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Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA, Tampa, FL (2026)

03/17/2026

One of the most common questions people ask is:

“Do narcissists actually believe their own lies?”

The answer is…

Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.

Let me explain.

Narcissists don’t see themselves as they actually are.

They see themselves as they wish to be.

So when reality contradicts their self-image…

Their mind goes to work.

They will:

• Rewrite events
• Forget key details
• Twist memories
• Reframe situations

All to protect the image they have of themselves.

This is called narcissistic confabulation.

It means their brain actually reconstructs reality to avoid shame.

For example:

They may remember you yelling…

But completely forget:

• Their provocation
• Their aggression
• Their role in the conflict

So in their mind…

They are the victim.

And they truly believe it.

But here’s the part you need to understand:

Not all narcissistic lies are unconscious.

At times, narcissists will also:

• Lie intentionally
• Manipulate strategically
• Distort truth on purpose

To control:

• You
• The narrative
• The outcome

So sometimes they believe the lie…

And sometimes they know exactly what they’re doing.

But either way…

The result for you is the same:

You are dealing with someone who is not grounded in reality.

And that’s why relationships with narcissists feel:

• Confusing
• Chaotic
• Exhausting
• Emotionally draining

You’re not crazy.

You’re just trying to operate in truth…

While they’re operating in distortion.

03/17/2026

Grandiose narcissists are some of the most deceptive and convincing people you will ever encounter.

They present themselves as:

• Confident
• Powerful
• Impressive
• Successful
• Untouchable

But behind that image is something very different.

Grandiose narcissists have:

• An inflated sense of self-importance
• A distorted view of their abilities
• No respect for boundaries, rules, or authority
• Little to no empathy for others

To them, people are not people.

They are tools.

And words?

Words are just weapons they use to get what they want.

In the beginning, they will use:

• Charm
• Love bombing
• Confidence
• Big visions and bold ideas

To pull you into their world.

But when that stops working…

They switch.

To:

• Intimidation
• Bullying
• Shaming
• Control

Because at the core of everything they do is one goal:

Getting what they want.

And here’s the dangerous part…

It can look like they are winning.

It can feel like they will never be held accountable.

But that is a lie.

Scripture reminds us in Psalm 37:12–13:

“The wicked plot against the righteous…
but the Lord laughs, knowing their day is coming.”

And in Psalm 147:6:

“The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.”

No matter how powerful a grandiose narcissist appears…

Their reign does not last forever.

Truth wins.
Justice comes.

So don’t believe what the narcissist says.

Don’t believe what appearances show.

Stand on truth.

03/16/2026

7 ways narcissists punish people and what you can do about it.

03/13/2026

When you’re in a relationship with a manipulative or abusive narcissist, the darkness can sometimes feel overwhelming.

The fear.
The confusion.
The emotional exhaustion.

There may be moments when the despair is so deep that you can’t even find the words to pray.

If you’ve ever felt that way, you are not alone.

In those moments, one of the most powerful things you can do is turn to the Psalms.

The Psalms are full of prayers written by people who were in deep distress — people who felt surrounded by danger, betrayal, fear, and injustice.

Sometimes their words help us pray when we don’t have words of our own.

Psalm 71:2-4 says:

“In your righteousness rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go.
Give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked.”

When you are facing narcissistic abuse, remember this truth:

The narcissist and the enemy of your soul cannot enter the sacred space of prayer unless you allow your mind to wander there.

Scripture says to resist the enemy, and he will flee.

Sometimes the most powerful prayer is simply repeating a Psalm over and over until peace begins to break through the fear.

God truly is your:

• Rescuer
• Deliverer
• Fortress
• Rock of refuge

And He hears you — even when you don’t have the strength to say much at all.

03/12/2026

One of the biggest reasons people stay stuck in a relationship with a narcissist is dependency.

Not just emotional dependency…
but practical dependency.

You may find yourself thinking:

“If we separate… who’s going to do this?”

Maybe the narcissist handled certain things around the house:

• Fixing things
• Taking care of the car
• Changing filters or light bulbs
• Handling finances
• Opening jars or lifting heavy things

And suddenly the thought of doing all of that yourself feels overwhelming.

That fear can keep you stuck far longer than you should be.

But here’s a powerful way to begin breaking that dependency.

Start doing the things they normally do.

Little by little.

When you come across something they usually handle, instead of asking:

“Who’s going to do this?”

Ask yourself:

“How can I do this?”

Or even better:

“I can do this.”

You may not love doing those extra chores…

But every small step builds something powerful:

Confidence.

And confidence breaks dependency.

