Family Matters, LLC

03/17/2024

Truth Bomb: She’s not the problem.

Is your mother-in-law telling your wife daily how lazy you are? Is his ex-wife constantly creating drama in the home? Are the kids crafted to create conflict and chaos wherever they go? Are these [outside] forces shredding the integrity and joy of your marriage?

The Good: Every marriage has its challenges. Actually, Dr. John Gottman studied more than 40,000 couples and learned that 67% of what couples argue about is never going to change. EVERY couple. Your husband will never use the toothpaste properly. Your wife will never arrive early or even on-time. These conflicts are not the signature of a bad marriage, they are the mark of ALL marriages!

The Bad: John Gottman found that good marriages and happy families all have 5 pleasant interactions (“I put gas in your car!” “How did the test go?” “I brought home takeout!”) to every one negative interaction (“please don’t speak to me like that” “that doesn’t appeal to me”).

The Ugly: Strong marriages get stronger under pressure, and a marriage with small cracks will split wide open under attack. The saying is: Ships don’t sink from the water around them; they sink when the water gets inside. The mother-in-law, ex-wife and the kids all need to face a unified front in your marriage with strong boundaries to keep out invaders. But they don’t need a strong marriage as much as you do.

If you and your partner need help digging the moat and raising your battlements, focused couples counseling can get you what really matters: Your marriage.

-laws

03/17/2024

Prepare your marriage for life's emergencies by stockpiling affection and trust before you need it!

Is your mother-in-law telling your wife daily how lazy you are? Is his ex-wife constantly creating drama in the home? Are the kids crafted to create conflict and chaos wherever they go? Are these [outside] forces shredding the integrity and joy of your marriage? The Good: Every marriage has its chal...

03/04/2024

I have a failsafe guide to step parenting that can be boiled down to two simple words: PLAY BALL. Or, if you prefer: BAKE COOKIES

Parenting is hard. It can be beautiful and spiritual and fulfilling, but it is always hard at some points. Parenting someone else’s children is like trying to bathe a cat that belongs to the commander of a firing squad. And he’s watching you. I have a failsafe guide to step parenting, that can b...

01/04/2023

In every way, dating and living together is not the same as marriage. Why? What do you think makes the difference?

11/29/2022

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- and so is the health of your marriage!

Many schools of therapy can play a part to improve the quality of your relationship.

The most important step it to remove anything blocking the bond, trust and intimacy between a couple!

11/27/2022

There is so much beauty in life- so much RIGHT!

Our brains, however, are built to look for danger, for (percieved) threats and to dwell on drama.
It's easy to find ourselves sunk in a pit of despair and hopelessness.

Reclaiming your happiness from the traps we fall into may not be easy, but it's possible.

It's in your control.

And since 99% of life is happening in our minds, the potential benefit wildly outweighs the effort of learning some new tricks!

11/18/2022

Do you feel caught up in the pressure to succeed or be happy?

Can you take the time to appreciate that you are right where you should be right now?

Here's a quick trick:
Close your eyes and fully feel 5 regular breaths.
Feel five things you are currently touching
Name three things you can smell.
Find five sounds you can hear.

What if you already have everything you want?

11/15/2022

Where to vacation. What to name the kids. What to have for dinner. How to drive.

It turns out that decisions are stressful for all of us as individuals, too!

But when we are stuck making decisions with the same person for years, it can wear down the relationship if the process isn't handled properly.

How does your relationship decide? Do you enjoy the process? Are you happy with the results?

11/10/2022

Getting married is the single biggest decision a person will make in their life. There is no "undo" button.

Do yourself a favor and make SURE you are thinking clearly.

More than Yes or No, premarital counseling can iron out rough patches before they come. This give you a smoother foundation to build your future on!

11/04/2022

The routine bustle of daily living can bleach life of its joy, robbing us of the deep connections we need. This is how our spouses become "roommates" and when we value them for tasks completed.

In truth, it's not a chore -list that leads to a string marriage, but the connection of two souls invested in each other.

Please use this weekend.
Don't 'have' fun
Or 'make' time

Just allow the distractions and interruptions to fade out and let the beauty of love, life, and the people around you shine through.

There is so much good in the world. Allow yourself to see it!

10/27/2022

Dear parents of Teenagers,

- the child you love is still in there

- it's the natural, normal development of humans

- this, too, shall pass

- as long as they know you love them, you're doing great!

10/20/2022

Why do Step parents get such a bad rap? Maybe because we don't understand the job of "PARENT" as well as we need to!

We grow our children through love and support and modeling with our our behavior. Step-parenting is no different! The only challenge is that the "needs" oF a newborn are easier to see and fulfill than the pre-teen you just met.

The rewards of both jobs are beyond measure and can add years to your life and quality to your years!