Desired Lives Wellness

Desired Lives Wellness Healing & Growth Community for Women Impacted by a Loved One's Addiction. Self-Care Isn't Selfish.

Movement has always been a part of my healing and growth.Twenty years ago, walking was the first thing I did to take car...
11/17/2025

Movement has always been a part of my healing and growth.

Twenty years ago, walking was the first thing I did to take care of myself when my life felt heavy and chaotic. Walking turned to running, then group fitness, then hot yoga. I love them all. ♥

And now, all these years later, I’m stepping into a new chapter of fitness.

I just finished a week of training with Gabi Walters at Inferno Hot Pilates to become an IHP instructor!!!! Woo Hoo.

Not as a new direction, but as an expansion of everything I already do — helping women rebuild strength, reconnect to themselves, and remember their personal power.

Coaching. Healing. Movement.
For me, they all belong together.

For my Spokane women:
I’ll be teaching locally at BeYOUtiful Hot Yoga soon, and I can’t wait to bring this blend of strength + mindset + empowerment into our community.

Step 12 – Thriving Is PossibleFrom pain to peace.From control to compassion.From codependency to kindness.Step 12: the o...
11/13/2025

Step 12 – Thriving Is Possible

From pain to peace.
From control to compassion.
From codependency to kindness.

Step 12: the one where we give back.
Could there be a better day to close this series than ?

Proactive Twelve Step Language: My life reflects a growing sense of respect and compassion for myself and others. I share this process with others who are struggling.

My Version: My life represents growth, self-compassion, and personal freedom from the chaos caused by a loved one’s addiction. I share this process with others who are struggling.

Roast: Congrats, you’re now living proof that thriving is possible. Please teach the class, but maybe skip the PowerPoint.

If any of these twelve steps stirred something in you—if you’re ready to turn reflection into forward motion—join me for a free one-week Momentum Challenge starting November 19.

We’ll reconnect with our energy, rebuild consistency, and create momentum through small daily reflections.

Comment MOMENTUM or send me a DM, and I’ll get you the details.

What if you believed with your whole heart the truth about the endless possibilities that exist for you?If you’ve ever l...
11/12/2025

What if you believed with your whole heart the truth about the endless possibilities that exist for you?

If you’ve ever loved someone struggling with addiction, you know how easy it is to lose yourself in their chaos.

Maybe you’ve done the work to find your footing again — or maybe you’re still figuring out how to shift the focus back to you.

Either way, this is your next step forward.

Starting November 19, I’m hosting a Mini Momentum Challenge inside my Healing and Growth Circle Facebook Group. It's a free one-week experience designed to help you reconnect with your energy and create forward motion through small, daily reflections.

Each morning, I’ll share one simple prompt to help you pause, reflect, and take action — plus an optional Daily Fire from the Growth Day app for a quick burst of inspiration.

If you’ve been craving progress, peace, and a renewed sense of focus, this is for you.

✨ Comment MOMENTUM or send me a DM, and I’ll send you the details.✨

Step 11 – Space for PeaceProactive Twelve Steps Language: I make space in my life for mindful reflection. A sense of mea...
11/11/2025

Step 11 – Space for Peace

Proactive Twelve Steps Language: I make space in my life for mindful reflection. A sense of meaning and purpose naturally arises from that.

My Version: I make space in my life for conscious, mindful, and intentional living. A sense of personal power and peace naturally evolves.

Roast: Step 11 is your permission slip to sit, breathe, and not feel guilty about it. The peace you’re looking for isn’t hiding in your to-do list.

This step reminds us we don't have to be perfect, but we do need to be intentional if we want to feel peace and harmony.

It's okay to rest.
It's okay to receive.
It's okay to just be.

Nothing to fix.
Nobody to save.

It's the little things for me.The coffee that is not only delicious, but also so pretty.Spending hours browsing cute sho...
11/10/2025

It's the little things for me.

The coffee that is not only delicious, but also so pretty.

Spending hours browsing cute shops in downtown districts only to leave with a $2 magnet, but still feel completely satisfied.

Falling in love with pretty much anything with printed affirmations - the feel-good, positive kind, and the spicy F@ck the Patriarchy messages too.

The quiet stillness of the hot room before, during, and after hot yoga. Priceless!

Dog walks while listening to good words - maybe it's a book on audible, or a podcast, or my favorite daily life coaching audio I use with my Healing & Growth Circle members.

The quiet stillness of the hot room before, during and after hot yoga. Priceless!

These and many other small things bring me joy, but they didn't just fall into place.
I worked for them.

Simple as it sounds, it wasn't always easy to recognize the little things that could bring me joy when I was so busy trying to manage the addiction of another.

When I finally set down the heaviness of attempted control, I started to learn who I was again.

And the coolest thing? I got to decide who I wanted to become.

Twenty plus years later, I'm still deciding, evolving, and becoming.

Start small, friend.

What's one simple thing that brings you joy?

Go create that moment for yourself.

Step 10 – Update Your Operating SystemProactive Twelve-Step Language: I keep paying attention to the causes and effects ...
11/10/2025

Step 10 – Update Your Operating System

Proactive Twelve-Step Language: I keep paying attention to the causes and effects of my actions. I act accordingly.

My Version: I continue to notice my behaviors and their impact on myself and others. I adjust as needed.

Roast: Think of this as your personal system updates. No one likes the pop-up reminder, but ignoring it usually leads to a crash.

The reason we follow these steps, especially in the beginning, is that it's so damn easy to fall back into old codependency patterns. Step 10 is one of the most important because it's maintenance for your soul.

Reminder: Healing & Growth isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about getting real, getting curious, and taking mindful action. This is why we do it differently in the Healing & Growth Circle. DM for info.

Step 10 of 12 | Follow along for the next roast.

