09/05/2025
mattering matters!
Native Health Matters
Problems / questions I hear:
I’m feeling inadequate—at work, in my relationships—it’s like everything I do misses the mark. I’m dissatisfied and frustrated with my life right now…
I keep grinding at work, waiting on that promotion that never comes…
I found an answer once in an unexpected place—my mom’s retirement community. I don’t know about all retirement communities, but this one was cool.
A bunch of old people minding to themselves, not looking for anything or anyone else to give them significance. It’s like they got into older age and became revolutionaries again, or anarchists. They were like kids.
They’re God-loving patriotic Americans with wild senses of humor and a total lack of pretense or political correctness. They laugh at everything—and love getting laughed at. They also love to have a good chat and offer unsolicited life advice.
“You always look like you’re havin’ fun when I see your work, Matthew, and that’s what life’s all about—keep havin’ fun.”
“The greatest achievement in life is your kids, Matthew, so have a bunch—and remember, grandkids are twice as nice and half the work.”
Death, family crises, and newborns—the end of a life, trying to keep a life, and welcoming in a new one—these are three things that will shake your floor, give you clarity, remind you of your mortality, and give you courage to live harder, stronger, and truer. Three things that make you ask yourself:
“What matters?”
Three things that make you realize,
“It all does.”
The following is a prayer in my new book Poems & Prayers, it’s called “Mattering Matters.”
mattering matters
Dear God,
May what matters to me be what matters to You
May that matter determine what I do
May my struggle matter more than my strife
May death matter more than this life
May forgiveness matter more than revenge
May restraint matter more than my binge
May my wants matter as much as my needs
May my thoughts matter less than my deeds
May the truth matter more than the lies
May the hows matter as much as the whys
May the guest matter to the host
May the center matter to the coast
May the cheers matter to the toast
May the humor matter to the roast
May the living matter to the ghost
May less matter to the most
May earn matter more than deserve
May the steel matter to the nerve
May space matter to time
May the heart matter to mind
May the risk matter to the leap
May letting go matter to keep
May the spirit matter to our voice
May options matter to our choice
May rhythm matter to my muse
May finding matter when I lose
May should matter to must
May love matter to lust
May righteousness matter to just
May our word matter to trust
May laws matter to the offense
May borders matter to the fence
May money matter to spend
May prayer matter to the bend
May what’s broken matter to mend
May the credit matter to lend
May memory matter to libation
May fun matter on vacation
May help matter to the holler
May prudence matter to the collar
May science matter to prediction
May dreams matter to fiction
May ignorance matter to abuse
May pardon matter to the excuse
May direction matter to the pace
May debate matter to the case
May heaven matter to seek
May patience matter to the meek
May our vows matter to I do
May the horizon matter to our view
REASON
Psychologists have studied happiness across the human lifespan, and the results might surprise you. Turns out, happiness follows a U-shape over time. According to research by Susan Charles, PhD, and Margaret Gatz, PhD, people in their 60s are about as happy as people in their 20s.
Why?
Because negative emotions—stress, anxiety, frustration, anger—decline as we get older. But the positive ones—joy, pride, calm, wonder—they stick around. We stop sweating the small stuff. We realize how little most of it matters—and how deeply some of it does.
That’s what those old-timers in the retirement home had figured out. They weren’t trying to prove anything anymore.
They were just trying to live well with what mattered.
And mattering… matters.