want me going home and I have had a few times he has said that, but I decided to suffer since I have my responsibilities at home. But I knew this time I should stay. I was sweating. I was in so much pain and shaking. And I don’t really sweat in general. They are hoping to put in a pain pump while I’m here and get my pain under control and I would be very happy for that.

03/21/2026

An update on how I’m doing. Nothing much has changed, but I did have someone message me and ask how I was doing when I hadn’t posted for a while. Which I appreciate. I still can’t walk and I decided to meet with Pain management to see if I could get a pain pump which is from what I’ve heard a pain in the butt, however it might be worth it. My oncologist didn’t try to do much at all for my pain. More info in the video.

03/14/2026

I am back home, but in so much more pain than in the hospital. 😩😔

03/12/2026

Hey hey...you trying to sleep 👀😭
Let me mess that up for you real quick!

03/12/2026

Hi all! As my latest video goes, I’m currently hospitalized and my wonderful friend Andrea offered to start this meal train. Even before this I’ve been barely getting by with the current tumors and how bad it hurts to move. If you’re not local there are options for gift cards. We do use door dash when I can’t get up. Thank you, if you feel moved to contribute. Prayers are also so appreciated

Alisha has been hospitalized and could really use our support once she's home. Please sign up to provide meals - either home-cooked meals or Door Dash/Uber Eats certificates are greatly appreciated! When dropping off meals, please DO NOT KNOCK - please leave them on the porch. Thanks for your unders...

03/12/2026

Welp, didn’t last long seeing improvement before complications hit. Scary times. Two separate infections apparently are going on in my body right now. I waited to go in like a dumbie, but they think they caught it early enough to where a couple days of their antibiotics will make it better. I could barely walk, very dehydrated, and passed out in the ER Lobby. Luckily God sent me angels in Pam and her husband Tim and they were right there to help me and comfort me. This stuff is scary. And I’m sick of living it. Everytime I need to go to the hospital I wonder, is this it? It’s a fear of leaving my kids behind I can’t escape. And if it will hurt. Because I go down fighting. I may complain, but I don’t give up 😅