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Joyfully After All, Sheridan, WY (2026)

04/03/2026

This photo for season 6 of The Chosen is indeed powerful. The weight of my sins and your sins made that heavy beam even heavier.

Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice. Thank you for hanging on the cross I deserved. Thank you for all that day means.

Each step you took was a choice you made. Each drop of blood was dropped in love. Each moment of humiliation was suffered in love.

Thank you.

04/02/2026

Dear Lord,
Around the world Your children are spending this week in gratitude for all that you did while here, especially for your suffering.

For us suffering happens because we are full of sin and choose the hard path. We choose to do wrong. Adam and Eve chose the forbidden fruit and daily we choose the sin.

Jesus, you lived and walked this earth and not once did you choose wrong. You were holy and perfect. Kind. Good. Righteous.

Yet when evil men with all sorts of un-holy motives chose to come against you, you allowed it. You had the power to leave. The scourging. The crown. The mockery. With one word you could have stopped it all, your pain over.

You allowed it. The cross beam? Your weakened, bloody body willingly drug it through the streets of Jerusalem.

You were still as they bound and NAILED you to the cross. You could have gotten off. The angels were ready to be at your side. But your dying continued.

The sin that covered you? That was my sin. The sign on your cross? That was mine. The penalty you paid? That was mine. Mine and everyone else who has lived except for you, yet you let those sins cover you.

The separation from Abba? That should have been us feeling the weight of God’s wrath and turned back.

May I live each day and not just Holy Week in gratitude and awe of Your love and endurance.

Thank you is inadequate, but it is what I have. I love you Jesus. I can’t wait to get to Your feet and tell you someday. For now, help me to live a life of gratitude and worship.

04/01/2026

We are in the midst of Holy Week. The week we spend remembering Christ’s last days before He was nailed to the cross, His dead body put in a borrowed tomb, and then He began the new week walking out of that tomb alive.

I have been listening to the song Homesick for Heaven. And I believe that as Christians we should be homesick or yearning for Heaven.

As a human who only knows life on this earth and can’t fully comprehend how amazing Heaven is, I think I am like Eve, homesick for Eden.

Eden I can more fully comprehend. Eden was a perfect, beautiful garden. Eden was lush grass that was soft underfoot. Eden was fruit always in season. Eden was the aroma of the fresh outdoors. Eden was crystal clear water.

I can picture all that in my mind. I can see Adam and Eve enjoying it, petting the lions, playing fetch with a wolf, riding an elephant.

The book of Revelation promises Believers that a new Heaven and a new Earth is coming in the future. This old polluted one will disappear.

We will get to return to an Edenic life. That is going to be amazing. Choose to believe in the truth of all that Holy Week represents and you will get to experience the new Earth.

Since I’m still on this old earth, and not yet celebrating Easter with my Savior I plan to listen to as much music as I can that points me to Jesus and His promise of the new creations.

03/26/2026

There is a lot going on in our world right now. I think there always has been, but we live in a time when things happening across the globe we can know about instantly. That wasn’t always true. We also live in a time when it seems like the events described in the last book of the Bible are closer to happening.

One of the worst events in human history was the Holocaust of the 1930’s and 1940’s in Europe. As horrific as that time was, God was able to use it to draw the Hebrew people back to Israel, and Israel became a Jewish nation again. This hadn’t happened in thousands of years. So are we seeing (to use the analogy of birth) the earth at 2 cm dilated and we are still not nearly ready for the “End Times” or are at an 8cm and pretty close?

There are so many of us who hope and pray that we are almost there. We believe the Rapture will happen before the Tribulation, and it will usher Believers into Heaven; our time on this messy planet will be over. As we wait we are praying and sharing Jesus with others. As Believers in the truth of the Bible, we want as many others to join us in Heaven as possible.

The apostle Matthew recorded Jesus stating, “13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matt. 7:13-14)

Because of this statement we know that not all of our friends, neighbors, family members, and fellow humans will come to know Christ as Savior. Earlier this week I read a post on social media that gave me pause. My soul felt icky ready it. I felt icky because it sounded good, but it was just wrong enough that it will teach others falsehoods about who Christ is, and how to get into Heaven.

Basically, this post stated that Christianity fails because it preaches exclusion. Not all people get into Heaven. If God was truly ALL loving (He is) then there would not be the haves and the have nots. Jesus came to remind us that we are all loved by God and as humans we are all included in the good afterlife. To quote the post, “So when Jesus says, “I am the way,” he is not offering directions. He is embodying a reality. The “way” is not a path you walk toward God; it’s the collapse of the illusion that you were ever apart from God in the first place. The way is awakening, not arrival.”

