TherapyLand

01/07/2026

“There is a false belief that accommodating ADHD means lowering standards. In reality, accommodation changes the path, not the goal. It allows people to meet expectations in ways that align with how their brain works.”

**When Understanding Is Promised but Accommodation Is Denied**

This image captures a contradiction that people with ADHD experience every day, and the exhaustion that comes with it. It reflects a conversation that sounds supportive on the surface but becomes harmful the moment expectations stay exactly the same. Being told, “I know you have a disability,” followed immediately by, “but that’s not an excuse,” is not understanding. It is a refusal to adjust, disguised as empathy.

This is not about asking for special treatment. It is about asking for reality to be acknowledged.

**When Disability Is Acknowledged Only in Words**

Many people with ADHD hear this message repeatedly. Others say they understand that ADHD affects organization, time management, focus, emotional regulation, and social interaction. They nod. They agree. They say the right words. But when the actual challenges appear, the response changes.

Deadlines are still rigid. Expectations are still based on neurotypical functioning. Mistakes are still treated as personal failures. Support disappears the moment it requires flexibility.

Understanding that stops at words is not understanding. It is comfort without action.

**Why “Not an Excuse” Becomes a Weapon**

The phrase “that’s not an excuse” carries weight. It implies that the person is choosing their difficulty. It reframes neurological limits as moral weaknesses. It turns a disability into a character flaw.

An excuse suggests avoidance. ADHD struggles are not avoidance. They are differences in how the brain regulates attention, time, memory, and emotion. When someone says, “I know this is hard for you, but you still need to do it the same way,” what they are really saying is, “Your limits are inconvenient to me.”

That is not accountability. That is dismissal.

**The Double Standard No One Names**

People with ADHD are often expected to meet neurotypical standards without neurotypical support. They are told to manage their time like everyone else, organize their thoughts like everyone else, regulate their emotions like everyone else, and socialize like everyone else, while also being reminded that their brain does not work like everyone else.

This contradiction creates constant pressure. It forces people to mask. To overcompensate. To apologize for things they did not choose. To exhaust themselves trying to perform normalcy.

And when they burn out, they are told they should have tried harder.

**Why This Is Ableism, Even When It Sounds Polite**

Ableism does not always look cruel. Sometimes it sounds calm, reasonable, and logical. It shows up as refusing accommodations because they feel unfair. It shows up as praising awareness while rejecting change. It shows up as demanding performance instead of providing access.

Ableism is not only about denying disability exists. It is about acknowledging it and then expecting it not to matter.

If a condition affects how someone functions, and systems refuse to adjust, that is not neutrality. That is exclusion.

**The Emotional Toll of Constant Self-Justification**

Living under these expectations creates deep fatigue. People with ADHD often feel like they are constantly explaining themselves. Why they were late. Why they forgot. Why they misunderstood. Why they need reminders. Why they need things written down. Why they need flexibility.

Over time, this becomes emotionally draining. It teaches people that their needs are inconvenient. That their struggles are burdensome. That asking for help is weakness.

This is why so many people say they are tired. Not just physically, but emotionally. Tired of proving their disability over and over again. Tired of being believed only in theory.

**Why Accountability and Accommodation Are Not Opposites**

There is a false belief that accommodating ADHD means lowering standards. In reality, accommodation changes the path, not the goal. It allows people to meet expectations in ways that align with how their brain works.

Accountability without accommodation is punishment. Accommodation without accountability is support without structure. Healthy environments require both.

People with ADHD do not want excuses. They want tools. They want systems that reduce unnecessary barriers. They want expectations that are realistic instead of idealized.

**What Real Support Actually Looks Like**

Real support looks like flexibility with time when possible. Clear instructions instead of assumptions. Written follow-ups instead of relying on memory. Understanding that productivity may not look linear. Allowing different communication styles. Offering reminders without shame.

It looks like recognizing that effort does not always produce visible results in the same way. It looks like trusting that someone is trying, even when the outcome falls short.

Most importantly, it looks like listening when someone says something is not working for them.

**Why This Conversation Matters So Much**

Images like this resonate because they name something people have been experiencing quietly for years. The frustration of being seen but not supported. The exhaustion of being understood but not accommodated. The pain of being told your disability matters, right up until it becomes inconvenient.

Naming this experience helps people realize they are not imagining it. They are not too sensitive. They are not asking for too much. They are responding to a system that recognizes difference without respecting it.

