05/13/2020
We talk about dating someone who matches your effort - on them. But what about dating someone that matches your effort on yourself. You can't put all this work on becoming the best of yourself, the highest form of yourself, and then be in a relationship with someone who accepts and is satisfied with the lowest form of themselves. Make sure their effort on themselves matches the effort you have put on yourself. It takes a lot to "become." And I'm talking strictly personal development, not professional. That MD, JD, PhD, MBA, nor that six figure salary can masks those childlike insecurities, those adolescent self-esteem issues, nor those childhood traumas and communication issues. You can be an esteemed professional and yet be severely underdeveloped mentally and emotionally. When you have put in the work on you, understand that by being in a relationship with someone who hasn't done the same or isn't doing the same, you're jeopardizing your progress. How you expect to be intimate with trauma and not suffer from trauma? Even therapists need therapists. You better learn your limit and get to know it before you end up having to carry baggage around that don't belong to you.
-What it look like when you will go further with someone who is developed personally than someone who is developed professionally. Understand, two people focused on their personal development will always build a stronger foundation than two people focused on their professional development. Someome who is solely focused on their personal development could only be but so underdeveloped professionally. A little direction, a little time, motivation, they'll be fine. But someone who is focused solely on their professional development could be severely underdeveloped personally. Given the demands of life, it's very difficult, not impossible, to make the time to work on yourself once you have reached a certain status professionally. Understand, where someone has gotten themselves professionally does mean something, but it shouldn't be the determining factor. Date someone's effort on their own personal development. You won't regret it.
