Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA

Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA Provides mental health counseling and marriage and family counseling

Narcissists bait others to give them attention. They need a steady stream of attention to feel significant and be happy....
12/15/2025

Narcissists bait others to give them attention. They need a steady stream of attention to feel significant and be happy. Any attention, even negative attention, is more tolerable to a narcissist than no attention. Resist dropping everything to feed a narcissist’s ego.


This is a powerful Truth to remember. God uses jobs and people to provide for His beloved people. They are nothing more ...
12/11/2025

This is a powerful Truth to remember. God uses jobs and people to provide for His beloved people. They are nothing more than temporary earthly sources of provision that God uses. Although God may be presently choosing to use them, He can also choose to use other sources.

Resist staying in an abusive relationship or occupational position because you think the person or job is providing for you. They are not your provider. God promises to provide for you, and He will bless you for setting boundaries and working with Him to put a stop to wicked behavior.

Take Him at His Word: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19), emphasis added.

When a narcissistic parent creates chaos, confusion, or emotional instability, your children feel it deeply, no matter t...
12/10/2025

When a narcissistic parent creates chaos, confusion, or emotional instability, your children feel it deeply, no matter their age.

But the good news is this: YOU are their safe haven.

Children simply need what narcissistic parents cannot give:

• Unconditional love that never has to be earned
• Age-appropriate honesty so they can understand truth
• Safety, security, stability, and structure
• Respect and autonomy
• Encouragement and emotional connection

Your presence, your calm, your consistency, and your Christ-anchored love become the foundation that shields your children from manipulation and fear.

And please hear this:
You do not have to be perfect.

You only need to be trustworthy, loving, and grounded in God’s truth.

You have been chosen by God to be your children’s place of refuge, the one who teaches them what real love looks like.

If you’re raising children alongside a narcissistic co-parent, you are not alone. There is hope. There is wisdom. And there is a community walking this same road with you.

If this message encouraged you, I invite you to join my email community, where I share guidance, biblical wisdom, and practical tools for navigating life with a narcissist, and protecting your heart and your children.

Email me directly at Lslade4@verizon.net to join my email community.

Trust can only be established when someone says, “I commit do doing ______________. Please hold me accountable for follo...
12/09/2025

Trust can only be established when someone says, “I commit do doing ______________. Please hold me accountable for following through,” and then follows through on the commitment.

Vague and non-committal language erodes trust. Precise, committal language builds trust.

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:43-45.

12/08/2025

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t start with yelling, it starts with silencing you.
Little by little, you begin living for their approval.
You take responsibility for their emotions.
You stop using your voice because their anger, retaliation, or guilt trips feel too overwhelming.

Before you even realize it…
you’re no longer living as you.
You’re living as an extension of the narcissist.

This is what emotional control looks like:
• You hide your feelings to avoid conflict
• You compromise your values to keep the peace
• You abandon your needs so they won’t explode
• You shrink yourself so they can stay comfortable

And over time, you become invisible — even to yourself.

But here’s the truth:
Your voice matters.
Your feelings matter.
Your identity matters.

Healing begins the moment you stop living for a narcissist’s approval and start reclaiming your own.

You are not here to carry someone else’s emotions.
You are here to live in truth, strength, and freedom.

12/05/2025

Here are the 3 mental habits that keep survivors trauma bonded and unable to break free from a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

1. Reminiscing about the “good times.”
Those moments weren’t love, they were manipulation, love bombing, and reward cycles designed to hook you emotionally.
Your brain remembers the highs, not the harm.

2. Ruminating over the bad times.
Replay loops fuel anxiety, fear, and confusion, which keeps your mind tied to the narcissist.
Every replay reopens the wound.

3. Fantasizing about reconciliation.
This is the most dangerous trap.
When the narcissist Hoovers you, your brain wants to believe “maybe they changed.”
But Hoovering is NOT love.
It’s a tactic to regain control.
It’s fantasy, not reality.

If you want to detach, you must starve the bond.
Stop feeding it with memories, mental loops, or hope that the narcissist will ever become someone different.

Detach. Heal. Reclaim your life.

12/05/2025

Is it biblical to remarry after leaving a narcissist?

Short answer: Yes.

If your marriage ended because of abandonment, narcissistic abuse, adultery, or ongoing sin, Scripture says you are not bound to stay trapped.

This is where so many Christians get confused because narcissistic spouses twist the Bible to keep you feeling guilty, obligated, or “unfaithful” for wanting peace.
But God’s word is clear:

1 Corinthians 7:15

“If the unbeliever leaves, let them go.
The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances. God has called us to live in peace.”

A narcissistic partner may claim to be a believer, but Scripture says you look at their fruit, not their words. If their behavior violates every vow the made…
If the break the covenant through abuse…
Then you are not bound.
And if you are not bound, you are free to remarry in the Lord.

God does not call you to a life of bo***ge, chaos, or emotions destruction. He calls you to peace, stability, purpose, and partnership. And when God restores, He restores beautifully.

