Ihsan Coaching

Ihsan Coaching We offer a modern, solution-focused coaching approach to help you overcome life's struggles.

12/18/2025

Ever exploded during an argument only to regret those words forever? The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent."

Why do we lash out? When emotions flood our system, the rational part of our brain actually shuts down. That's not just psychology—it's human nature Allah created in us.

Those heated moments can destroy in seconds what took years to build. The damage compounds when one partner pushes while the other withdraws.

The solution is beautifully simple: take a timeout. Say "I need a few minutes to cool down" and set a specific time to resume. This isn't avoidance—it's wisdom.

Try using "I feel" statements instead of accusatory "you" statements. This approach reflects the Islamic principle of gentle speech, as Allah reminds us in the Quran to speak with kindness.

Next disagreement, pause. Breathe. Return with clarity. Your relationship deserves this protection.









12/18/2025

Feeling stuck is actually Allah's invitation to greatness. 💫

That delay you're frustrated about? It's not a denial—it's divine protection. When nothing seems to be moving forward, Allah SWT is working behind the scenes, orchestrating something far better than your plans.

Remember: true sabr isn't passive waiting. It's that powerful first moment when challenge hits and you choose trust over panic.

The Prophet ﷺ taught us that patience at the first stroke of calamity is what separates the wise from the restless. That small pause when you breathe instead of break? That's where wisdom takes root.

Your "not yet" is Allah's "I have better." He's not holding you back—He's lining everything up perfectly for you.

ACTIONABLE TIP: Next time frustration hits, take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself: "What might Allah be protecting me from through this delay?"

🛑 You've been measuring your parenting success ALL WRONG. (here's why)I see this pattern in so many Muslim homes.Mama do...
12/15/2025

🛑 You've been measuring your parenting success ALL WRONG. (here's why)

I see this pattern in so many Muslim homes.

Mama does everything. School runs. Meal prep. Homework. Bedtime. Doctor appointments. The mental load that never ends.

Then Baba comes home and suddenly he's the hero.

The kids scream his name. Jump on him. Beg him to play.

And something inside you twists.

You'd never say it out loud. But you feel it.

"I'm here all day and THIS is the thanks I get?"

So you start doing little things.

Pointing out what he doesn't know. Correcting how he does things. Making yourself indispensable.

Not because you're controlling.

But because somewhere deep down, you're terrified of being replaced in their hearts.

Here's what I learned the hard way:

When you compete with your husband for your children's love, everybody loses.

Your marriage becomes a battlefield.

Your kids feel the tension even when you're smiling.

And you? You're running a race that has no finish line.

Allah didn't design marriage as a competition.

He designed it as a refuge. A partnership. Two people covering each other's weaknesses.

Your children don't need you to be their favorite.

They need to see you honor their father.

They need to watch you build him up, not tear him down.

They need to feel safe with BOTH of you.

That's not about doing less. It's about releasing the scoreboard.

When he walks through the door, your response sets the tone.

"Alhamdulillah, Baba's home!" vs "Finally. Where were you?"

One builds. One breaks.

The strongest gift you can give your children isn't being their favorite parent.

It's showing them what a healthy marriage looks like.

Where both parents are respected.

Where love isn't rationed.

Where there's enough room for everyone to be loved differently.

You're not less because they want him sometimes.

You're not failing because he parents differently.

You're human. And you're doing the hardest job on earth.

But the goal isn't to win their love.

It's to teach them that love isn't a competition.






How I'd build a secure marriage starting from two wounded attachment styles.A sister came to me three months ago, comple...
12/08/2025

How I'd build a secure marriage starting from two wounded attachment styles.

A sister came to me three months ago, completely exhausted.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep asking my husband if we're okay. He says I'm too needy. Maybe I am."

She wasn't needy.

She was anxious attachment.

Her husband? Avoidant.

Classic pattern.

She'd ask: "Are we okay?"

He'd say: "Why do you always need reassurance?"

She'd feel rejected.

He'd feel suffocated.

They'd both go to bed angry.

The problem wasn't their love.

It was their attachment styles.

She needed words of affirmation to feel secure.

He needed space to process his emotions.

When he got quiet, she assumed the worst.

When she asked questions, he felt interrogated.

They were speaking different emotional languages.

And nobody told them this was normal.

Here's what we worked on.

We stopped focusing on who was right and started understanding their patterns.

She learned that his silence wasn't rejection. It was how he regulated.

He learned that her questions weren't control. They were how she felt safe.

They started using new language:

"I'm feeling anxious right now. Can you just tell me we're okay?"

"I need 20 minutes alone. It's not about you. I just need to reset."

Suddenly, they weren't fighting their marriage.

They were fighting FOR it.

The Prophet ﷺ was the best to his family because he understood people.

He gave each person what they needed.

Last week, she sent me a voice note.