**The Cost of Forcing Neurotypical Standards**

When people with ADHD are forced to operate under standards that ignore their needs, the cost is high. Burnout. Anxiety. Depression. Loss of self-trust. Withdrawal. Masking that erodes identity.

None of this improves performance. It only creates more harm.

When environments adapt, people thrive. When they do not, people survive at best.

**Why Saying “I’m Tired” Is Not Giving Up**

The final line in the image matters. “I’m tired.” This is not defeat. It is honesty. It is the voice of someone who has been navigating contradictions for too long. Someone who is asking for more than acknowledgment. Someone who wants change.

Being tired does not mean someone is weak. It means they have been strong for a long time without enough support.

**What Needs to Change**

What needs to change is not the existence of ADHD. It is how systems respond to it. Awareness without action is empty. Understanding without adjustment is harmful. Inclusion without accommodation is performative.

People with ADHD do not need to justify their needs endlessly. They need environments that recognize those needs as valid.

**The Truth Beneath the Image**

This image is not an attack. It is a reflection. It shows the gap between intention and impact. It shows how easily people can claim to be supportive while maintaining systems that exclude.

Closing that gap requires humility. It requires listening. It requires letting go of the idea that fairness means sameness.

Because treating everyone the same in an unequal system is not fairness. It is neglect.

And people with ADHD are tired of carrying that weight quietly.

01/03/2026

**RESPOND WITH CARE: Special Needs Occupant Sticker Program Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office**

The Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office is proud to participate in a growing national program designed to help first responders better serve individuals with special needs.


Displaying a Special Needs Occupant Sticker alerts law enforcement, EMS, and fire personnel that a person inside a home or vehicle may have unique communication, medical, mobility, or sensory needs. This helps first responders approach situations with added awareness, patience, and appropriate accommodations—improving safety for everyone involved.


WHO CAN USE THE STICKER?


This program may benefit individuals with:
• Autism spectrum disorder
• Sensory sensitivities
• Cognitive or developmental differences
• Hearing or vision impairments
• Mobility challenges
• Other special needs that may affect communication or response in emergencies


WHERE SHOULD THE STICKER BE DISPLAYED?


At Home: Place the sticker near the front entrance where it is easily visible.
In a Vehicle: Place the sticker on the rear window so approaching first responders can clearly see it.


WHAT DOES THE STICKER TELL FIRST RESPONDERS?


When first responders see the sticker, they understand there may be a person present who:
• May not be able to speak or respond verbally
• May become overwhelmed by lights, sirens, noise, or unexpected interaction
• May need instructions delivered calmly and clearly
• May have mobility or medical needs


This awareness helps responders slow down, adjust their approach, and ensure safer, more supportive interactions.


HOW DO I GET A STICKER?


Stickers are available at:
Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office
198 North Washington Street
Rutherfordton, NC 28139


Sheriff Aaron Ellenburg will also have stickers available when out in the community, or you may contact him directly.

12/11/2025

ADHD and the Noise Paradox – When Silence Is Too Loud and Sound Is Too Much

There’s a unique kind of chaos that exists in the ADHD brain, and one of the most under-discussed areas is sensory sensitivity—especially around noise.

Some days, silence feels like a weight pressing down on you. You need something, anything, to fill the void. Music, a podcast, the hum of a fan—background noise becomes a lifeline to focus. You can't function without it.

Other days, the tiniest sound—the ticking of a clock, the murmur of a TV in another room, the clinking of cutlery—feels unbearable. It’s like your brain can't filter anything out. Every sound is an intrusion, every distraction a storm.

And here’s the confusing part: for many people with ADHD, both experiences are true.

Sensory Dysregulation in ADHD: Why Noise Affects Us Differently

ADHD isn’t just about focus or impulse control—it also involves how our brains process sensory input. This is why some people with ADHD also meet criteria for Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), or experience traits that overlap with it.

Sensory dysregulation means your nervous system has trouble managing incoming information. Your brain either craves stimulation or is overwhelmed by it—sometimes both at once.

That’s why you might:

Work better with a noisy café playlist in the background

Feel more grounded when there's a podcast on while cleaning

Use TV shows as background noise just to fall asleep

But then...

A ticking clock becomes unbearable

You get angry when someone chews loudly near you

A crowded space feels like your brain is under attack

This isn’t moodiness. It’s neurobiology.

Why Background Noise Helps Sometimes

Many ADHD brains operate best when there's just enough stimulation to keep the mind engaged. Without it, the brain starts searching for something to latch onto, which leads to distractions, restlessness, or zoning out.

