Abide Counseling Services, LLC

01/26/2026

Most of us make emotional bids dozens of times a day without realizing it.

We reach for connection in small moments. A comment about our day. Showing them something funny. Asking them to sit with us.

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

And how our partner responds to these bids matters more than we think.

Turning toward them ("Tell me more" / "That's hilarious" / "I'd love to") builds connection over time.

Turning away from them (distracted, dismissive, or ignoring) creates distance.

The relationship isn't built in the big moments. It's built in how we respond to these small reaches for connection every single day.

Pay attention to your bids. Pay attention to theirs.

01/23/2026

Caring VS Carrying

Caring vs. Carrying Someone's Emotional State

12/05/2025

.....some days.....

Love this from To You From Steph 💜

12/04/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BgPfYPBK5/

True intimacy is about more than a physical connection.

It’s talking about your fears, childhood scars, hopes, and dreams. It’s letting someone in so deep that you feel like you can see their soul.

It’s laying on the kitchen floor, climbing inside their ribcage and making yourself at home.

No clothes come off. Nothing happens.
And yet you’ll never be more naked with another human in your life.

That's intimacy.
Not the bedroom scene everyone posts about.

So tell me — when's the last time someone saw all of you...
and you didn't have to take a single thing off to let them in?

11/26/2025

Celebrate changes.....

Marriage and children are beautiful milestones which deserve to be celebrated. But there’s more to a meaningful life than the milestones we’re told to celebrate. And some of the most important victories are quiet ones no one sees.

Some wins won’t make an announcement - celebrate them anyway. 🙌💛

11/19/2025

Therapy is the place for you to be authentic and say what you need to say -- and be heard.

11/12/2025

Before you say "I do"

Before you say “I do”… say everything else.
Talk about bills.
Parenting styles.
Credit, debt, religion.
How you handle conflict.
How you love, how you argue, how you heal.
Talk about childhood wounds.
Mental health. Family health.
What beliefs your kids will grow up with.
Sexual expectations.
Financial goals.
Dream homes. Dream jobs.
Politics.
Everything.
Because love is beautiful — but it’s not a blueprint.
You don’t build a life on sparks.
You build it on understanding.
So talk now.
Talk deeply.
Talk honestly.
Love is the foundation — but communication is the structure.

11/06/2025

11/02/2025

Secure Attachment — it does not have to be “either/or” —- it can be “both/and” —- experiences in harmony.

10/13/2025

How we feel and the emotions we experience are a central part of our mental health. Conversely how we respond to emotions is critical for our health, mental and physical. While they can perplexing, stubborn, frustrating, annoying, frightening and downright depressing at times, emotions are a fundamental and necessary part of brain functioning. In fact, they are central to being human.

Unfortunately societal beliefs often tells us we shouldn’t have emotions or some emotions are bad. Telling your brain it shouldn’t have emotions is like telling your heart not to beat or your lungs not to breathe, and it doesn’t make your brain very happy.

Emotions don’t always feel nice and can make us want to run away from them. And like any avoidance, short term this seems to work, we feel relieved. But inside your brain is feeling pretty annoyed at trying to hold it all in.

How you respond to your emotions is important. Research shows suppressing, berating and shaming emotions doesn’t help us deal with them at all and just creates more stress and make emotions feel even more difficult.

Naming, validating, expressing and recognising emotions seems to help us process them and help us become friends with them, rather than them having power over us. It seems to soothe those emotions and instead of adding a layer of more stress and difficult feelings, helps us deal with the ones we have.

read more about the science of emotions and how we can help our emotions in my books
📕‘A Toolkit for your Emotions’.
📚 A toolkit for modern life
📖 A toolkit for happiness

10/09/2025

In grief, we need to tell our story, and we need safe people and spaces to do so. After the loss of a child, we know it can feel lonely, dark and scary. The complex nature of grief demands gentle and compassionate support. Grief deserves to be witnessed and over the years, we have seen tremendous healing happen through shared experiences.

Grief is a lonely experience, but you don't have to do it alone. We will hold a safe space for you as you journey through your grief. We invite you to join us at our small group that meets the third Monday of the month at the Healing Hope Retreat Center from 6:30-8:30pm. If you're closer to the Mitchell Area, we have a group that meets in Mitchell at Bread & Vine Bistro on the second Tuesday of the month at 6:30pm. Contact Denny, Karri or LeAnn with any questions or to let us know you're coming so we can welcome you.