First of all, the verse I quoted above (and others like it) point to Jesus describing heading toward Heaven as a path, because we are separated from God. That is made abundantly clear back in Genesis. God is 100% holy and righteous. He only abides with those that are as holy and righteous as He. We sin, we are not righteous. We are not holy. We ARE INDEED separated from our Creator, the only God.

The article goes on to refute the basic premise of Jesus’ “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except by me.” Statement. Christianity fails (according to the article) because Christians believe statements like this mean not everyone gets into Heaven because we require loyalty to Jesus. The article ends saying this, “And the truth he [Jesus] embodied is this; you belong, you are already held, and the love you’ve been trying to reach has been breathing in you the whole time.”

Christians don’t preach fear we preach truth. The truth is that we ARE separated from God. God along with being holy and righteous is also 100% loving, and we are the apple of His eye. So God came to earth as Jesus, lived a 100% human life, but lived it perfectly. He allowed Himself to be sacrificed, because the penalty for sin, the only to be made holy and righteous is through death, so Jesus, the only perfect human allowed the crucifixion. But as God, he didn’t remain dead. He walked out of the tomb. Alive, having paid the penalty He as God requires. That is pure love.

God’s only requirement for sinful humans to reside in Heaven after this life is over is our acceptance and belief in all that Jesus did. If we choose to live and believe anything else, we give up Heaven. So yes, not everyone will go to Heaven. Many people, have views contrary to the truth about Jesus that is found in the Bible.

“Believe on the Lord Jesus and you shall be saved.” (Acts 16:31)

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they shall never perish. No one shall sn**ch them away from me.” (John 10: 27-28)

“That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned. But he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” (John 3:15-18)

The Bible is very clear that our separation is REAL. Jesus didn’t come to remind us that we just have to breathe and we will go to Heaven. He didn’t come to be some metaphysical reminder that because God loves us it doesn’t matter what we do or what we believe, we will go play harps and fly around the clouds for all eternity.

No! Jesus came because God loves us and wants to right what we wronged and make a path that can bring us back to Him. We do have to choose faith in Christ. We do have to practice loyalty to Christ after we realize our need for Him. The path is narrow and not everyone chooses Christ.

Yes, I hope the Rapture is soon. I long to be reunited with those I love who are already in Heaven. I yearn to worship Jesus while at His feet. I can’t wait to see Heaven. I think we are very close to the “End Times”. I also pray that all my friends and family choose to believe the truth of Jesus and not all the noise and lies that are out there making Christianity something it is not.

My Dad chose the narrow path, I’ve chosen it, and will you choose it?

03/13/2026

Today was busy, which was a good thing.

3 months.

3 long months since I last kissed my Dad. 3 months since I last held his hand. 3 months since I whispered in his ear, “I love you”.

3 months down, a lifetime to go.

I sat in my office at work and it hit me how weird it felt that life just goes on. We have a funeral, but then life proceeds as normal. Loved ones are left to grieve alone, quietly, in our “off” hours from work and the daily grind.

Today I had work, tennis for my daughter, handbell practice for me, and my daughter’s parent/teacher conference. Finally in the snow I drove home and could sit in my room to process before getting up to do chores.

3 months.

3 months of freedom for Dad. 3 months of SEEING Jesus. 3 months of no pain. 3 months with his parents. 3 months in the most beautiful place.

Dad, you’ve had 3 months of peace and joy. 3 months to worship at our Savior’s feet. That Dad? That’s cool!

I love ya and miss you Dad, but I know that this separation is just making our next hug that much more special. See ya “soon”.

03/10/2026

Right now we are in the middle of Lent. In early April we will celebrate Easter and the resurrection of our Savior. But first we have to pause and remember how the tomb was filled before it was emptied.

We call it Good Friday, but that day, the day 2000ish years ago was anything but good.

The night before, on what we call Maundy Thursday, Jesus was betrayed by one of his close followers. He was arrested, and yo-yo’d back and forth between different factions of power before being sentenced to a gruesome death. Before he could be executed he was mocked, flogged, and forced to drag his own instrument of death through the city and up the hill.

And then, he was tied and nailed to a cross, and it was lifted up and dropped into place.

For hours he hung there. Naked. Suffering. Abandoned. Suffocating. Dying.

In the midst he cried out, “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?”

For the only time in history (past, present and future) the godhead was fractured.