That’s why many ADHDers use "body doubling" or ambient sound like white noise, music, or nature sounds to stay on task. These controlled forms of noise provide stimulation—but without surprise. They don’t demand attention. They give your brain an anchor.

This is especially helpful during:

Studying

Chores

Driving

Falling asleep

But here's the twist—not all noise is created equal.

Why Some Noise Feels Like Torture

The ADHD brain often struggles with sensory filtering—meaning it doesn’t easily tune out unimportant sounds. What neurotypical people can ignore (a fan, footsteps, background chatter), your brain might amplify.

This can make you feel:

Irritated for “no reason”

Overwhelmed even in relatively quiet environments

Exhausted after being in noisy places

You’re not being dramatic. You’re not “too sensitive.” Your brain is genuinely working harder to handle input that others don’t even notice.

Why Both Can Be True for the Same Person

This is where it gets even more confusing: you might need noise one moment and loathe it the next. And that shift can be sudden.

You might start your day with music blasting through headphones, but by mid-afternoon, every sound feels like sandpaper on your brain. Or you love listening to background chatter in public—until one person starts laughing too loudly and suddenly it’s unbearable.

This inconsistency often leads people with ADHD to doubt themselves.

“Why does this not bother me sometimes, but drive me insane other times?”

“Why can’t I just pick one way my brain works and stick with it?”

“Is this normal?”

The answer is yes—for an ADHD brain, this is normal.

Because regulation—whether emotional, sensory, or cognitive—isn’t our strong suit. And noise regulation is no exception.

What You Can Do When the World Is Too Loud or Too Quiet

There’s no one-size-fits-all fix, but here are some strategies that might help:

Curate Your Noise
Identify what types of sound help you focus or relax—like rain sounds, instrumental music, or low-volume podcasts. Use apps that let you customize the sound environment.

Use Noise-Canceling Tools
On days when your brain can’t filter sounds, use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones—not to block everything, but to control what gets in.

Create a Sensory Menu
Make a list of sensory supports for different moods: what helps when you’re overstimulated, and what helps when you’re understimulated. This gives you options when your brain can’t decide what it needs.

Practice Self-Compassion
If one hour you need sound and the next you can’t stand it, remind yourself: you’re not being difficult—you’re responding to a nervous system that’s trying to protect you.

Communicate Needs
Let the people around you know that your relationship with noise might change throughout the day. It’s okay to ask for quiet—or to say, “Hey, I need background noise to focus right now.”

The Bottom Line: ADHD and Sound Sensitivity Isn’t a Quirk—It’s a Real, Lived Experience

The world isn’t built with neurodivergent sensory needs in mind. It expects consistency, predictability, and regulation—three things the ADHD brain doesn’t always deliver on. And when your environment doesn’t support your sensory rhythm, it’s easy to blame yourself.

But you’re not broken.

You’re just wired differently.

Sometimes that means blasting a playlist to get through the day.

Other times, it means sitting in silence and asking everyone around you to please, just for a moment, stop talking.

Both are valid.

Both are real.

And both are part of the ADHD experience.

12/09/2025

It’s Christmas group week at TL this week! We are excited for more groups this week and will be open for group times scheduled (without delay) on Tuesday morning. 🎄

12/07/2025

“I Can’t Have ADHD; I’m Not Hyper!”

People often imagine hyperactivity as a child bouncing off walls, running around classrooms, or interrupting everyone loudly. But the truth is far more complex. Hyperactivity is not always loud, visible, or physical. In adults especially, it often turns inward. It becomes mental, emotional, invisible — but still overwhelming. And this is why so many people grow up believing they couldn’t possibly have ADHD, simply because they don’t fit the stereotype.

This graphic shows exactly that: hyperactivity wears many faces. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it hides behind productivity. Sometimes it sounds like talking too much, thinking too fast, or struggling to wind down even when your body is exhausted. And sometimes it’s internal chaos that no one else notices, because the struggle happens behind quiet eyes and a busy mind.

This caption dives deeper into each of these hidden signs — not just to explain them, but to validate the people who have lived their entire lives thinking “something feels different,” without knowing what to call it.

Mental Restlessness: The Hyperactivity No One Sees

Hyperactivity isn’t always physical movement. For many people, it’s a racing mind that never sits still. Thoughts bouncing, ideas sparking, worries circling, memories replaying — all without pause. You might look calm on the outside, but your brain feels like it’s running a marathon at full speed. This kind of hyperactivity is exhausting, not energizing. And it’s one of the most overlooked signs of ADHD because it’s invisible.

