Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA LMFT, CEDS

Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA LMFT, CEDS Marriage and Family Therapist
Professional Clinical Counselor
Self-Acceptance and Eating Disorders Specialist

Alli specializes in working with males and females wanting to gain freedom from their troubled relationships with food, dieting/binging, and body image. She also helps people to work-through issues related to relationships, trauma, anxiety, depression, grief/loss, maturation troubles, and low self-esteem. If you are interested in more information, feel free to view Alli's website (www.TherapyHelps.Us) or give her a call.

01/01/2026

💭 The idea of “overreacting” is interesting.

We rarely tell people they’re under reacting.
We usually say “you’re overreacting” when someone’s response disrupts our comfort or our sense of flow.

And here’s the thing — your reaction belongs to you. It’s shaped by your experiences, your nervous system, your history, your values.

That doesn’t mean every reaction has to turn into action. It means your feelings get to exist without being minimized or judged (particularly by you!).

You’re allowed to respond in your truth.
You’re allowed to take up emotional space.
You’re allowed to feel what you feel.

Understanding can come later.
Acceptance comes first. 💛

12/30/2025

🔥 Hot take (with a lot of care):

Your insecurities aren’t someone else’s responsibility to fix.
And vice versa.

‼️That doesn’t mean we stop being kind. It doesn’t mean we become selfish. It means we work on our own healing instead of using others to boost our self-image, self-esteem. etc. And it means we limit outsourcing our healing energy to others.

Personal growth asks us to notice our triggers, name our needs and wants, and take responsibility for the work that’s ours — while still allowing space for support, connection, and compassion.

You’re allowed to ask for help.
You’re allowed to set boundaries.
And you’re allowed to do your growth imperfectly.

Growth is hard. But we, you, me— we each can do it. 💛

12/27/2025

🌿 Let’s talk about forgiveness.

There seems to be a common message that forgiveness is the ultimate form of healing — that you’ll feel lighter, freer, more at peace once you forgive.

And for many people, that idea feels heavy instead of healing.

Before forgiveness can even become a real consideration, there’s something else that matters deeply: acceptance.
1️⃣Acceptance of what happened.
2️⃣Acceptance of how it affected you.
3️⃣Acceptance of/about the circumstances.

Without that foundation, it can be hard to decide what the next step actually is — whether that’s forgiveness, distance, protection, boundaries, or something entirely different.

Healing doesn’t have a single correct destination.
Forgiveness is one possible path.
Choosing not to forgive is also a valid path.
Protecting yourself, temporarily or forever, is a valid path too.

Choosing not to forgive is another.
Protecting yourself—whether temporarily or long-term—is still another. Heck, each may apply at different times.
This is your journey. You’re allowed to move forward in the way(s) that supports your safety.💛

12/23/2025

Sometimes we underestimate how much a small moment can matter.

A smile.
Holding a door.
A kind word.
A pause to acknowledge someone.

You may never know what someone is carrying when they cross your path — and that doesn’t mean your kindness is small. Often, it lands far more deeply than the energy it took to offer it.

We hear extreme versions of this idea in stories, and the everyday truth is quieter:
connection changes people.
being seen changes people.
kindness lingers.

So today, if you can, offer something gentle—because being human with each other matters.

We make more of a difference than we realize. 💛

12/19/2025

🔥 Hot take (apparently): feelings are allowed.

You’re allowed to have feelings.
They’re allowed to have feelings.
You’re allowed to be upset — and so are they.

Multiple truths can exist at the same time.
Your emotions don’t cancel out someone else’s, and theirs don’t invalidate yours.

Being upset doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wrong.
And having emotions doesn’t necessarily mean you owe anyone immediate resolution.

You can honor your feelings and hold space for someone else’s, too.
You can feel activated and still choose how you respond.

Feelings are information. Let them inform you.
Then decide what support, boundaries, or care you might need next💛

12/13/2025

🌟 Why is being kind to yourself a hard part of being human?

We grow up in a world that teaches us to soften for other people… and sharpen everything toward ourselves.
That double standard gets reinforced — marketing, advertising, school, work, even well-meaning family messages.

Somewhere along the way, showing kindness to yourself got mislabeled as being un-humble, and “self-criticism” got framed as responsibility.

And here’s the truth:
It makes sense that supporting others feels easier.
You weren’t taught how to extend that same care inward.

Self-kindness isn’t arrogance.
It’s a skill.
And skills can be learned.

So today, try offering yourself even one thing you’d offer someone you care about.
A gentle tone.
A pause.
A little patience.

You deserve the same compassion you give away so freely. 💛

12/11/2025

✨ Holiday tip! If being around certain people gets you tense, try curiosity!

The shift is subtle — instead of bracing, judging, shrinking, arguing, gritting your teeth, etc., ask inside: “What’s really going on here?” or “What feelings is this stirring up in me?”

As noted in Psychology Today’s article When Narcissism Joins You at the Holiday Table, holidays can bring increased pressure, old family dynamics, and attention-seeking behaviors — sometimes from folks with big emotional needs. (Psychology Today)

Curiosity helps you stay grounded. It lets you notice what’s happening inside you without getting swallowed by it. It lets you hold your own sense of calm even if the conversations or energy around you get loud.

You don’t have to manage the emotions of others.
You just need to protect your own peace — with self-compassion, boundaries, and awareness.

🛑 If the dish being served at the table is “too hot,” consider:
- stepping outside for air,
- shifting the topic,
- or by simply taking care of yourself.

You get to choose what stays on your plate. 💛

12/10/2025

Ever wonder why we keep doing things that don’t support our mental health… even when we know better?

Here’s the human truth:
If a behavior keeps showing up, it’s not because you’re broken or “making bad choices.”
It’s because that behavior is meeting a need or a want in the moment— even if it’s also causing harm.

You probably keep doing whatever “it” is because “it’s” serving you somehow!
Sometimes it gives comfort.
Sometimes it creates numbness.
Sometimes it gives structure, distraction, or a sense of control.
Sometimes it’s simply familiar, and familiar feels safe.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Healing doesn’t come from shaming yourself out of a pattern.
It comes from getting curious about what the pattern is doing for you — and finding gentler, more sustainable ways to meet the same need.

So instead of beating yourself up mentally, maybe try asking:
“What is this helping me with right now… and what else might support me, too?

Compassion opens the door to change. 💛

12/09/2025

💛 Gentle PSA from a therapist who cares:
I heard about someone who developed eating-disorder symptoms while using a GLP-1 medication — and while that doesn’t mean the medication caused it, it does highlight something important:

We need real informed consent when it comes to any treatment that affects appetite, weight, or body cues.

Informed consent loosely means understanding both risks and benefits of a treatment. It’s a great time to ask any questions you have, and to share, explore, and ask about known concerns with your provider. It’s also a good time to be really honest with them.

Honesty isn’t about being “a difficult patient.”
It’s about protecting your wellbeing.

These medications are powerful, and so are you — which is why you deserve clear information, open conversations, and a provider who knows your full story.

If you’re considering a GLP-1, already taking one, or feeling unsure about your relationship with food or your body while on it, you are not alone.

Take care of yourself. Be cautious. You matter. 💛

Address

12441 Ventura Court
Studio City, CA
91604

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 7pm
Tuesday 10am - 7pm
Wednesday 10am - 7pm
Thursday 10am - 7pm

Telephone

+18183882355

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA LMFT, CEDS posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA LMFT, CEDS:

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category