Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA

Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA Provides mental health counseling and marriage and family counseling
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01/16/2026

Narcissistic parents may manage their image with adults,
but children always experience the truth.

Here are three red flags narcissists cannot conceal from their kids—no matter how charming or convincing they appear.

🚩 1. Lack of empathy
Narcissists may fake compassion temporarily, but when a child is hurt, upset, or vulnerable, their emotional absence shows.
Children are told they’re too sensitive, overreacting, or fine—instead of being comforted.

🚩 2. Chronic self-prioritization
A narcissistic parent will choose their own agenda over a child’s emotional needs, relationships, or milestones.
What matters most is convenience, control, and entitlement—not the child.

🚩 3. Narcissistic rage and tantrums
When narcissists don’t get their way, they erupt.
They feel entitled to their anger and show little concern for how their outbursts affect others—including their own children.

The most important truth your children need to know is this:
Their narcissistic parent’s behavior is not personal—and it is not their fault.

Children deserve:
• Compassion
• To be prioritized
• Protection from immature and abusive expressions of anger

Understanding these patterns allows you to prepare your children, name what’s happening, and help them preserve their sense of worth and emotional safety.

📘 For more guidance on protecting children when the other parent is narcissistic, you can explore the book Don’t Let Their Crazy Make Your Kids Crazy by Laurel Slade-Waggoner
🎧 You can also find related episodes on the Help! I Have a Narcissist in My Life podcast, available on all major platforms.

🙏 I pray this strengthens and encourages you. God bless.

01/15/2026

Co-parenting with a narcissist is not about cooperation.
It’s about containment, clarity, and emotional protection.

If you’re dealing with long emails, emotional rants, manipulation, or baiting, these three principles matter:

1️⃣ Respond only to what is required
Narcissists use excessive communication to dump emotion and regain control.
Sift through the noise. Answer only direct, necessary questions. Ignore the rest.

2️⃣ Show no emotion (Gray Rock)
Narcissists feed on reactions—anger, tears, or shutdown.
Your emotions are precious. “Above all else, guard your heart.” — Proverbs 4:23

3️⃣ Do not offer opinions or advice
Narcissists are not open to wisdom or perspective.
Engaging only drains you and invites conflict.
“Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” — Proverbs 1:7

🙏 I pray these rules help preserve your strength and clarity as you navigate co-parenting with a narcissistic parent.

01/14/2026

If you were in a relationship with a narcissist who constantly criticized you, moved the goalposts, and made you feel like you were never enough, you may now be carrying false guilt and lingering shame.

This is not a character flaw.
It is a trauma response.

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle with:
• Chronic self-blame
• Over-analyzing past decisions
• Feeling guilty for things that were never wrong
• Shame that doesn’t match reality

Here’s a 4-step, Scripture-anchored process to help interrupt that cycle:

1️⃣ Ask God for forgiveness
For what you did that He didn’t want you to do—and for what you didn’t do that He did want you to do.

2️⃣ Ask God to help you forgive yourself
Self-forgiveness is often the hardest step after emotional abuse.

3️⃣ Ask God to help you remember the good
Recall the righteous, loving, faithful things you did do—especially in situations where you were trying to survive.

4️⃣ Shift your focus to the present and future
Ask God to help you focus on what you can control now, and what He is calling you toward next.

Turn these steps into a prayer of release, then intentionally redirect your attention.

And when shame tries to pull you back into rumination, anchor yourself in Truth:

📖 “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

If you are condemning yourself, that voice is not coming from Christ.

As you step into 2026, may your false guilt dissolve, your shame lose its grip, and your heart rest in the mercy and grace of God.

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not condemned.

01/13/2026

Covert narcissists don’t look abusive at first glance.
They often appear quiet, humble, introverted—even “safe.”
But behind closed doors, the damage they inflict is deep and invisible.

Here are 7 common signs of a covert narcissist many victims experience:

1️⃣ Chronic jealousy and envy they refuse to admit
2️⃣ Social withdrawal paired with subtle bad-mouthing of others
3️⃣ A constant victim mindset in relationships and life
4️⃣ Extreme sensitivity to disagreement or feedback
5️⃣ Gaslighting that leaves you doubting yourself
6️⃣ A calm public image but private cruelty and emotional indifference
7️⃣ Intense self-focus that makes others feel unseen and unimportant

Covert narcissistic abuse is often more confusing than overt abuse because:
• There are no obvious explosions
• The wounds are psychological, not visible
• You’re often blamed for “being too sensitive”

But hear this clearly:

👉 You are not imagining the harm.
👉 You were not created to carry someone else’s shame.
👉 God sees what is happening to you.

