Gideon's Sword Counseling Services

12/20/2019

When someone is broken, don't try to fix them. (You can't). When someone is hurting, don't attempt to take away their pain. (You can't). Instead, love them by walking beside them in the hurt. (You can). Because sometimes what people need is simply to know they aren't alone.

08/26/2019

Be compassionate. Just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

📷: instagram.com/the_mental_man_

08/09/2019

The term spiritual bypassing is tossed around a lot these days, and it’s important to understand. It basically means that we use spiritual platitudes to “bypass” or avoid dealing with our true feelings.
Often, we do this to ourselves:
Instead of owning and understanding our emotions, we ask God to “take them away.”
Instead of seeing shame or guilt as an opportunity to understand ourselves better, we pray for them to somehow magically LEAVE.
Or more subtly, we simply avoid time alone so that we don’t have to face these feelings at all. We use otherwise “good” activities, like Bible study, small groups, or church work to stay far away from what we *really* think and feel.
And if we’re bypassing our own emotions, there’s a good chance we’re encouraging others to do the same.
The problem with spiritual bypassing is that it’s not healthy spirituality. I don’t think God is ever closer than when we get really honest about what we’re really feeling. In my life and work, that’s holy ground.
And It’s not healthy for your process of growth toward wholeness, either. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. You can’t transform what you’ve pretended doesn’t exist.
There’s a time and a place for speaking truth to ourselves and loved ones when we’re struggling. But, please hear me say: EMOTIONS ARE NOT THE ENEMY. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. Fear, even Shame are CUES. They need our attention and understanding not our religious platitudes.
If you’re noticing an unwanted emotion, get curious about it. Try to understand it.
How have you experienced spiritual bypassing?

06/11/2019

06/04/2019

How to Love an Introvert

This is a subject that I can speak on with great confidence since I’m married to an introvert, have several close friends who are introverts, I’ve counseled introverts, and last and certainly not least, I am myself an introvert. As with any personality type, they (we) require particular care, consideration, and understanding. Here are some helpful hints on how to love an introvert:

1) Don’t take certain actions and reactions personally. There are times when introverts seem aloof and don’t want to be bothered. They are not mad at you. They just need some space. Not permanently, but for a little while. They don’t want you to go away completely (well, maybe they do), but just for a short while. If you know them well enough, they will be happy to explain this to you.
2) People are draining. Introverts equate constant time around people the same way a balloon feels when it has a small hole – it’s draining. After a prolonged time around people, introverts need alone time.
3) Give them their alone time. Understand that this is how God created them. They aren’t weird, and they aren’t being melodramatic. They need alone time to refresh and recharge their batteries.
4) Introverts spend a lot of time in their own head. Introverts are usually processors. They like to think and meditate on things. Don’t be surprised when they don’t want to make some decisions quickly or want time to think about a question before they give you an answer. They want to take time and weigh all the options and ramifications.
5) Don’t break the rules and once you establish a pattern, don’t break it. Introverts tend to be averse to change, like order, and are inveterate rule followers. They are the kinds of people that will go over the rules at length before playing a game and will be disconcerted if a rule or an environment undergoes a sudden change
I’m sure there are many other rules that could be listed regarded introversion, but those listed above tend to manifest themselves the most. If you take care, and follow these rules, you will have a happier, healthier introvert.

05/28/2019

From Dr. Henry Cloud:

What is the real value of networking?

We often think of networking as a must-have skill to succeed. Meeting people and leveraging these connections helps us discover different perspectives and unlock exciting opportunities. But what do we really know about connections in leadership? Connections can take one of four forms, which I call corners.

Corner One consists of weak relational cultures. Leaders in this category don’t recognize the value in developing positive and deep relationships with team members. They're disconnected. There, but not there.

Corner Two is bad connection. Leaders with this type of connection actively put down and discourage coworkers and partners. Alternatively, they position themselves as better, more powerful or more successful.

Corner Three is the seductive “good” connection. These types of connections seem positive on the surface, but are driven by a desire to temporarily please others and ourselves. They're full of promise, but no follow through.

Corner Four connections foster growth. Leaders who pursue these types of connections strive for genuine, responsible and ambitious relationships with those they work with. They see the value in teamwork and learn from both success and failure. They see the potential in their team and constantly push others to grow and improve. They give their all genuinely in service of something greater together.

Successful leaders seek out Corner Four connections. They take responsibility for their failures and trust their team members to be autonomous and self-sustainable. They don’t shift blame or dish out superficial praise to keep others happy.

It’s this kind of genuine connection that drives performance. Leaders diligent enough to invest the time and effort in Corner Four relationships reap the rewards. They have a distinct advantage over the competition. They push beyond limits and reach new heights.

Strive to be a Corner Four Leader.

03/20/2019

Crisis Text Line is the free, 24/7, confidential text message service for people in crisis. Text HOME to 741741 in the United States.

03/09/2019

Self-care is not an indulgence. It's the ongoing practice of keeping ourselves physically and emotionally healthy.

02/21/2019