Through my intuition, I am the creator of my life.When we learn to tap into the rhythm of our intuition, we are better e...
11/09/2025

Through my intuition, I am the creator of my life.

When we learn to tap into the rhythm of our intuition, we are better equipped to handle the seasons of life.

Maybe you're in a season of healing. You're allowing grief, anger, and sadness to surface so it can fall away.

Maybe you're in a season of growth. You're walking with intention through the messy middle and noticing the vibrant colors on the path instead of focusing on the coldness of your circumstances.

Maybe you're in a season of stillness. You're finding peace in the quiet vibes of your life and allowing what comes in to just BE.

Maybe you're in a season of rebirth. You're exploring new opportunities, trusting that if you keep moving forward with intention, the universe will have your back.

Wherever you are on your journey, tune into the inner wisdom of your intuition. Watch for the serendipitous moments. They're all around you.

And when you focus on noticing the grand scale at which the Universe is conspiring with your intuition to give you literally everything you want and need, you become even more settled, grounded, and available to receive.

Step 9 – Walk the Talk (Within Reason)Original: I apply these new mindful behaviors in my everyday life. I sincerely apo...
11/07/2025

Step 9 – Walk the Talk (Within Reason)

Original: I apply these new mindful behaviors in my everyday life. I sincerely apologize to people I have hurt, except when counterproductive.

My Version: I use my new mindful behaviors in my communications with the addict and in everyday life, and take responsibility for overstepping, except when to do so would cause additional harm.

Roast: Yes, it’s time to walk the talk. And no, apologizing for breathing too loud in 1997 is not required.

Healing & Growth isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about getting real, getting curious, and taking mindful action. This is why we do it differently in the Healing & Growth Circle.

Which part of this step hit home for you? Share below.

Earlier this year, I set out to create a new kind of mastermind for women who have been impacted by a loved one’s addict...
11/06/2025

Earlier this year, I set out to create a new kind of mastermind for women who have been impacted by a loved one’s addiction. That group is called The Healing & Growth Circle. My vision has been to create a growth-oriented space where awareness turns into action, and reflection turns into momentum.

Even though I started my own recovery and growth journey more than 20 years ago, the work hasn’t stopped. My growth path continues — new challenges, new opportunities, and new versions of me to meet along the way.

The mental toolkit I built over the years is the same one I now share with my community. It’s what I lean on when doubt creeps in, when fear whispers “what if,” and when life asks me to step into something bigger. [Hint: something bigger is coming for me.]

Because here’s the truth:
✨ Knowing the truth about addiction isn’t enough.
✨ Awareness is only the first step.
✨ Integration requires feeling.

We can’t just think our way into peace — we have to feel our way through it.
And when we do, healing becomes more than survival… it becomes growth.

And now, I’m opening the doors even wider.

Starting this month, the Healing & Growth Circle is completely free to join.
The only step to join is to start your free 7-day Growth Day trial using my link — that’s where we build our foundation for daily reflection and mindset tools.

Once you’re in, you’ll get access to:
🌿 A private community of growth-minded women
🌿 Monthly live calls & mindset lessons
🌿 Our all-new Momentum Challenge: Creating Momentum through Reflection & Simple Actions (starts Nov 19!)

Now is the perfect time to join us.

Comment MOMENTUM or send me a DM, and we’ll chat to see if it’s the right fit for you.

You don’t have to do this alone — but you do have to take the first step.

PS. Are you local to Spokane? Come check out our monthly meetup happening TONIGHT, Nov 6 at 6pm. Event info in the comments.

Step 8 – Rehearse the New YouOriginal: I explore alternative behaviors and rehearse them in safe settings.My Version: I ...
10/31/2025

Step 8 – Rehearse the New You

Original: I explore alternative behaviors and rehearse them in safe settings.

My Version: I practice in my mind and in settings that feel safe, new, and mindful behaviors with courage, vulnerability, and honesty.

Roast: Basically, try out the new you in the safety of your own emotional dressing room before taking it live. Think of it as rehearsal, not opening night.

Healing & Growth isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about getting real, getting curious, and taking mindful action. This is why we do it differently in the Healing & Growth Circle.

Our next in-person meet-up is Thursday, November 6. Comment GROUP and I'll send you the details or DM me!

Barbie Haven | Helping women untangle from the chaos of a loved one’s addiction.

She found my gold heels and slipped them on without hesitation, grinning like she already knew she belonged in them.It r...
10/30/2025

She found my gold heels and slipped them on without hesitation, grinning like she already knew she belonged in them.

It reminded me how naturally we reach for the next version of ourselves when no one tells us to shrink.

❤️

Step 7 – Vulnerability: Party of OneOriginal: I learn to accept the sense of vulnerability that goes with life’s pressur...
10/29/2025

Step 7 – Vulnerability: Party of One

Original: I learn to accept the sense of vulnerability that goes with life’s pressures and uncertainties.

My Version: I acknowledge I must accept vulnerability and uncertainty to progress past my fears and coping mechanisms.

Roast: Welcome to the magical land of Vulnerability. Population: you, and all the feelings you’ve been dodging like bad Wi-Fi.

This is usually the part where my clients get stuck or have to revisit often. There's no shame in that. It's hard to accept uncertainty. And it's hard to integrate what you're learning, especially if you feel triggered.

We tend to want to avoid feeling what we feel because it hurts. It's a coping mechanism and it's served you up until this point. But now, you're on a path of healing and growth. And that requires you to learn how to feel what you've been avoiding.

Listen, that feeling you're avoiding is asking to be received, not solved. It's asking to be felt, not fixed.

Stop trying to figure things out and settle into how you FEEL, and the vulnerabilty will come.

Step 7 of 12 | Follow along for the next roast.

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