04/10/2026
There's a cliche that the death of a child is "a parent's worst nightmare." And, while losing a child is one of the worst things that can happen to a parent, if the deceased child had any siblings, the surviving brothers and sisters have to live in that bad dream too.
Ethan Miller lost his only sibling, his older brother Luke, a little more than a month before Ethan turned 18. Now 25, Ethan volunteers with Lost & Found at events and facilitates our teen grief groups. On this National Siblings Day, Ethan offers his reflection on losing his big brother and the impact it had on his family.
Read the excerpt below and find the full version on our Stories & Blog webpage:
Thank you, Ethan, for sharing your story and being a ripple of hope today.🧡💙
💙🧡
"When I was 17, my older brother Luke died from complications of epilepsy.
His death was sudden and unexpected. He was only 20 years old. I watched my parents, once so steady and reliable, disintegrate into puddles of life’s most intense emotions. Within months, I became unwillingly familiar with the truth that “there is nothing worse than losing a child.”
Thankfully, my family was surrounded by a close-knit, loving community, and I watched from behind a quiet, stunned exterior as friends and family rushed to my parents’ aid. For a month, maybe more, we never had to lift a finger to prepare dinner. The meal train was so swiftly arranged that I assumed such things just appeared naturally in the wake of a tragic death, just like the texts, the confusion, and the tears.
Of course, I benefited from this support as well, but my hyper-sensitive adolescent awareness could not shake the pesky feeling that all of these well-wishers seemed keenly focused on the tragedy my parents had endured. There were comments, so subtly pronounced that I remember them as whispers, that quickly defined my place within the whirlwind.
These well-meaning voices convinced me––distraught and eager to do what I could to help return my parents to the people I knew––that I did not get to feel this loss. That, at least for now, it was theirs, and it was my responsibility to let it be theirs. So, little by little, I retreated into the performance of okay-ness that would stunt my grief for years, left with only the memory of the one person who could’ve helped me – my brother."
Read Ethan's full story here: https://lostandfoundozarks.com/the-loss-of-a-brother-a-best-friend/