Scripture reminds us:
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

Ask Him for discernment.
Ask Him for strength.
Ask Him for courage to stand against covert abuse.

He will help you see clearly, and protect your heart.

Expecting a narcissist to co-parent will only cause you immense frustration. Anticipate counter-parenting and plan accor...
01/12/2026

Expecting a narcissist to co-parent will only cause you immense frustration. Anticipate counter-parenting and plan accordingly. Pick your battles and work with your children directly whenever possible. They are more characterologically mature than their narcissistic parent.

Proverbs 15:7: “The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not upright.”

Proverbs 23:9: “Do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words.”

01/09/2026

Every year, I prayerfully choose one word and one Scripture to anchor my heart for the year ahead.

This year, my word is CONFIDENCE.

I originally thought my word would be healing. But as I prayed, God gently revealed something deeper:
After years of narcissistic trauma, what truly needs healing is my confidence.

Narcissistic relationships quietly erode trust
• trust in yourself
• trust in others
• and sometimes even trust in God’s provision and protection

So I asked, What does Biblical confidence really mean?
And the definition I found stopped me in my tracks:

Biblical confidence is deep, fearless trust in God,
not in self or worldly security, rooted in faith, anchored in His promises, and leading to courageous action.

That definition alone felt healing.

My verse for 2026 is Hebrews 4:16:

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

That is my prayer this year, to receive God’s mercy and find His grace in every moment of need.

If you’re unsure what your word should be, I encourage you to pray and ask God:

👉 What has this relationship with a narcissist taken from me?
👉 What does my heart most need restored?

The answer He gives you may become the very word that leads you into healing in 2026.

So… what’s your word?
Ask Him. He is faithful to answer. 🤍

Proverbs 10:23: “A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom.”Psalm 14:1: ...
01/08/2026

Proverbs 10:23: “A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom.”
Psalm 14:1: “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Even though their mouths sometimes say differently).

01/07/2026

How narcissists interact with their children is not random — it follows predictable patterns of control, intimidation, and emotional manipulation.

A narcissistic parent often uses:
• Rage, over-reactivity, and temper tantrums
• Threats of abandonment, isolation, or revoked visitation
• Shaming, sarcasm, chronic criticism, and subtle put-downs
• Guilt-tripping and fear-based decision-making
• Emotional neglect, indifference, and lack of empathy
• Bribery, favoritism, and “fun parent” tactics to gain control
• Parentification — forcing older children to become caregivers
• Chaos, lack of structure, and no boundaries to make you look like the bad parent

The goal is always the same: submission, compliance, and emotional control.

When children are raised in this environment, they often learn to:
• People-please to avoid punishment
• Doubt their own needs and feelings
• Live in fear, obligation, or guilt
• Confuse chaos with love

And here’s the hardest part for healthy parents to accept:
👉 You cannot reason with a narcissistic parent. They will not listen.

What does help is working directly with your children:
• Explain why structure, rules, and routines matter
• Teach them healthy boundaries without attacking the other parent
• Name harmful behavior without shaming
• Show them that consistency = love, not control

You don’t need to call the narcissist out.
You need to counter the damage with truth, stability, and presence.

Your calm, your structure, and your consistency will neutralize more damage than arguments ever could.

You are not failing.
You are protecting your children — one steady moment at a time.

💛 Stay strong. I’m praying for you.

01/06/2026

When your child comes to you emotionally wounded after time with their narcissistic parent, everything in you wants to fix it immediately—or confront the damage.

But what your child needs first is not solutions.
They need PEACE.

I teach parents a simple, powerful framework called the PEACE Process to help children feel safe, soothed, and emotionally secure after narcissistic harm.

Here’s what PEACE looks like:

P — Personal Presence
Give your child undivided, unhurried attention. Eye contact. Stillness. Your presence tells them, “You matter.”

E — Engagement
Gently invite them to share what happened and how they felt. Listen without rushing, correcting, or minimizing. Your interest builds trust.

A — Affection
Comfort regulates the nervous system. Long hugs, holding hands, wiping tears—yes, even for teenagers. Affection heals.

C — Calm
Your calm becomes their calm. When you stay grounded and prayerful, you model safety and allow God’s peace to flow through you to them.

E — Empathy
Validate their experience without judgment. Empathy is not agreement—it’s understanding. Statements like “That sounds really hard” help your child feel seen.

👉 Only after PEACE is established do you move into problem-solving.
Trying to solve the issue too soon can make children feel unheard or emotionally dismissed.