As I walk through my grief I have had times when I’ve asked, “Dad why didn’t you fight harder?” and “Dad why did you have to go, now?” I feel the separation of a daughter without her father. It HURTS.

But that is nothing compared to the pain Jesus felt when he was covered in humanity’s sin and his Abba turned away.

Jesus took on our shame.

Jesus felt the pain that we would never survive.

Jesus was abandoned (for a time) in a way that we will never feel.

And yet he still remained faithful and trusting. His pain is a lesson on how we need to handle our pain. He cried out TO father God.

Too often we let pain take us away from God, when we need to run to Him like Jesus did on the cross.

Jesus felt forsaken so we never have to.

It is called Good Friday because Jesus did it all for our good, for our reconciliation with Abba.

Thank you Jesus.

Thank you that you know pain, so in my pain I have somewhere to run.

Thank you that I know I will never face the depth of pain you did.

Thank you that I know I have a future with you when all my pain will be resolved & will evaporate into joy.

Thank you.

03/10/2026

March 17, 1990: My first birthday without Grandpa Carl.
March 17, 2007: My first birthday without Grandma Betty
March 17, 2013: My first birthday with Grandma Wanda
March 17, 2014: My first birthday without my (now ex) husband
March 17, 2026: My first birthday without my Dad

Birthdays have always been special for me. I love celebrating mine and I love celebrating others’ too. It’s a fun day to let people know you love them.

Yet they can be a hard reminder that some of the people you love celebrating with the most are gone. The joy and fun can dim. You want to just forget the day and treat it like any other day.

But it is not any other day. It is YOUR day. It should be fun. How do you reconcile the fun and the grief?

Satan wants us mired in our grief. He wants to steal all the joy. He wants us miserable. Satan wants us to dread our birthday, holidays, and quiet moments. The times we would be with our loved ones. A grieving and depressed Christian is just treading water and not able to fight the spiritual battle.

So we have to find the courage and energy to cry out to Jesus. Heaven’s army is ready to go to battle for us. I love to picture the angels just waiting for Jesus to say, “Go! Knock those minions down a peg or two. Protect MY child.”

The angels already know Jesus has won. The angels know they are on the good side. They know how much Jesus loves us. They are fighting what we can’t, with knowledge and perspective we don’t have.

Jesus and His angels want us to be joyful, to enjoy this earth and our time here, as we serve Him.

So, in order to renew my joy and not be mired in grief on days that Satan wants me mired, I crank up the worship music, I tune my heart to HIM, I run to HIM.

And I ask Jesus to give my loved ones the hugs that I can’t give right now. I imagine them in Heaven and what they are doing.

I also let the tears come. For me, tears are love leaking down. I need to pause and let it. But I don’t let them last all day, because I know that someday I will celebrate not my birthday, but my Heaven day, and those hugs? They will be worth the wait!

03/04/2026

Dad had a group of men that I’d call his band of brothers. Men he loved like brothers. Today is the first birthday for that group without my dad. Next is my Mom’s birthday. After that, mine.

March is full of “firsts”.

Firsts are hard as we navigate this After-Before. But I think Tenths will be hard too.

So this morning I’m finding myself sprinting to my Savior who is stronger than sorrow. I’m reminding myself that when Dad lived he modeled Christ for us, so that now that Dad is gone we have our best friend, our comforter to be with.

Sometimes the pain is deep and we can hardly move, so we let the Lord breathe for us. Knowing that someday we will be with Jesus and my Dad again, and it will be in a place where there is just joy, peace, majesty and worshipping God.

Dad, that’s cool.

03/01/2026

I was just watching a few behind the scenes clips on The Chosen season 6 (coming this Fall to Prime). We all KNOW my Mom & I are super fans (though work and budgets kept us from attending ChosenCon).

Season 6 episodes 1-6 will be the trials of Jesus and the final moments before His actual crucifixion (the crucifixion will be coming to theaters Easter 2027). In other words, while it won't be shown as graphic as The Passion, it will be brutal for viewers. Brutal because as Believers we know that Jesus lived a perfect, selfless life, and His death was a violent as could be. His lonliness and abandonment by his inner circle? Pretty soul crushing (we will see the select few who remained by His side).

As I was watching it hit me. The crucifixion wasn't Jesus losing. It was Jesus winning. It was Jesus beginning to crush Satan. It was Jesus dying and enduring seperation from God, so that death for us doesn't have to be an eternal seperation.

