02/10/2026
BEING SELF-ISH [Visit the link at the end of this message to learn the "music”]
Many folks give up something for Lent (e.g. beer, coffee, chocolate, shopping, watching sports, “Judge Judy” or some other TV favorite). Other people learn to use Lent as a time to add something (e.g. rosary, bible study, exercise or almsgiving). Such practices are more or less helpful for most people, but our Happy Little Critters Band (HLCB) suggests that we all work at being more SELF-ISH.
What the hell do we mean by “SELF-ISH”? We do NOT mean selfishness—a kind of Individualism where we only care for ourselves, apart (SEPARATED) from others. Rather, we urge people to take care of themselves for the sake of the whole. If we don’t care for ourselves and take personal responsibility for doing our own business, we are of no use to the whole. We must not rely on others to do what we can do for ourselves.
The HLCB is totally dedicated to happiness for everyone. But none of us can be completely happy apart (SEPARATED) from the happiness of the rest of the world. We share in the same ONE ORGANISM (God)—whatever is done to the least part is done to everyone.
Developing a habit of being SELF-ISH means that each of us learns to ask, “Whose business is it?” In a healthy organism, every single part does its own job and completely shares the results. By contrast, unhealthy people are drowning in CODEPENDENCY or CONTROL. By doing other people’s business, and insisting that others do the same, they create a world in which everyone usurps the responsibilities of others.
An episode in the comic strip FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE illustrates the problem: Elly (the mom) tells Michael (her 12-year-old son) to pick up candy wrappers that he and his buddies scattered in the backyard. Michael murmurs under his breath, “It’s your fault…. You’re the one who gave us the candy.”
Before Lent begins, let’s examine our own love-communities (family, church and friendships). They are probably drenched in examples of unhealthy “love”—people doing other people’s business. Too often, what we mistakenly called “love” is codependency. No wonder lots of people are afraid to form close relationships.
Occasionally (e.g. with kids), it may be appropriate to do another’s business, but we must follow three rules: First, it’s got to be really important. Second, it’s got to be temporary. And, finally, it must be possible without causing more harm than good. For instance, a legal ban on abortion is bound to do more harm than good.
THIS LITANY OF MOTHER TERESA OF CALCUTTA (paraphrased) COULD BE CALLED “BEING SELF-ISH”:
People are illogical, unreasonable, self-centered and controlling. -
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish motives. -
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. -
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, you are vulnerable. -
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. -
Build anyway.
If you offer help to people in need, they may attack you. –
Offer help anyway.
If you will not bow to their control, they will call you arrogant. –
Don’t bow anyway.
After all, it has NEVER been about them or you SEPARATELY; it’s ONLY about being ONE ORGANISM (God).
Muscle-stretching exercises might hurt a little, but pain is not their purpose. Likewise, Lenten works of penance aren’t intended to cause pain; they’re meant to improve our relationships with God and others. Our HLCB can think of no better way to build up the ONE ORGANISM than for each individual part to be more SELF-ISH—by fully assuming responsibility for its own health, and caring for its own business.
© 2026 Rev. John Vogler [HappyLittleCrittersBand.com]