"We had a moment where I would've normally panicked. But I caught myself. I told him I was feeling anxious instead of accusing him. And he... he actually reassured me without getting defensive."

That's the work.

Your attachment style isn't your fault.

But healing it? That's your responsibility.

And your marriage can be the safest place to do that work.

If you're anxious, your spouse isn't your enemy. Your fear is.
If you're avoidant, vulnerability isn't weakness. It's courage.
If you're disorganized, you're not too broken. You just need more patience.

Allah placed you together for a reason.

Maybe it's so you can both learn a healthier way to love.

Drop a 💚 if this hit different.

You've been doing anxiety recovery ALL WRONG. (here's why)...Last night I got a message from a sister:"I've been told my...
12/01/2025

You've been doing anxiety recovery ALL WRONG. (here's why)...

Last night I got a message from a sister:

"I've been told my anxiety is because I don't trust Allah enough. But I pray, I make dua, I try to have tawakkul—and still, at 3 AM, my mind races, my chest tightens, and I can't breathe."

This breaks my heart.

Because anxiety isn't a spiritual failure.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself experienced moments of distress and sought both spiritual comfort AND practical solutions.

When Khawlah bint Tha'labah came to him in distress, he didn't dismiss her feelings.

When companions faced fear, he taught them specific duas AND actions to take.

Islam gives us a framework that honors BOTH our spiritual AND mental health needs.

That tight chest? Those racing thoughts? The physical symptoms keeping you up at night?

They're real. And they deserve real support.

You don't have to choose between your faith and your mental health.

You deserve to sleep peacefully again.

Need someone to talk to? We're here to help.

11/27/2025

Gratitude isn't just a nice gesture, it's your lifeline when everything feels too much.

Most of us are drowning in expectations, rushing through gatherings, and missing the very moments that could heal our hearts.

Why? Because we're trained to chase what's missing rather than treasure what's present.

Think about it: When was the last time you truly paused to acknowledge what carried you through your hardest day? That text message. That unexpected moment of peace. That strength Allah placed within you that surprised even yourself.

The painful truth? Your blessings are slipping through your fingers while you're busy looking elsewhere.

Gratitude doesn't deny your struggles, it transforms them. It turns your "not enough" into "alhamdulillah" and your anxiety into possibility.

Today's challenge: Name one blessing that carried you recently. Say it out loud. Thank Allah specifically for it. Watch how this simple act steadies your heart when everything else feels unsteady.

Remember, whatever season you're in, you're still growing, still guided, and never walking this path alone.
.

Apparently, people still don't know this...My 5-year-old son had been fighting bedtime for weeks.Every night was a battl...
11/24/2025

Apparently, people still don't know this...

My 5-year-old son had been fighting bedtime for weeks.

Every night was a battle. Tears. Tantrums. Me losing my patience.

I was exhausted.

Then I tried something different.

"What do you think would make bedtime better?" I asked him.

His eyes lit up. No one had asked for his opinion before.

Together, we created a bedtime chart. HIS chart. With steps HE helped design.

That night, he followed every step without complaint.

The next night too.

And the night after that.

What changed? He wasn't following MY rules anymore. He was following OUR rules.

Children who participate in creating boundaries are significantly more likely to respect them.

This isn't permissive parenting. It's collaborative parenting.

It's the difference between oppression (do it because I said so) and discipline (let's learn this together).

When children help create the rules, they understand the purpose behind them.

They develop internal motivation rather than just avoiding punishment.

They learn critical thinking instead of blind obedience.

Most importantly, they feel respected, valued, and heard.

Try it this week. Sit down with your child and create ONE rule together.

You might be surprised at how reasonable children can be when given the chance.

👇 COMMENT BELOW: What's the most challenging rule to enforce in your home right now? I'm personally responding to every comment with specific collaborative approaches you can try.

(Or if you've tried collaborative rule-setting, share what worked! Your experience might be exactly what another parent needs to hear today.)

Ihsan Coaching is hosting “From Conflict to Connection: Practical Tools for Conflict Resolution & Emotional Connection (...
11/18/2025

Ihsan Coaching is hosting “From Conflict to Connection: Practical Tools for Conflict Resolution & Emotional Connection (Part 2)” — a powerful online workshop designed to help couples strengthen their bond and navigate challenges with confidence.

🗓 Starts November 19th
⏰ 9 PM EST
🎙 Led by licensed therapist and founder of Ihsan Coaching, Farhan Ahmed

If you’re looking to build healthier communication, deepen emotional connection, or simply invest in your relationship, this workshop is a wonderful opportunity. ❤️

Whether you attended Part 1 or are joining for the first time, you’ll gain practical tools and insights you can start using right away.

http://go.ihsancoaching.com/a36c3324

That moment when I realized my "trust in Allah" was sometimes just avoiding my pain...I was praying extra prayers, fasti...
11/17/2025

That moment when I realized my "trust in Allah" was sometimes just avoiding my pain...