When you use this process consistently, your children learn:
• They are safe with you
• Their feelings matter
• They can trust you with hard things
• Healing is possible

This is how you neutralize the emotional impact of a narcissistic parent.
This is how you stop the cycle from passing to the next generation.
This is how you give your child moments of heaven on earth when they need it most.

📘 If you want to go deeper, I’ve written extensively on protecting children from narcissistic harm.
You can learn more at slade-waggonercounselingservices.com

💬 Save this for later.
🤍 Share with a parent who needs this today.

01/05/2026

One of the biggest fears loving parents carry is this:
“If my child’s other parent is narcissistic… will my child become narcissistic too?”

Here’s the truth most parents need to hear 👇
You cannot guarantee outcomes, but you can greatly reduce the risk.

Children don’t become narcissistic because of genetics alone.
They become narcissistic when their identity, boundaries, and relational understanding are never developed.

Here’s what does protect your child:

1️⃣ Help them develop a real identity
Notice who God created your child to be.
Their strengths. Their vulnerabilities. Their temperament. Their interests.
Reflect it back to them. Nurture it. Don’t reshape them to meet someone else’s ego.
Identity rooted in truth is the opposite of narcissism.

2️⃣ Teach boundaries early (both kinds)
Children need:
• Defining boundaries → “This is who I am.”
• Protective boundaries → “This is how I protect who I am.”

When kids learn how to define themselves and protect themselves, they don’t grow up needing control, admiration, or dominance.

3️⃣ Teach what healthy relationships actually look like
Mutual respect.
Mutual honesty.
Mutual responsibility.
The ability to apologize, repair, and change.

When children understand healthy relating, they can recognize:
• Unhealthy behavior in others
• AND unhealthy tendencies in themselves

That awareness is powerful.

If you are consistently:
• reflecting truth
• modeling boundaries
• teaching healthy relationships

You are actively breaking the cycle, even if the other parent is narcissistic.

Do not live in fear.
Evil does not automatically win.
What you pour into your child matters more than you realize.

📖 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

You’re doing holy, meaningful work. Keep going.

01/03/2026

When do you know it’s time to leave a narcissist?

Not when you’re exhausted.
Not when you’ve tried “one more time.”
Not when you’re hoping love will finally change them.

You know it’s time when you fully recognize this truth:

A narcissist is not capable of a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship requires:
• Mutual honesty
• Mutual effort
• Mutual respect
• The ability to repent
• The humility to say “I’m sorry”
• And the willingness to change hurtful behavior

Narcissists refuse this process.

They don’t work toward change—they work around it.
They don’t self-reflect—they justify.
They don’t repent—they deflect.
This is called cognitive rigidity, and it is a defining feature of narcissistic abuse.

When you see the consistent absence of these essentials—and a refusal to change—you are called to respond with wisdom, not endurance.

Biblically and psychologically, the next step is clear:
You invite the narcissist into a plan of change.

If they refuse that invitation…
You stop moving closer.
You begin creating distance.
And you seriously consider ending the relationship.

God never instructs us to keep offering ourselves to ongoing abuse or neglect.

Scripture is unmistakably clear:
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs.
If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
— Matthew 7:6

You are not unloving for stepping away.
You are not failing for choosing peace.
You are not disobedient for protecting what God calls precious.

Your life, your heart, and your peace are pearls.
Stop offering them to someone who refuses to treasure them.

12/31/2025

Why won’t a narcissist let you go after a breakup or divorce?

It’s not love.
It’s not attachment.
And it’s definitely not regret.

Narcissists are terrified of being completely alone.

When a relationship ends, you are no longer their priority—but you are kept as a possibility. Narcissists maintain a feeding system of people they can access for ego boosts, power fixes, validation, or responsibility dumping when it suits them.

You are placed “on the shelf.”

They return when:
• They need admiration
• They need reassurance
• They feel rejected elsewhere
• They want control
• They don’t want to handle responsibility themselves

Narcissists can only feel okay when someone is reflecting back their specialness, power, or superiority. If you stop feeding that need, they simply rotate to someone else in their system.

That’s why the hoovering starts.
That’s why they won’t fully release you.
That’s why they keep checking the door.

But hear this clearly:

You were never meant to be someone’s option.
You were created to be someone’s priority.

Resist the urge to stay emotionally available “just in case.”
Resist rescuing.
Resist responding out of guilt, fear, or habit.

Every time you stay accessible, you reinforce the narcissistic cycle.

Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 4:23:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Guard your heart.
Detach with clarity.
Live like you are precious, because you truly are.

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