03/22/2026
My 20-year-old self was still searching for her path and terrified of anything that felt too ‘wild’—including herself.
Back then, I was so busy trying to fit a mold that didn’t have room for parts of nature (or my own spirit) that felt unpredictable or ‘too much.’ Fear was my default because I hadn’t yet learned how to trust myself.
But there is a specific kind of magic that settles into your bones in your 40s. It’s a decade of shedding the performative and replacing it with a deep appreciation for raw truth.
I found this Mama Wolf Spider while working the compost the other day. She’s spent all winter guarding that egg sac, weathered and unwavering.
In my 20s, I would have seen something scary, something to avoid. At 44, I see a reflection of the fierce, protective, and vital energy all women carry.
Building our little homestead—and this life—isn’t just about the garden beds; it’s about the stewardship of the soul. It’s about realizing that the things we were once told to fear—the spiders, the dirt, our own internal ‘wild’—are often the very things that keep our hearts thriving.
True healing begins when you stop running from the things you were taught to fear—including yourself. 🌿
Suburban homesteading in North Carolina meets the soulful evolution of the 40s. Moving from a lost 20-something to a grounded, certified yoga and meditation guide means trading performance for presence. This journey into organic gardening, vermicomposting, and natural pest control is a metaphor for the stewardship of the soul. Whether it’s managing a Greensboro backyard ecosystem or navigating the midlife awakening of your true self, true healing begins when we stop running from the wildness we were taught to fear. From protecting a Mama Wolf Spider to reclaiming personal power, we are rooted in nature, not fear.