02/11/2026
If you don’t know what you want in life, look where your resentment points.
So many moms and wives freeze when they are asked what they actually want, not because they don’t have desires, but because life has taught them that their desires often don’t get held.
Many women have spent years carrying invisible burdens, doing the emotional labor no one sees, and keeping the household running even when they are exhausted. Some have done this with loving support, and many others have done it largely on their own.
So when someone finally asks, “What do you want,” it can feel foreign, overwhelming, or even unsafe to answer.
Let’s be clear, resentment itself is not holy, it is sinful and can harden your heart if you cling to it. But resentment often arises from real places of being overlooked, overworked, or unsupported, and those conditions deserve compassion, not shame.
If you notice resentment in your heart, do not crush yourself under it.
Psychologically, when you act as if you have no needs, your nervous system learns that you do not matter. You can look “strong” on the outside while slowly disappearing on the inside.
And here is something tender but important, if people around you are actually trying to care for you and you consistently pretend you are fine, that is not peace, it is avoidance.
At the same time, some women really are alone. Some moms truly do not have consistent help, safe partners, or a supportive community. If that is you, I see how heavy that is, and it is not your fault.
But even in that loneliness, you are still worth fighting for.
Jesus himself withdrew to rest, received care from others, and honored his limits, Luke 5:16, Luke 8:1-3, Mark 6:31.
You do not have to carry everything alone, and when you must carry more than you should, you still deserve compassion, not silence.
Your life matters.
Your heart matters.
Your needs matter.
And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop disappearing and start asking for what you need, even if it feels uncomfortable, risky, or new.
