APH Counseling

12/24/2025

🎄A gentle holiday reminder

The holidays have a way of bringing up what we love and what we're still carrying. You don't have to force cheer to belong this season. Changes in routine, travel, expectations, and pressure for things to be organized or feel special can weigh on everyone.

Kids and adults may be dysregulated. Family dynamics can be complicated. The holidays can be meaningful without being easy.

Research reminds us: stress rises when expectations exceed our capacity. Our nervous systems prioritize safety, predictability, and connection. Stress often shows up as meltdowns, irritability, anxiety, withdrawal, or conflict.

Choose emotional availability over conflict management. We don’t have to resolve every tense or awkward moment in an effort to protect relationships. Stabilizing doesn’t mean “fix it.” Sometimes that means using fewer words, slowing down, and allowing space for those moments to pass.

Fixating on what is outside our control can drain the nervous system. Presence, flexibility, and self-compassion support regulation.

Get Curious:

“How can I nurture connection right now?”

“What helps me stay regulated?”

"Is this mine to manage?"

Supportive Strategies:

Step outside for fresh air

Sit nearby your loved one instead of correcting

Give yourself permission to tap out

Lean into your anchor role, person, companion, or activity that keeps you steady

Silence can be a boundary

🛑Perfection creates pressure.
🛟Connection supports safety.
‼️If connection does not feel safe, space can be an act of self regulation.

Real life note: this message was finalized between Pilates and a Costco run for things I should have bought weeks ago. If you’re behind too, you’re in good company. 🤓

With care,

Alyssa

12/24/2025

May this holiday season bring balance, rest, and compassion.

-Alyssa

APH Counseling, LLC

12/21/2025

‼️Kids competing in high-pressure, competitive environments are carrying more than we often realize.

You can see it in the forced smiles after mistakes, the tears they apologize for, and the way they scan adults’ faces for reassurance. You can also see it when something goes wrong and emotions spill over. Kids may snap at teammates, melt down on the sidelines, or direct frustration toward parents or coaches. These moments are not signs of poor character or bad parenting. They are common stress responses in high-pressure environments.

When a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed, their brain shifts out of problem-solving and into survival mode. In those moments, kids don’t have access to the skills we expect, even if they usually do. This is especially true when kids believe their worth is tied to performance.

🌱Helpful Reminders:

A child’s worth is not their score, placement, consistency, or hardest day. Kids are allowed to try hard and struggle at the same time. They’re allowed to care deeply and still feel overwhelmed. They are allowed to be kids, not products of performance.

This isn’t about lowering expectations. It’s about protecting mental health while expectations stay high.

In heated moments, regulation and connection matter more than correction. Calm, supportive adults help kids settle first so learning, accountability, and repair can happen later.

Alyssa

APH Counseling, LLC

12/12/2025

In this episode, Suzy and Catherine have an engaging and edifying discussion with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk whose seminal book, The Body Keeps the Score has pr...

12/09/2025

APH is celebrating 1 year🎉🎉🌱

12/09/2025

This week APH is celebrating it's one year anniversary....and yes I am still up past my bedtime reflecting. 🤓

To everyone that supports APH Counseling thank you for helping this little practice grow into something meaningful. I notice it, I feel it deeply, and am forever grateful. 🌱❤️🎉🎉🎉

12/07/2025

‼️Misunderstood, Not Difficult

🌱A Neurodivergent Story That Might Resonate:

I’m a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and a licensed provider. I am someone with education, training, language, and access to resources. But even I fell through the cracks. I had moments where I felt frustrated that I didn’t recognize it sooner. And it wasn’t because I didn’t have loving caregivers or dedicated educators along the way. Screening and diagnosis did exist back then, but the awareness, the training, and the cultural conversations just weren’t where they are now. Neurodivergence wasn’t recognized or understood the way we are fighting for it to be today.

In the 90s and early 2000s, struggles were usually labeled as:
“They need to focus more.”
“They just need to try harder.”
“They talk too much.”
“They are being difficult.”
“They don’t care enough.”
“They refuse to sit still and listen.”
“They’re being dramatic.”

What they needed was someone to say, “Your brain works differently, and here’s how we can support you.”