I was praying extra prayers, fasting voluntary fasts, and reciting more Quran.

But I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating well. I was irritable with my family.

My spiritual practices were becoming a shield against facing my grief.

This is called spiritual bypass - using religion to avoid emotional work.

It's when we say "Alhamdulillah for everything" but don't allow ourselves to process difficult feelings.

It's when we judge ourselves for being human.

Islam doesn't ask us to be emotionless robots.

The Prophet ﷺ wept when his loved ones died.

He expressed joy, anger, love, and sadness.

He sought medical treatment when ill.

True tawakkul (trust in Allah) includes taking action toward healing.

True sabr (patience) isn't denying pain - it's enduring it while seeking solutions.

Your emotions aren't unIslamic.

Your need for therapy isn't a failure of faith.

Your healing journey matters to Allah.

What's one way you've noticed spiritual bypass in your life?

You've been doing guilt ALL WRONG. (here's why)...I still remember sitting on my prayer mat, tears streaming down my fac...
11/14/2025

You've been doing guilt ALL WRONG. (here's why)...

I still remember sitting on my prayer mat, tears streaming down my face.

I'd missed prayers for days.

The guilt was crushing me.

I felt like I couldn't even face Allah anymore.

Maybe you know this feeling too.

The voice that says you're not a good enough Muslim.

Not a good enough mother.

Not a good enough daughter.

Not a good enough wife.

Not doing enough, being enough, giving enough.

But here's what I learned that changed everything:

Guilt doesn't bring you closer to Allah.

Guilt doesn't make you pray more consistently.

Guilt doesn't make you a better mother, wife, or friend.

In fact, guilt does the opposite.

It creates a barrier between you and your prayers.

It drains the energy you need for your family.

It makes you hide from the very community that could lift you up.

The Quran reminds us that Allah wants ease for us, not hardship.

That's why we're creating a space where Muslim women can break free from the cycle of guilt.

Our 4-week Sisters Support Group starts tomorrow.

A place where you can:
• Learn practical ways to overcome prayer guilt
• Develop healthy boundaries without the shame
• Connect with sisters facing the same struggles
• Transform guilt into growth with Islamic wisdom

No judgment. No "you should know better."

Just support, understanding, and practical tools to move forward.

Registration link in bio. Today is the last day.

Limited spots available.

Think spiritual emptiness means you're a bad Muslim? Think again.I remember standing in prayer, tears streaming down my ...
11/10/2025

Think spiritual emptiness means you're a bad Muslim? Think again.

I remember standing in prayer, tears streaming down my face – not from connection, but from frustration. My heart felt like stone. My duas seemed to hit the ceiling and bounce back.

For months, I carried this secret shame. I was going through the motions while feeling nothing.

No one talks about this spiritual winter. This season where Allah feels distant.

The guilt can be crushing.

You wonder if you've done something unforgivable.

You see others with their hands raised in prayer, faces glowing, and think: "What's wrong with me?"

But here's what I learned during my darkest spiritual drought:

These periods of emptiness aren't punishment – they're invitation.

❤️ An invitation to seek Allah in new ways.
❤️ An invitation to worship beyond feelings.
❤️ An invitation to develop spiritual muscles you didn't know you needed.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself spoke about faith wearing out in our hearts like clothes wear out.

This means it's normal. Expected. Part of the journey.

What matters isn't how you feel during prayer – it's that you show up anyway.

That persistence when your heart feels nothing? It's more valuable to Allah than the easy worship that comes when you're spiritually high.

If you're in this place right now, know that you're not alone. The fact that you care about reconnecting is proof your heart is still alive.

For sisters navigating this journey, we've created a safe space to work through spiritual numbness together. Our new women's support group starts next week.

Link in bio to join us.

Al-Salamu Alaykum Sisters,If you’ve been feeling:Spiritually disconnectedAnxious or overwhelmedGuilty for strugglingAlon...
11/08/2025

Al-Salamu Alaykum Sisters,

If you’ve been feeling:

Spiritually disconnected
Anxious or overwhelmed
Guilty for struggling
Alone

Sister Amena’s Keeping Our Hearts Grounded 4-week support group is for you.

🗓 Starts Nov 15
💻 Virtual
👩 Max 10 sisters

You’ll learn to reconnect with Allah, manage anxiety, and build real sisterhood — no judgment, no pressure.

$100 for 4 weeks (payment help available).

Miss a session? No problem.

Learn more: https://go.ihsancoaching.com/198de658

Sister Amena is a National Board Certified Counselor with 10+ years of experience supporting Muslim women.

Address

2501 Chatham Road Suite 8165
Springfield, IL
62704

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+16305579427

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