And yes, I've known all this for deades. But in my grief I have been bogged down. I haven't prayed the way I used to. I haven't read Scripture as much. I am not listening to Scriptural teaching podcasts. I am letting my grief lead me and leave me in the dark valley.

Jesus didn't endure everything He endured so I could wallow in grief and self pity. He didn't crush Satan so I could let him keep me feeling defeated.

The brutal truth is, as Brad's kid I've expected to outlive him. He certainly did not want to outlive me (even though that almost happened). Dad's death was sooner than we all wanted, but Dad doesn't want to come back, even if he could. Dad has earned his reward for a life well lived. Dad is just now awaiting our entrance, but he doesn't want to return here.

Jesus endured all He did so that we can face death with hope and even a measure of joy. We are HIS. His blood bought us. He endured the trials, mocking, agony, nakedness, thirst, abandonement, and death so that by choosing Him we can win.

The battle is decided. Season 6 will be hard. But we won't be watching Jesus lose. We will be watching God win. We will see that through Jesus our grief doesn't have to bury us.

Does this knowedge magically remove the pain of grief? Of course not. It is still hard to live without the ones we love. It does though offer light in the darkness and joy for the days ahead. It does help me gain perspective and tell ol Satan to "Shut up."

02/28/2026

Tomorrow March arrives. With her comes my Mom's birthday, my birthday, Spring, my new bifocals (welcome to being middle aged I guess) and more firsts without my Dad.

Its been 2.5 months. The weeks are now in the double digits. It feels like just yesterday we played what turned out to be our last games of Sorry and Yahtzee. It also has felt like a lifetime.

No matter how many loved ones (miscarriages, friends, family, my marriage) I've watched pass away and had to leave in my yesterdays it never gets easier. I think it gets harder in some ways.

We were created for life by God himself.

Each death leaves me more homesick for Heaven. I am left remembering that there is something better awaiting me.

I remember being in such a hurry to get there that I tried to take myself to Heaven. God tod me, "In my time Child. Not yours." May 2003 wasn't my time. December 12, 2025 was Dad's time.

For those of us who loved him that's a bitter pill to swallow. Its hard being left out, left behind, knowing our loved ones who chose Christ have been invited in, and we are not, yet.

We grieve in all the stages. We keep doing the next right thing, but the sunrise seems a little less corful, the sunset a little less magnificent with each death. Yet we trust God and His timing. We trust that earth's sorrows will be erased when we get invited and it is our turn to join Jesus.

Yes, I'm grieving. Its still hard. But I do grieve with hope. I grieve with peace. I grieve expectantly, doing my best be HIS light and HIS princess while here.

Living without our loved ones dims but doesn't erase the beauty this earth offers. It is hard, but it isn't without hope and peace. It isn't without joy. We may be grieving, but with the Holy Spirit we can do it while living: laughing, loving, experiencing all the gifts God still sends our way.

02/26/2026

I've been thinking a lot lately about this life journey we are all on. I say my Dad lost his battle with cancer. Cancer murdered him. He's gone. Some of my fellow Christians would say Dad won, he's in Heaven with Jesus. And they are right in that Dad is with Jesus.

Dad still died though. He's gone. God created the earth, the plants, animals and humans for life. God's perfect design is for everlasting life with Him. God's perfect plan is an undefiled world.

Humanity ruined that perfect plan and the penalty is death. We die because we sin. Death is the ultimate consequence.

God doesn't want us to pay eternally, He loves His silly, wayward children. So Jesus is the anecdote to eternal death. Christians, those who choose Jesus in this life, get to spend eternity with HIM.

So yes, in earthly terms Dad lost. He died. He is gone. And yes, his faith means he is with Jesus now. He'd consider that the biggest win of all. And it is.

But he didn't get to stick around for the Rapture. That's my plan. I want to FLY, not die. 😁

Till then (Rapture or Death) I am taking life hourly right now and finding my smile moments. Today it was looking through photos and not crying as quickly, but actually enjoying them. It was a busy but fulfilling day at work. It was some good conversations. It was hugs from my daughter and making some shorts for her YT page. It was a hug from my Mom. It was reading in Psalms.

Lent 2026 is teaching me to keep walking in the holy hard and grieving joyfully. And Dad? "That's cool:.

02/24/2026

Yes. With God by our side single parents are not parenting alone, and we do it because we love our kid(s).

Joyfully After All

04/03/2026

04/02/2026

04/01/2026

03/26/2026

03/13/2026

03/10/2026

03/10/2026

03/04/2026

03/01/2026

02/28/2026

02/26/2026

02/24/2026

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