The truth is, this still happens today. Kids are still being misunderstood or overlooked, even with the tools we have now. But we do have more resources, more language, more awareness, and more opportunities to intervene earlier.

This is a big part of why I’m sharing this. I want fewer people to go without support, to feel misunderstood, or to spend years believing something is wrong with them, when really their brain just works differently. They deserve understanding, not judgment.

For me, clarity began to show up in early adulthood. I noticed that what seemed to be a simple expectation for some felt over complicated and draining. It would take more time than I had and high levels of mental, emotional, or physical energy. I compared myself. I felt ashamed. I felt anxious and defeated. All of this was happening while I was juggling full-time school, full-time work, and full-time motherhood. The emotional, physical, and mental toll of pushing through was something I could not ignore anymore.

When I finally received the correct neurodivergent diagnosis, it did not change who I was. It changed how I understood myself.

A lot of people are talking about neurodivergence, identity, and mental health right now. And honestly, it makes sense. Many adults grew up without language for their experiences. We adapted, masked, over-achieved, and shut down. We survived by camouflaging instead of understanding ourselves.

If you have recently gotten a diagnosis, or your child has, I want you to know this:
You do not need to fix yourself. You need a soft place to land. You need someone who listens, who sees you, and who supports you in ways that actually fit your brain.

Here are a few research-supported ways to find help and build the right support system:

Seek providers who have training and experience with neurodiversity-affirming care.

Explore accommodations that fit real life, such as predictable routines/schedules, extended time, chunking tasks, movement breaks, visuals, pairing verbal and written communication, or sensory-friendly environments.

Look for community, either online or locally, with people who truly understand or relate to what is being experienced. If you don’t know where to start and it feels overwhelming, I get it. I want to walk with you as you find appropriate support.

Let yourself feel the mix of relief, grief, clarity, and “why didn’t anyone notice” that often comes with a late diagnosis.

Experiment with coping tools that match individual needs. This might look like adjusting the environment, paying attention to what drains energy versus what restores it, using sensory supports, or adding external structure through timers, apps, organizers, and visual reminders. It can also include body doubling with someone who sits with you or them in person or virtually while working, along with physical outlets, creative activities, and strategies that support mental and emotional well-being.

If you are parenting a newly diagnosed child, please know you are not behind. You are responding with more tools and more understanding than you had before. You are showing them that their brain is not broken. Their brain and body simply need something different, and different does not mean less.

With care,
Alyssa

APH Counseling, LLC

www.aphcounseling.org

12/05/2025

48. DR. BRENÉ BROWN: How to Kn… - We Can Do Hard Things - Apple Podcasts

Podcast Episode · We Can Do Hard Things · 11/30/2021 · 56m

11/14/2025

🍁November Gratitude🍁

As we move into this season of gratitude, I’ve been reflecting on what this past year has meant to me. APH Counseling is approaching one year of serving our community, and I am so deeply thankful for every single person who has trusted me, supported my practice, referred my name, or showed immense bravery by taking the step to walk through my door.

Opening a mental health practice is both a humbling and hopeful experience. I am humbled because my clients are choosing to invite me into some of the most vulnerable parts of their life, and hopeful because I get to witness growth, bravery, healing, and resilience every day. That is an honor I don’t take lightly and hold close to my heart.

To my clients, community partners, colleagues, my family, friends, and to everyone who believes in the work I do: thank you. Any success I’ve had this year has been because of all of you surrounding me. Your support allows me to keep showing up, keep learning, and keep providing care our area deserves.

🌱A quick research-backed reminder: Studies consistently show that intentionally practicing gratitude even in the most simple ways such as: naming three things you’re thankful for can boost your mood, strengthen relationships, and improve overall well-being. Gratitude doesn’t erase the stress, but it helps our brains notice what’s steady, supportive, and good for us. If you’re able, take a moment this month to pause and reflect on what’s carrying you, too.

I’m grateful for this community. I’m grateful for this work. And I’m grateful for each of you who make it possible for me to do what I love.

Here’s to continuing to grow together. 🧡

— Alyssa @ APH Counseling.

www.aphcounseling.org

11/08/2025

11/07/2025

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09/13/2025

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