11/28/2020
In honor of Herbert Rosenkranz, I would like to share some ways that you can help support grieving family and friends. These tips come from my own grief, as well as having the tragic privilege supporting families who have experienced loss.
1) Help those who are grieving find ways to remember, and memorialize their loved ones. There is this misconception that if you bring up the name of the person who died, it’s too upsetting, but often times it is more distressing to feel like those surrounding you are forgetting.
2) Do not avoid the person grieving due to you own discomfort. (crossing the street, turning your direction in the grocery store) this leads to further isolation, during a painful time, when often people need connection. If you do not know what to say, simply state “I don’t know what to say, but know I am thinking about you, and am here to listen.” During COVID send texts, cards, thoughtful gifts so they feel supported, but try not to be offended if they need space.
3) Understand that there is no time line for grief, in fact, grieving is a lifelong process. Provide friends and family the space to talk about their loved one, as much as they would like, and for as long as they need. Hold space for the grief instead of pressuring those who have experienced a loss to “move on.”
4) Don’t try to make them feel “better” just allow them to feel, all emotions are OK. If your sentence starts with “at least” DO NOT SAY IT. It is not about doing or fixing the sadness, there is no way to fix grief, the best gift is to just be present in their pain.
Grief is just love with no place to go (Jamie Anderson)
