ACA WSO

ACA WSO Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)/Dysfunctional Families is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes.

This page is intended to provide ACA info only. Cross talk or inappropriate language is not permitted. Find an ACA meeting online or in your area. https://adultchildren.org/meeting-group/

12/20/2025

Dissociation

“Using a substance to alter the feelings is the second way to dissociate from feeling pain. The most easily available substances are alcohol, sugar, ni****ne, and caffeine.” BRB p. 87

Many of us came to ACA with addictions to drugs or alcohol. Others came with addictions to money, food, s*x, or gambling. With the help of other 12 Step programs, we successfully worked on these presenting problems. But there were other seemingly more acceptable addictions that we picked as a way to mask our pain. In our quest for emotional sobriety in ACA, our feelings have to be available to us in order to locate the underlying trauma in our lives. Even if we’re participating in these more acceptable addictions, like watching hours of TV each day, a ni****ne habit that interrupts everything we do, or excessive caffeine, our feelings are being masked.

If we continue to alter our feelings in these or similar ways, it may be because the underlying trauma seems too scary to face. But to find true freedom for our Inner Child requires that our feelings to be accessible. We need to be “present” to work our program if we are to become our own loving parent, which means rejecting the role models of our childhood. We make a commitment that the abuse stops here! We allow ourselves to be imperfect and move towards our ultimate goal of being fully awake without reservation.

On this day I will be honest about what I may be using to numb my feelings. I will reach out for help so that I may find the peace I deserve.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/19/2025

Trait Fourteen

“Para-alcoholics (codependents) are reactors rather than actors.” BRB p. 17

Before ACA, many of us ran from one person to another, one idea to another, found “better” jobs, sought solutions for our medical ailments, read all the self-help books: we tried anything to change the way we felt. We were so mixed up inside, wondering why everyone else seemed calm and reassured, while we had fireworks going off in our brains and bodies. Each time we jumped into frantic action, the results were usually hurtful to ourselves or others.

How did we learn to react so intensely? As children, each step we took or didn’t take caused “bombs” to go off. We were told things like “Can’t you do anything right?” or “If you’d just stop acting like that, everything would be better.” We were scapegoats. We became reactors in an attempt to try to fix things. And we carried this behavior into our adult lives.

In ACA we find relief, one day at a time. We learn to use the slogans, like “Easy Does It” when we feel an “emergency” inside. They help us act in healthier ways by doing nothing, even if we have to sit on our hands or zip our lips until the compulsion passes.

Self-reflection is imperative during these times. Stopping ourselves before we react inappropriately, and even in mid-sentence, helps us gain self-confidence and positively affirm ourselves.

On this day, when I feel a compulsion to react “Right Now,” I will remember two slogans: “Don’t just do something, sit there” and “Be Still and Know.” I am learning to be calm in the face of internal chaos.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

When we attended our first ACA meeting, the Twelve Step language may have intimidated us. What the heck were these peopl...
12/18/2025

When we attended our first ACA meeting, the Twelve Step language may have intimidated us. What the heck were these people talking about? Was this part of some cult? Was it safe to keep coming here? Could these people really be happy, even with all their problems?

As we kept coming back, we learned to explore recovery slowly and start to become an inner loving parent to those wounded parts of ourselves that hurt for longer than long. We found the pain and the shame that was deep within us. But we also found that beneath those things lay a wellspring of life, the energy to carry us through anything and everything. We discovered a path inside ourselves, a path that could lead us home should we have the courage to follow it. We no longer had to do it alone.

On this day I have faith that by consoling my Inner Child, I also get closer to my Higher Power.

12/18/2025

Service
“The purpose of service in ACA is to support one another in becoming responsible for our own well-being.” BRB p. 354

It can be difficult to start doing service when service seems to carry such a heavy responsibility. The idea that we can help another person recover feels similar to our having tried to save our families.

Yet service in ACA is what provides others the opportunity to assume responsibility for themselves. Opening the meeting, being the secretary, keeping the books, and picking up chairs after the meeting are all things that keep a meeting open and provide the means for ourselves and others to recover.

As members turn to us for guidance, we realize that we can share our experience, strength and hope, but that also, the directions are right in front of them. The “Newcomer’s Pamphlet,” the BRB, the Yellow Workbook, and other pieces of literature will answer any question the member may have.

Our goal is to support adult children as they become comfortable with the idea that they can be responsible for their own well-being. It may be very frustrating to the newer member to understand that by allowing them to find the strength to love themselves, we are expressing a deep level of love. However, if done with a spirit of love and a short explanation, they will feel the strength of the program filling in the vacuum they had long sought to deny.

On this day I will give service, realizing that every part of setting up a meeting creates an opportunity for ACAs to become empowered to love themselves.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

We recover by “working our program.” This means attending ACA meetings and working the Twelve Steps. The Steps are not m...
12/17/2025

We recover by “working our program.” This means attending ACA meetings and working the Twelve Steps. The Steps are not meant to be worked in isolation, which is why we work with more experienced members, a twelve step group, and/or our fellow travelers (others in ACA).

The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. ACA has no membership fees.

Expressing Feelings
12/17/2025

Expressing Feelings

12/16/2025

Christmas and New Years Holiday Marathon Meetings

Holidays can be a difficult time for adult children. For Christmas, there will be 46 hours of back to back meetings.

Christmas Meeting:
Time: 5:00 am EST Dec 24 until 3:00 am EST Dec. 26
Call-in number: 712-432-8808 access code 247676 #

New Years Meeting:
5:00 am EST December 31 to 3:00 am EST January 2.
Call-in number is 712-432-8808 access code 247676 #

12/16/2025

Hearing a Fifth Step

“In Step Five, the ACA member trusts another to hear his or her life story without judgment. For many, this is the first time the adult child has told the most intimate details of his or her life to another. Trust of another person is one of the spiritual principles of Step Five.” BRB p. 632

The first time we did our Fifth Step with someone else, we may have been really nervous. Then we felt affirmed as the other person didn’t run away or shame us for what we shared. We had broken the silence, and it was a huge relief as we unpacked years of baggage. In a haze, we stumbled in the dark with the loving presence of a fellow traveler by our side. We released our past. We walked away better, lighter, and with a sense of completeness we may have never experienced before.

Hearing someone else’s Fifth Step can be such a privilege. When we are asked to do so, we remember our own vulnerability when we shared our lives in this manner. Recalling our own experience helps us honor the other person and treat them with the respect we were given. To help each other on such an important journey truly benefits both individuals.

On this day I will look forward to the time when I am ready to do my Fifth Step so that I can experience the freedom on the other side. When I am then asked to hear another’s Fifth Step, I will honor that request as the wonderful gift that it is.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

Many adult children have said they feel like a child in a grown-up body. This is the clue to the Inner Child, but there ...
12/15/2025

Many adult children have said they feel like a child in a grown-up body. This is the clue to the Inner Child, but there is much more. Swipe through our post to read more about the Inner Child, and how it manifests in our adult lives.

Promise Twelve
12/15/2025

Promise Twelve

Victim
12/14/2025

Victim

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90755

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