11/05/2025
When it comes to s-x, we might judge what someone else is saying, doing, or wanting as “not appropriate.” But what does “appropriate” really mean?
It’s a word loaded with shame, implying a universal rulebook for what’s right and wrong.
In reality, s-x is deeply personal, and the most helpful approach isn’t about external moral codes, it’s about our own authentic boundaries.
When we label something inappropriate, we assume the other person is wrong. But more often, our reaction is a sign our own boundaries have been touched.
Discomfort doesn’t mean the other person is wrong. It means something in us is being activated, inviting us to check in. Instead of relying on external rules, we can ask:
- How does this land in my body?
- Does this feel good, or does it bring up discomfort?
- Am I open to this, or does it cross a line for me?
Imagine your partner suggests watching p**n together, and your reaction is, *That’s inappropriate! * You might feel discomfort or judgment, but instead of shutting down the conversation, you check in with yourself.
Is your reaction coming from a true boundary - you don’t want to watch p**n?
Or is it from shame-based messages that p**n is “bad” or “dirty”?
If it’s the latter, you might explore whether this belief still serves you. Either way, the key is to own your response rather than frame it as a moral judgment.
This process helps us consciously evaluate what we’re open to rather than react from old conditioning.
(Side note: did you know there’s ethical p**n and p**n made by women? Talk to me about it if you want more info ;)
As a s-x and relationship coach, I help you develop deep awareness of their boundaries, separate from shame and judgment.
I guide you in recognizing your “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” with clarity and confidence. Just as importantly, I help you practice communicating boundaries in ways that foster connection rather than shutting it down.
Are you ready to tune into your boundaries and communicate them with confidence?
Schedule a free consultation, click the link in my bio .