Talking Fast, Overexplaining, or Oversharing

Another form of hyperactivity lives in speech. You talk quickly, jump between topics, or explain more than needed because your brain is processing at high speed. Thoughts come so fast you feel like you must keep up by talking faster. Sometimes you overshare accidentally, or fill silence because silence feels uncomfortable. This isn’t rudeness. It’s hyperactivity channelled into communication.

Struggling to Wind Down at Night

A calm body does not mean a calm mind. People with ADHD often experience their most intense mental activity at bedtime. When the world gets quiet and there are no distractions, thoughts get louder. You replay conversations, remember every task you didn’t finish, and suddenly get ideas at 2 AM. Hyperactivity shows up as restlessness when you’re trying your hardest to relax.

Jumping Between Tasks Without Finishing

Hyperactivity can also be task-related. You start something, get an idea, leave that task, begin another, see something else, jump again — until you’re surrounded by half-finished things. It’s not intentional chaos. It’s the ADHD brain responding to interest, novelty, or distraction. This is hyperactivity expressed through actions, not energy.

Constant Need for Background Noise

For many ADHD brains, silence feels louder than noise. Total quiet makes thoughts echo and multiply. So you crave stimulation — music, TV, podcasts, sounds — to help regulate your focus. This is hyperactivity seeking balance. Noise becomes the anchor that keeps your mind from drifting too fast in too many directions.

Interrupting Without Meaning To

Interrupting isn’t always impulsive or rude. Sometimes it’s fear — fear of forgetting what you want to say, fear of losing the thought mid-sentence, fear that your working memory won’t hold it. ADHD impulsivity mixes with urgency, and the words escape before you can stop them. This is another invisible form of hyperactivity: the inability to “wait your turn” mentally.

A Brain That Never Turns Off

Even when your body is tired, your brain keeps spinning. You lie down, your limbs relax, but mentally you’re still running. Your thoughts jump from problem-solving to replaying memories to planning tomorrow. It isn’t a choice — it’s neurological hyperactivity. For many people with ADHD, rest doesn’t come naturally. Stillness feels foreign.

Impulse Buying and the “I’ll Figure It Out Later” Mindset

Hyperactivity is tied closely to impulsivity. When your brain seeks stimulation, buying something — even something small — gives a momentary dopamine hit. You might buy things you don’t need, plan to “figure it out later,” or treat shopping as a form of emotional regulation. Again, this isn’t irresponsibility. It’s dopamine-seeking behavior tied to ADHD wiring.

Feeling Bored Too Easily

Even things you enjoy can lose their spark quickly. ADHD hyperactivity shows up as a low tolerance for boredom. You need stimulation — mental, emotional, or sensory. When something becomes predictable or repetitive, your brain drifts away. This can confuse people around you, but internally it feels like your mind just slips out of gear.

Overcommitting Because Stillness Feels Wrong

Many adults with ADHD take on more than they can handle — joining projects, saying yes to requests, starting new hobbies. Not because they want to be overwhelmed, but because stillness feels uncomfortable. Movement, activity, and busyness become coping mechanisms for the internal restlessness.

Pacing or Walking While Thinking

Some people think best when they move. Pacing, walking in circles, tapping feet, or shifting constantly — these aren’t random habits. They’re physical outlets for mental hyperactivity. Movement helps regulate thought speed. It helps process ideas. It creates steadiness inside the chaos.

Difficulty Staying Present in Conversations

Your body is there. You’re listening with the intention to care. But your mind drifts anyway — onto something else, into another thought, toward an unrelated idea. This doesn’t mean you’re uninterested. It means your hyperactive mind shifts faster than you can control. Presence becomes a challenge not from lack of effort, but from the internal noise.

Hyperactivity Isn’t Always Loud — Sometimes It’s Silent

This is the message most people don’t understand. Hyperactivity isn’t just physical. It can be emotional, verbal, mental, behavioral, or internal. And adults — especially women — often go undiagnosed because they don’t match the “hyper kid” stereotype. But your experience is valid. Your restlessness is real. Your difficulty relaxing, your fast thoughts, your constant mental motion — these are forms of hyperactivity too.

Understanding this version of ADHD helps people see their symptoms clearly for the first time — not as flaws, but as patterns with explanations.

