Breakwater Counseling Services

11/08/2021

Sharing a poem that someone shared (not a client). Perhaps you will find it meaningful.

my brain and

heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become



eventually,

they couldn't be

in the same room

with each other



now my head and heart

share custody of me



I stay with my brain

during the week

and my heart

gets me on weekends



they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week

and their notes they

send to one another always

says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"



on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my

head has let me down

in the past



and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my

heart has screwed

things up for me

in the future



they blame each

other for the

state of my life

there's been a lot

of yelling - and crying



so,

lately, I've been

spending a lot of

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist



most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my

gut's plush leather chair

that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up



last evening,

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught

between my heart

and my head



I nodded

I said I didn't know

if I could live with

either of them anymore



"my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,"

I lamented



my gut squeezed my hand



"I just can't live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,"

I sighed



my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,

you should

go stay with your

lungs for a while,"



I was confused

- the look on my face gave it away



"if you are exhausted about

your heart's obsession with

the fixed past and your mind's focus

on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you



there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either



there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale



there is only this moment

there is only breath



and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work

their relationship out."



this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves



and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs



I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of

my lungs



before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

"what took you so long?"



~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

11/24/2020

08/12/2020

From Gary Chapman, author of "The 5 Love Languages" - a good word for any day, but especially now.

"We live in an "on demand" culture. If you want to watch your favorite show or listen to a particular song, technology has advanced so that you can—on demand. If you want to order a book, groceries, clothes, or even a car, you can with a few simple clicks online. We can get what we want, when we want (most of the time). And while this is a great use of technology, it doesn’t translate very well when it comes to human relationships. When we mix the two, we find ourselves irritated when others don’t act according to our expectations on demand.

Patience is one of the traits of love. To be loving is to be patient. It can also be described as accepting the imperfections of others. This begins by recognizing that people are not machines. They have thoughts, feelings, and they make decisions. Those decisions will not, and do not, always line up perfectly with our expectations, so if we want peace in our emotions and relationships, we need to learn to show grace—allowing others the same freedom we want afforded to us.

If you find yourself irritated because someone is not acting according to your expectations, take a step back, be patient, show some grace, and give him or her the freedom to be human . . . just like you."

04/01/2020

https://www.appreciationatwork.com/blog/understanding-and-managing-anxiety/

Taking small steps can help in big ways over the long run. The article mentions limiting financial news. I would add that limiting our intake of global news to trusted sources and restrict the number of times/day that we check in also help a great deal.

With the COVID 19 pandemic, anxiety has been brought front and center for many of us. If we don’t take steps to combat it, anxiety can rule our days and distract us from the things we need and want to be doing.

01/28/2020

Words have power. Choose them wisely.

Harness the power of words to grow your business today: www.purplefeather.co.uk. For personal transformation order Andrea Gardner's book 'Change Your Words, ...

06/21/2019

06/06/2019

"It can be instructive to observe your own response when things don’t go your way,” ...“It might reinforce your passion for the work you’re doing or send you in a whole new direction – and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

The message ignores the humbling, brutal, messy reality of life.

06/28/2016

From a client - with permission - "Imagine a therapist is like hiring somebody to organize your filing cabinet ....except it's your mental files." Perhaps if more people realized that a therapist is there to help - like any other service professional one might hire, there would be less stigma and better mental health. You wouldn't think twice about having the electrician fix your faulty wiring or breaker box - yet so many people hesitate to get help reframing their faulty thinking or learning to choose less toxicity in life. These things are no less important than the tangibles for which we call in repair workers. If you or someone you know needs a little "repair work" or just a check-in to make sure they're on a good track to mental health, get that help for yourself or for them!

05/13/2016

Excited and proud to sponsor the Bridge of Hope Centre County 2nd annual Glowin' Home Run! Ending homelessness for single moms.

08/04/2015

There are times when it is incredibly difficult to see beyond our own struggle and pain. We feel like pulling the proverbial (or literal) blanket up over our heads and letting the world pass us by. Though it seems counterintuitive, the best thing we can do for ourselves at those times is to reach out to someone else. Someone who needs to hear that someone cares. Send a card to a shut-in. Take some flowers to a friend who's had surgery or is going through their own rough time. Volunteer at a shelter - for people or animals. Giving of ourselves, doing something worthwhile - that's the ticket for rising above our own "stuff." It gets the focus off of ourselves - we are wounded healers. When we make a difference in our world, we take the first steps in making a difference for ourselves.

02/11/2015

"Let it go....let it gooooo....." I suspect that there are few among us who cannot identify that song these days and yet I don't think Disney has done us any favors with that one. It is often quoted out of context, as an admonition to others whose complaints we are weary of hearing - sort of like a Disney version of any pop culture helper we are fond of quoting. And when it is flippantly thrown out as our best "get over it" advice, the insinuation is that it is easy to do. Truly letting go of the things that hold us back from being our best selves, while necessary, is not usually that simple. We carry our "stuff" with us - like a back pack or a suitcase loaded with rocks. There's one in there for such things as anger, jealousy, hurt, grudges, stress, an overcrowded schedule - you name it - it's in there and you're carrying around with you everyday. Ever try to actually carry heavy luggage around all day? It gets pretty heavy - and we get pretty tired. Your emotional baggage has a pretty big impact also. It affects your sleep, your work, your relationships, your spirituality, your self-esteem - just about everything. Start today by choosing one "rock" you will leave behind - start with just today.....what makes "letting it go" so difficult is that we focus on the long term.....but if you can live just one day without that one rock, my guess is you'll be able to get through tomorrow without it, and the next day and so on. Repeat the process until the luggage has some space in it to be filled with gratitude and blessings. So what will it be? What rock will you remove from your backpack or suitcase today? If you want to share it with me, feel free to send me a private message - sometimes a little accountability helps.

11/04/2014

"Depression is your demon and you try to drown it but you can't because it knows how to swim." This powerful insight was spoken by a pre-teen client (whose permission was granted to share it). All too often, people who know this battle do not reach out to others - because they are afraid others won't care, or they will be "too much" for their friends and family to deal with. If any of this resonates with you - reach out - to your family, a trusted friend, your clergy person or a counselor. It takes courage and trust.....but know that there IS hope.