As the Tanzanian proverb says:

“Little by little, a little becomes a lot.”

So ask yourself today:

What is one small thing you can start doing that will build your independence?

Because every small step forward brings you closer to freedom.

03/12/2026

If your child’s other parent is a narcissist, you may worry about how their influence could affect your child’s identity.

Narcissistic parents often expect their children to become their “little mini-me” — someone who mirrors their beliefs, emotions, and behavior.

But children can learn powerful skills that help them protect their core identity while adapting to difficult environments.

In this video you will learn:

• How narcissistic parents try to control their children
• Why identity development is critical for kids of narcissists
• The powerful “Turtling” skill that helps kids protect themselves emotionally
• How children can adapt without losing who they truly are
• Why teaching your child their God-given identity protects them from manipulation

One of the most important things you can do as a parent is help your children understand:

They were created with a unique identity, purpose, and voice.

When children understand who they are, it becomes much harder for a narcissistic parent to manipulate them or shape them into someone they are not.

In this video we also talk about a powerful coping strategy based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) called Turtling, which teaches kids how to:

• Protect themselves emotionally
• Let hurtful words roll off
• Adapt in different environments
• Speak up for themselves
• Recover when life flips them upside down

These are life skills that help children thrive even when dealing with a narcissistic parent.

If you are navigating co-parenting with a narcissist or trying to protect your child from narcissistic manipulation, this video will give you practical tools to help your child stay grounded in their identity.

For a deeper dive into helping children understand narcissistic family dynamics and protect their identity, check out the book:

Don’t Let Their Crazy Make Your Kids Crazy

It provides additional guidance for parents raising children with a narcissistic co-parent.

You can find my book on my website, slade-waggonercounselingservices.com

03/12/2026

When parents go through a divorce, children often experience something called a “loyalty bind.”

And many parents don’t even realize it’s happening.

A loyalty bind is when children feel emotionally torn between their parents.

They believe that:

• If they show love toward one parent
• They are somehow betraying the other

So they feel stuck.

They feel like loving one parent means hurting the other.

This creates stress, guilt, and emotional confusion for children of all ages — even adult children.

But there is a powerful way to help your kids through this.

First, explain to them that many children feel this way during divorce.

Then ask them if they have ever felt torn between their parents.

When they share their feelings:

✔ Thank them
✔ Validate them
✔ Let them know their feelings are normal

Then give them this incredibly important message:

They are NOT actually in a loyalty bind.

Because love is not subtraction.

Love is multiplication.

Just like Jesus multiplied the loaves and fish so everyone could be fed, the love in their heart can multiply too.

Loving one parent does not take love away from the other parent.

They are free to love both.

And when you give your children that permission, you release them from a heavy emotional burden.

Even if the other parent is narcissistic and does not give them the same message, you are still giving your children an incredible gift.

A gift that will shape their future relationships and emotional health.

Your words matter more than you realize.

And your children will carry them with them for the rest of their lives.
l.deal

03/10/2026

Here are 5 things NOT to do when you’re married to a narcissist:

1️⃣ Do NOT protect the narcissist’s reputation.

Covering for their behavior prevents the natural consequences of their actions.

It interferes with the law of reaping and sowing in their life.

Truth matters.

⸻

2️⃣ Do NOT repeatedly beg the narcissist to change.

Repeatedly asking them to change often gives them more opportunities to:

• Reject you
• Dismiss you
• Label you as “controlling” or “nagging” to others

Narcissists frequently weaponize your efforts against you.

⸻

3️⃣ Do NOT isolate from your support system.

Isolation makes you more vulnerable.

Stay connected to:

• Friends
• Family
• Wise counselors
• People who truly care about you

Healthy support systems strengthen your ability to set boundaries.

⸻

4️⃣ Do NOT prioritize the narcissist over everything else.

When you center your entire life around the narcissist, it often feeds their sense of entitlement and control.

Continue investing in:

• Relationships
• Hobbies
• Activities that bring you joy
• Your personal growth

⸻

5️⃣ Do NOT obsessively pray for the narcissist to change.

Instead of constantly praying for them to change, begin praying for yourself.

Ask God for:

• Discernment
• Strength
• Courage
• Wisdom to set boundaries

Emotionally releasing the narcissist to God often helps you guard your heart.

⸻

When you stop doing these things and begin doing the opposite, the narcissist’s grip on your life often begins to loosen.

You regain clarity, confidence, and peace.

And remember this promise from Psalm 28:7:

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me.”

God is with you, and He will strengthen you as you pursue truth, wisdom, and healthy boundaries.

