12/16/2025
Pathways for Inclusion: A DeLuca Family Initiative thank you for asking us to write an article. We can’t wait to collaborate in 2026!
“How SLPs and Families Can Support Children at the Table”
Family gatherings are often centered around food—holiday meals, birthday parties, backyard cookouts, or Sunday dinners. While these events bring joy and connection for many, they can be stressful for children with feeding difficulties and for the caregivers who support them. What appears to be “picky eating” is often much more complex. For children with pediatric feeding disorders (PFD) or sensory, developmental, medical, or oral-motor challenges, these environments can be overwhelming.
As a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) working in feeding therapy, one of the most common concerns I hear from families is:
“How do we manage big family meals without stress, pressure, or meltdowns?”
The good news: With preparation, teamwork, and understanding, family gatherings can become positive experiences for everyone involved.
Understanding Pediatric Feeding Difficulties
Pediatric feeding difficulties can include challenges like:
● Limited food repertoire (often fewer than 20 foods)
● Oral-motor weakness or coordination issues
● Sensory sensitivities to textures, smells, or temperatures
● Anxiety or behavioral responses around meals
● Medical complications (reflux, allergies, GI issues)
● Developmental delays impacting feeding skills
These challenges are real and can make large social meals feel unpredictable or unsafe for a child.
How SLPs Can Help Families Prepare for Gatherings
1. Build a Plan Together
SLPs can help families create an individualized “Gathering Game Plan” that includes:
● Preferred foods to bring
○ Allowing the child to eat from their known and preferred list removes pressure
and helps them stay regulated enough to enjoy the social aspects of gathering.
● A seating arrangement that reduces pressure
○ Showing the child where they’ll sit
○ Letting them choose where to sit
● Scripts for explaining the child’s needs to extended family
○ Caregivers may need to gently intercept well-meaning relatives. For example:
○ “We’re following a plan from our feeding specialist to help make meals feel safe.
We’re focusing on keeping pressure low, so we’re letting her explore food at her
own pace.”
● Strategies for supporting regulation (breaks, movement, quiet space)
○ Letting them help set the table (if they want)
○ Allowing breaks without judgment
○ Keeping the meal to a manageable timeframe
○ No pressure plate-for food exposure without pressure
2. Use Pre-Exposure and Practice
● Therapists/Families can often help children rehearse gathering-related experiences:
○ Sitting at a larger table
○ Trying a new plate or utensils
○ Tolerating new smells
○ Practicing a “no thank you” routine
This helps reduce the sensory and emotional load on the day of the event.
3. Equip Families With Language That Supports, Not Pressures
● SLPs provide coaching on what to say—and what not to say—around food.
● Use supportive phrases:
○ “You can explore this however you choose.”
○ “You don’t have to eat it; smelling or touching is okay.”
○ “You’re in charge of your body.”
● Avoid phrases:
○ “Just one bite.”
○ “You used to eat this!”
○ “You’ll hurt grandma’s feelings if you don’t try it.”
○ “Is that all you're eating?”
○ “You’d like it if you tried it!”
4. Celebrate Non-Eating Wins
● Feeding therapy is about more than bites. Families can celebrate:
○ Sitting at the table
○ Tolerating new sights or smells
○ Helping serve others
○ Engaging socially with family members
Tips for a Smooth and Positive Gathering
✔ Bring a “meal kit”: preferred foods, familiar utensils, cup, napkins
✔ Offer a quiet spot to retreat if overwhelmed
✔ Keep communication open between caregivers, SLP, and hosts
✔ Use a “no-pressure plate” for exposure without expectations
✔ Practice flexibility—nothing needs to be perfect
✔ Focus on connection, not consumption
Bringing separate food, modifying the routine, or stepping outside mid-meal is not spoiling the child—it's supporting them.
Family gatherings should be about togetherness, not battles over bites. When SLPs and
families collaborate, children with feeding difficulties can feel safe, supported, and included—no matter what’s on their plate.
A child’s relationship with food is a journey, and every peaceful gathering is a meaningful step forward.
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This article was submitted by: Vanessa Maurer MS. CCC-SLP of Hometown Pediatric Solutions.
