Bully No More

Bully No More Bully No More is devoted to spreading Anti-Bullying tips and practices from kids to adults.

03/31/2024
Please help me celebrate the birthday of Mrs Lynne Baur-Arnold (lovin’) today.  She is a wonderful example of a P31 girl...
11/30/2023

Please help me celebrate the birthday of Mrs Lynne Baur-Arnold (lovin’) today. She is a wonderful example of a P31 girl. For those who don’t know what that is open your Bible and read Proverbs 31:10. 143

“What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is...
08/14/2023

“What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?”

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one student delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling school and dedicated staff, he shared a question:

'When not interfered by outside influence, everything nature does is perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. Athe pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Never in his life had Shay run that far, but he made it to first. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled,
‘Run to second, Shay, run to second!’

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his mom tearfully embrace her hero of the day!

AND NOW A FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

😍 A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them. Make your day a Shay Day!

11/25/2022

Bully Proofing your child is about Education and Empowerment and that is how we teach SELF DEFENSE to children when bullied. Our program is created to impact each child on the negative impact of bullying. The NEGATIVE effects can be lifelong. First we, as Parents, Educators and Teachers recognize that research shows that bullying peaks in the 5th, 6th and 7th grades. The goal of our self defense program is to minimize the effects of predatory behaviors in grade school and middle school age children. Initial steps involved education. A lot of time we think of self defense as how to get out of a headlock or how to avoid a punch. Our goal is to stop the bullying way before it gets physical. When the physical happens you are already steps behind. Something went wrong a long time ago. It's about understanding the dynamics of the behavior first and taking preemptive steps to avoid it. A bully builds up what we call PHYSICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL momentum. We have to stop that very early... we teach how!

My friend Barry Walker posted this and I loved it!  It’s worth reading and teaching our kids this valuable lesson.My fri...
11/22/2022

My friend Barry Walker posted this and I loved it! It’s worth reading and teaching our kids this valuable lesson.

My friend handed me a very old metal match box car today. Then he said I found this yesterday and it reminded me of a major life lesson. I held it in my hand and looked at it while he talked.
He said, "when I was in elementary school, we did a Secret Santa in my class room at school. All the kids drew a name and then we exchanged presents the last day before Christmas break". He said, "my parents went out and bought me a nice new toy to give to the child I had drawn. My mom wrapped it up and the kid loved the present that received it." He then said, "I went and found my present from a boy in my class that I didn't really know. It looked like it had been wrapped with news paper." He said, "I opened it and it was that little car you are holding in your hand." He said, "... but when he gave it to me it was dirty and looked well played with." He said "I was mad I had given such a nice gift and he had put so little effort into his".
I felt cheated. He said, but later I learned the kid lived in a very run down shack. His mom was sick and his daddy had left them years before. He said they barely had enough money to have heat and food. He said "when I realized he had given me one of his only few toys, I felt ashamed for the way I treated him when I got the gift". He said I only learned how poor he was after he quit coming to school and it we were told his mom had died and he had been sent to foster care. I never saw him again. He said I kept this little car all these years because I know it was the best present I have ever gotten.
I thought about this story and looked at that little car sitting in my hand and I cried. How many times in my life have I been given something from someone and not appreciated it's TRUE value. This kid had given with his heart when he had so little and it made me realize I need to always remember to never judge anything on the surface and always look deeper.
I just wanted to put this story out there to you all in this season of giving.

10/03/2022

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