02/07/2026
There is no such thing as a “responsible alcoholic” or “responsible drug addict” especially as a parent.
When you choose to become drunk or high around your kids (or pregnant) that is not responsibility that is selfishness. Any time your brain chemistry is altered for that “feel good high” you are becoming disconnected from reality and disconnected from your children, and are sending the message to them that they are less important than your own happiness.
Relationships, whether it is your kids, spouse, parents, etc. require sacrifice in order to survive the test of time. The part that strikes me as truly ironic is how people justify why they choose to get high or drunk.
“My parents weren’t there for me..”
“I was abused (beaten, etc)…”
“No one cared about me…”
But what happens when kids are left to their devices in another room while you are tripping or passed out? Do you know if they are being abused by someone? What doors or gateways are opened to them? People who your parents thought were friends and would never do anything like that, did it to you! And you put them in a situation to be taken advantage of.
Because abusers act out of their unresolved trauma they became the very thing that had happened to them. It does not make it right, SMH but abuse has to stop somewhere and neglect is often the opportunity for its occurence. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.
Don’t get me wrong I used similar excuses when I was toasted as well. But how much better it was when I started addressing the root of the problem and getting therapy than blaming everyone else (God, church, people, etc.) and jumping in a bottle to fix my problems. The crazy part is, what message did I send or are you sending to those around you?
“You are not enough for me to be wholly present with you here and now….or here at all for that matter…”
“I can’t deal with you right now..”
“My happiness is more important…”
We live in an age where our desires, wants, and wishes are more important than anyone else’s and are not willing to sacrifice, and then wonder where our village or network is? You can not be a self centered person and expect people to want to be around you. You can not live a life of reckless abandon and expect people to accept your behavior, and for the love of everything there is, please do not bring children into this world and a life of abandon. They don’t deserve to live their own trauma with your added baggage.
It truly is time for people to take ownership and responsibility. You can stay in a pit of despair and wallow in your grief or you can make a change to be better. I’m not saying it will be easy, it’s going to be the hardest thing you have probably done, but you have to move up from the ashes. Who knows you could become the best version of you that you didn’t know was possible and give your kids the life and home you always wanted.
It has broken my heart the year of 2025 to see all the children neglected, ignored, abandoned, and hurt by those, whose very job was to care for them. Hopefully 2026 will be better.
Luke 9:23-25, Phil. 2:3-4, Gal. 5:14
- shared with permission