03/09/2026

If your child has a narcissistic or irresponsible parent, one of the most powerful lessons you can teach them is this:

There is often a big difference between what feels good and what is good.

And sometimes in life, they will have to choose between the two.

This is an incredibly important life skill.

Narcissistic people often make decisions based on what feels good in the moment—
comfort, pleasure, control, or ego.

But wise decisions are made based on what is good, even when it is harder.

Help your children understand:

• Feelings are not facts
• Feelings can be temporary and misleading
• Good choices often require discipline and patience

You can also help your children learn how to overcome temptation by creating systems that reward wise choices.

Teach them practical decision-making skills and reinforce those choices with encouragement and support.

And most importantly, teach them that God gives us strength to choose what is good.

1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

When children grow up learning to prioritize what is good over what feels good, they develop discernment.

Over time, they will begin to recognize the difference between wise choices and destructive behavior—even when they see the opposite modeled by someone else.

Keep equipping your children with wisdom, truth, and life skills.

God sees your faithfulness.

Galatians 6:9 reminds us:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Do not give up.

Your child’s narcissistic parent is not more powerful than God’s truth or His promises.

03/09/2026

Narcissists operate from a deep sense of entitlement and superiority.

Because of this mindset, there are certain phrases that completely disrupt their expectations.

Here are 3 statements that often confuse narcissists:

1️⃣ “No.”

To a narcissist, this feels shocking.

They believe they deserve compliance and agreement.
So when someone calmly says no, it challenges their sense of entitlement.

Healthy people understand boundaries.

Narcissists often do not.

⸻

2️⃣ “You’re wrong.”

Narcissists typically see themselves as the authority in every situation.

The possibility that they could be mistaken rarely enters their thinking.

When someone confidently tells them they are wrong, it disrupts the image they have built of themselves as superior and always right.

⸻

3️⃣ “I don’t care what you have to say.”

Narcissists believe their opinions are extremely important and that others should value what they say.

So when someone disengages and refuses to give their words importance, it often leaves them momentarily stunned.

⸻

Understanding narcissistic thinking can help you stop taking their reactions personally.

Their confusion often comes from encountering healthy boundaries and independent thinking.

And that’s not something narcissists expect.

03/06/2026

Covert narcissists may smile, smirk, or even laugh after shutting you down with gaslighting or manipulation.

That moment reveals something important.

It shows they are taking pleasure in your confusion, pain, or defeat.

That is not love.

That is wickedness in action.

Scripture makes this very clear.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:6

When someone claims to love you but finds satisfaction in overpowering, humiliating, or silencing you, their behavior is revealing their true character.

In that moment, you do not need to argue.

You do not need to defend yourself.

You can simply say:

“I see what’s going on here.”

And then walk away.

Why?

Because continuing to engage only feeds the narcissist’s desire for power and control.

Protect your peace.
Protect your heart.
Protect your energy.

You are not required to stand in the presence of manipulation, cruelty, or evil behavior.

You are precious, and God does not call you to tolerate wickedness in order to prove your love.

Sometimes the most powerful response is discernment and distance.

03/06/2026

Narcissists have an excessive need to control and dominate others.

Why?

Because of their black-and-white way of thinking.

In their mind, there are only two categories:

• You are for them
• Or you are against them

There is no middle ground.

If a narcissist believes you are against them, they will often escalate their behavior through:

• Belittling
• Arguing
• Dominating conversations
• Manipulating situations
• Trying to overpower you emotionally

But there are two strategic ways you can sometimes neutralize their domination attempts.

1️⃣ Use validation and reframing language

Help them see you are not their enemy.

You might say things like:

• “I think we both want the same outcome here.”
• “We’re on the same side of this.”
• “I agree with you on this part.”

This doesn’t mean surrendering your truth.

It simply lowers the narcissist’s instinct to fight because they no longer perceive you as an opponent.

2️⃣ Bring in a witness when possible

Narcissists behave differently when other people are observing.

You can do this by:

• CC-ing someone on an email
• Including a third person in a conversation
• Documenting communication in writing

Why this works:

Narcissists crave external approval and affirmation from others, even though they often dismiss the feelings of the person they are targeting.

Introducing a witness can encourage them to behave more reasonably.

These strategies are not about fixing the narcissist.

They are about protecting yourself and reducing manipulation.

Sometimes wisdom means learning how to navigate toxic behavior without getting pulled into it.

As Proverbs 4:23 reminds us:

“Above all else, guard your heart.”

Guarding your heart sometimes requires strategy, boundaries, and discernment.

Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA

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