The Intentional Therapist

The Intentional Therapist I’m Lauren, a licensed counselor trained in EMDR. Here to create convos about mental health!

04/26/2024

To be acquainted with grief is to know that you have chosen love at the risk of losing it all.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

✨Proverbs 13:12

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

✨Psalm 94:17-19

The Lord is near to the broken-hearted & saves the crushed in spirit.

✨Psalm 34:18

To grant those that mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit, that they may be called oaks of righteousness.

✨Isaiah 61:3

He was despised and rejected by men, a man or sorrows and acquainted with grief.

✨Isaiah 53:3

Disclaimer: this page is for entertainment and educational purposes only & not to be used as a substitute for mental health advice or counseling services.

09/27/2023

Regulation is not a one size fits all. What works for my kiddo, may not for yours.

Adapt the skills to fit your needs and your child’s needs. Consider asking yourself the following questions to lean in or know where you need to take breaks in attempts to helping your kiddo(s) regulate.

😮‍💨 What are my triggers in parenting? And do I feel equipped to regulate myself when upset or do I often feel guilty for losing my cool?

😮‍💨 Do I feel the need to rush my kids along to regulation before they are ready?

😮‍💨 Do I validate, empathize and ask questions to ensure my kids feel heard even when they are dysregulated?

😮‍💨 Do I redirect myself and kids from trying to talk or problem solve when they are dysregulated?

😮‍💨 Are their skills I’ve practiced with my kid prior to the moment of needing them, and do I offer to do it with them or am I communicating like it’s all on them to regulate and “use their skills”?

😮‍💨 While resolving the conflict, am I communicating love and understanding or blame/guilt/shame? Am I discussing how they/I can improve next time, or just talking about what wasn’t okay?

😮‍💨 Do I conclude conflict with my kid by connecting with words or affection?

Disclaimer: this page is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be used to substitute or provide mental health services.

08/02/2023

This might be a bit cringy. This self-care tip is not though!

Go get yourself a fresh cucumber. Cut off the end. Throw it in your freezer. And it’s ready to use for your next facial.

Fun fact: It’s also super effective for targeting points around your face and neck that are connected to your vagus nerve which will kick in your brains “break-system” known as the parasympathetic system. Which is deeply needed if you are stressed or anxious (caught up in the fight/flight or sympathetic system overdrive).

Want more tips for cold therapy options?

Save & follow for more🤗

Disclaimer: this page is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended to provide or replace clinical mental health services or advice.


The most effective communicators are first excellent listeners. Read that again. What tips would you add that set good l...
07/09/2023

The most effective communicators are first excellent listeners. Read that again.

What tips would you add that set good listening skills apart from excellent listening skills? (Drop them in the comments below 👇🏽)

07/09/2023

We all desire to be wanted and needed with those around us. And I wonder how many of us leave others feeling drained and unseen because we don’t have the awareness that the connection we seek isn’t leaving others with the connection they wanted or needed with us.

Here is one practical tool to consider implementing in your day to day interactions, in hopes that people leave from spending time with you, longing for more, because your presence was safe, accepting, warm, intentional, loving and like a massive hug.

Now this doesn’t mean you don’t get to be authentically yourself and share your needs, thoughts and feelings. But this post is about balancing your interactions with mindfulness that the way you feel most connected to others isn’t always the way they feel most connected.

Disclaimer: this page is for educational and entertainment services only. It is not meant to be a replacement or form of mental health services or to provide clinical advise.

03/15/2023

Some of our relational patterns of dysfunction are related to unresolved attachment wounds that we may or may not be aware of?

Attachments are first established with your parents. If these attachments or connections are harmful, wounding, traumatic, abusive or negligent—then we grow up as children and later adults living internal and external narratives tracking back to these foundational moments with our main attachment figures.

Some of us believe we are unloveable. Unworthy. Too much. Not enough. Always responsible. Unwanted. The list goes on and on, and most of these lies develop from very early ages, but these narratives carry into daily life with self and your relationships with others.

Is it no wonder that some of your perpetual problems in your intimate relationships may be connected to unconscious fears, cycles, lies and needs all spawning from early childhood experiences?

If you believe you’re always responsible then you might find yourself in a partnership with someone that celebrates your hyper-independence, and responsibility to juggle all of the things. Maybe you have a hard time asking for help? Team work in your relationship is minimal. And maybe you even have bitterness while thinking, “ I do everything, why doesn’t my partner help? Why do I have to ask?” This same adult, was a child whom was expected to parent or coparent their parents or siblings. Being a part of adult conversations about the stressors of finances, conflicts within the family unit, and emotionally soothing/comforting your parent. Expected to find the answer, the solution to reduce the tension and stress for your family or for your parents. Does this sound familiar?

Reminder: this page is for entertainment and educational purposes only & should not be used as a substitute or in place of mental health advice or treatment.

03/15/2023

7 wisdoms I’ve carried into my professional & personal life that I think most people would benefit from knowing:

✨ Be grateful for your triggers, because they inform you of unhealed places in yourself.

✨Chaos is addictive & takes time to detox from. When you start to undo and unlearn these habits, gifts like peace may feel more like boredom. Don’t fall for that trap.

✨Areas of your life that feel under attack, are likely a place of strength and or a gift/calling on your life. Remember, an enemy doesn’t attack something of little threat or value.

✨You can be right about something and go about it in the wrong way, and suddenly no longer be “right”. If sacrificing a relationship is what it took for you to be right, then my friend, you are no longer in the “right”.

✨Healing co-occurs when we let ourselves freely feel. Stuffing, avoiding and distracting ourselves postpones our recovery. Temporary relief often leads to chronic dysfunction.

✨We attract who we are and what we carry. The good the bad & the ugly. If your dissatisfied with your “people” you may need to start looking inwardly to see what in you attracted those types of people.

✨Your thoughts are not you. Imagine who you are is the ocean, your thoughts are what can occur or take place in the ocean. Some thoughts are like an oil spill, polluting and even sometimes deadly. You are not your thoughts, no matter how dark, polluted or deceptive they can be.

If these were helpful, be sure to like, share with a friend & follow for more 😘

03/15/2023

Bilateral Stimulation or BLS is a mouthful. But did you know…

🪴When we are emotionally dysregulated often due to anxiety or stress our brain can become what we refer to as emotionally flooded. Which basically means we cannot think or problem solve correctly because the right side of our brain has essentially hijacked our ability to do so?

🪴Bilateral Stimulation is the process of activating and alternating from left to right stimulation of your body. This can be done in a multitude of ways either 👁visually, 💪🏽kinesthetically or 🗣audial.

🪴Bilateral Stimulation serves as a tool to activate and the key word here is to “integrate” our 🧠 brain’s ability to work in tandem, where we are cognitively capable to problem solve and emotionally regulate! I like to say our brain is like a house who’s power goes out & BLS serves as the breaker box that provides a reset to get things back up & running the way they were designed.

🪴Some of the common ways to institute BLS include the “butterfly hug”, “angel hug” & my personal favorite, “feet tapping”. Additionally, check out Bilateral Stimulation: EMDR Music Therapy with a set of headphones on any music provider you prefer!

🪴Next time you are feeling anxious, stressed or merely have “brain fog”, I’d encourage you to try out one of these BLS methods!

03/15/2023

Our thoughts and the words we say over ourselves, situations & others—either bring life or death, beauty or gloom, healing or brokenness.

Choose the better thing. Wonder more, worry less.

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1300 E Bradford Pkwy
Springfield, MO
65807

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