If you’re wrestling about guilt about divorce or remarriage after narcissistic abuse, hear this:
You did not break the marriage.
You survived what broke it.
And you’re allowed to step into the next chapter God has for you.

12/03/2025

“Will I ever heal after leaving a toxic relationship with a narcissist?”

This is the question almost every survivor of a narcissistic relationship asks… usually when they feel hopeless, worn down, and unsure if life will ever feel normal again.

Here’s the truth: Healing is possible, but it’s not instant, and it’s not linear.

Most people think healing means “never triggered again” or “always happy.”

But real healing after narcissistic abuse is a process:
• Stabilizing your life again
• Learning to grieve what happened
• Feeling emotions you were never allowed to feel
• Letting anger finally work for you, not against you
• Rebuilding your identity piece by piece

If you’ve been in multiple narcissistic relationships, the process takes time, and that’s normal.
You’re not failing.
You’re healing.

The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is progress.
And every time you feel your feelings, hold boundaries, or choose yourself… that is healing.

You will get there. One layer at a time.

11/29/2025

Is a narcissist trying to alienate you from your children?
You’re not imagining it.
You’re not overreacting.
And you’re not alone.

Narcissists use parental alienation as a weapon because it gives them the ultimate payoff, power, control, and an ego boost. One of the most common tactics they use is projection.
They accuse you of coaching the kids, turning them against the other parent, or being “manipulative”… when in reality, it’s exactly what they are doing.

Here’s the truth:
Teaching your children about healthy boundaries is NOT alienation.

Teaching them to recognize disrespect and abuse is NOT alienation.

Teaching them how to protect themselves is NOT alienation.
It’s your God-given responsibility as their parent.

When you stop teaching your kids how to navigate unhealthy behavior because you’re afraid of “being accused,” the narcissist gains more power, and your children lose the truth they desperately need.

There’s a massive difference between teaching your children emotional safety… and teaching them to hate their parent.
You’re doing the first.
The narcissist wants others to believe you’re doing the second.

Stand firm.
Stay grounded in truth.
And remember 2 Timothy 1:7 — “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”

You are not powerless.

Your relationship with your children was designed by God, and He will protect you as you teach them how to protect themselves.

11/25/2025

If you’re out in the dating world and want to avoid ever getting trapped by a narcissist again, start with these two character tests:

1. Is this person respectful?
Do they value your feelings?
Do they listen, ask questions, and show care?
Do they demonstrate respect through small actions — like opening the door, being considerate, and paying attention to what matters to you?

Respect is a non-negotiable. Narcissists can fake charm, but they cannot sustain genuine respect.

2. Is this person responsible?
Do they have a stable job?
Long-term friendships?
A consistent lifestyle?
Are they connected to a church or community?
Responsibility reveals long-term character — not just personality.

Whether you’re a woman assessing a man, or a man assessing a woman…
Respect + Responsibility are the two qualities that predict emotional safety, maturity, and long-term stability.

Ask better questions early — it will save you from heartache later.

11/24/2025

There is one thing that shuts down a narcissist’s control every single time:

Non-engagement.

Narcissists bait you because they need your emotional reaction to overpower you.
They want you drained, defending yourself, and explaining yourself — so you eventually give in.

But when you calmly say things like:

“I’m not going to argue about this.”
or
“We’re not going to see eye-to-eye, so there’s no reason to discuss it.”

…you shut down their entire strategy.

These are boundary messages — and narcissists hate them.

Because without your engagement, the narcissist loses their power.
They cannot escalate, twist your words, wear you down, or call you “crazy” as a distraction.

The Bible repeatedly warns us not to engage with foolish, manipulative people.
Non-engagement is not weakness — it is wisdom.

Give the narcissist what they need (non-engagement).
Withhold what they want (your emotional reaction).

This is how you protect your peace, your clarity, and your God-given identity.

If you want a copy of my “Do Not Scriptures” handout — the biblical reminders that help you stay grounded during narcissistic attacks — email me at:
lslade4@verizon.net

11/21/2025

When a narcissist shuns you or emotionally punishes you for speaking the truth in love, remind yourself of this:

It is not personal.
It is a spiritual response, a rebellion against God’s way of doing things, not yours.

Scripture says,
“A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord.” — Proverbs 19:3

Their rage is not about your truth.
It’s about their refusal to walk in truth.

And here is what you need to hear today:

Be proud of yourself.
They are reacting this way because you did not collapse into codependency.
You held your identity.
You stood for righteousness, your values, your needs, and the relationships that matter to you.

You also stood for their wellbeing, even if they can’t see it.
It is exactly what God asks of you — and exactly what the narcissist never wanted you to do.

God sees your heartbreak.
He will heal it.
He will bring new, healthy friendships and love into your life in His perfect timing.

Put your hope in Him and claim Micah 7:7:

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord.
I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.”

You are not alone, and you are not unseen.
God hears you. God will restore you.

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Tampa, FL
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