12/05/2025

🎄Good to remember! 💚

From the_therapist_parent

12/01/2025

Calling any high school, college, or home school students interested in obtaining community volunteer hours, shadow hours for OT programs, or have a desire to learn about the wonderful world of occupational therapy?? TherapyLand is accepting applications for volunteers with an opportunity to be a “TL elf” assisting TherapyLanders all while having a wonderful Christmas time making cookies, helping with crafts, setting up Christmas activity stations, our version of reindeer games , and even may get to sneak in a “snow ball” challenge or 2. 🙂

Anyone interested can assist for a few hours after school, during early release, the whole day, or all week! We will be beginning groups Monday afternoon 12-8-25, and conducting daily Tuesday 12-9, Wednesday 12-10, and Thursday 12-11. Groups will starting around 9-9:30, break for lunch, and then 2 groups in afternoon that are typically around with the last group around 3:30/5:30. It Is ok if you arrive a few minutes late after school!

Interested?? Please Send our TherapyLand page a message to arrange or call the office at 828-286-4125 and press 1 for the front desk!

We can’t wait to have some TherapyLand Christmas fun!

12/01/2025

There’s something strangely comforting about imagining Santa Claus with ADHD.
Not because it’s funny, but because it suddenly makes so many things about him make sense in a way that feels deeply relatable.
The energy, the chaos, the last-minute magic, the endless lists, the hyperfocus, the forgotten cookies, the sudden bursts of productivity that somehow manage to save the entire world in one night—it all fits perfectly.

Think about it.
Santa tries to stay organized with lists, but he checks them twice because he doesn’t trust his own memory.
He says he’ll start gift prep early, but somehow December 24th arrives and he’s like, “Oh no. It’s today.”
And then something miraculous happens:
hyperfocus kicks in.
Suddenly he’s unstoppable.
Wrapping gifts at superhuman speed.
Flying across the entire planet with laser focus.
Doing forty hours of work in eight hours like every ADHD person on their best chaotic day.

His workshop?
Pure ADHD energy.
Half-finished toys everywhere.
Random inventions in corners.
Elves reminding him what he was supposed to be doing.
Sticky notes he wrote in July that he doesn’t remember writing.
A thousand ideas for new toys he’ll start but maybe never finish.

And Mrs. Claus?
She’s probably spent years gently guiding him back on track.
Helping him remember where he left the sleigh keys.
Reminding him not to leave the North Pole without his bag.
Keeping the calendar because Santa absolutely cannot be trusted with dates.

Even the reindeer get it.
Dasher and Dancer are used to mid-flight distractions.
Comet and Cupid know the routine when Santa suddenly decides to take a “shortcut.”
Rudolph probably became the lead reindeer because he was the only one who could keep Santa focused on the actual route.

But here’s the most beautiful part:
Despite the chaos, the forgotten details, the scattered thoughts, the last-minute rush—
Santa always delivers.
He may not do things the “normal” way.
He may not follow a straight line.
He may struggle all year long with the same things so many ADHD minds struggle with.
But when it counts, he finds his rhythm.
He finds his spark.
He finds his magic.
And he shows up for everyone.

Maybe that’s why imagining Santa with ADHD feels so familiar.
Because neurodivergent people live like this every day—messy, scattered, brilliant, and capable of extraordinary things when their spark finally ignites.

Santa isn’t perfect.
He’s human.
Well… magical human.
But still—beautifully imperfect.

Just like every ADHD mind that finds its own way to deliver magic in the world.

11/27/2025

TherapyLand wishes everyone a blessed Thanksgiving! We are thankful for all of the young lives and families we have the opportunity to work with every day, as well as the sensational physicians, providers, colleges, educators, and talented professionals we are thankful to graciously have the oppotunity to work with as a team in this wonderful community! We show gratitude for the honor of being blessed by you daily.

11/26/2025

*If your sensory-sensitive family member with ASD or sensory processing disorder needs to eat separate to enjoy time with you, understand they aren’t being anti-social…. Instead they may be trying to make it thru the holiday with family for the entire day. Sometimes a break is a way to spend MORE time!

Also, parents remember that a 5-10 minute break with decreased noise, crowd, visual input, and smells can be very helpful every 1.5-2 hours especially when combined with deep pressure/hard work (proprioceptive) activities. Proprioception is star of sensory like the turkey on Thanksgiving is to help decrease overwhelm and promote regulation!

11/26/2025

One piece of handwriting that isn't always covered is 𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. This ability to store a motor plan for letter formation helps with automaticity and functional writing. We have information on this skill...along with a great resource on knowing WHEN to consider discharge from school based OT for handwriting needs here: https://www.theottoolbox.com/how-long-should-ots-address-handwriting/